There is a certain rush that hits you right in the chest when a guy you like gives you a little bit of attention. It can be something as simple as a smile or even a full-blown flirtatious conversation. What it is doesn’t really matter, because the sheer impact of attention is nothing short of addictive. Do you regularly ask yourself, why do I crave male attention?

If you do, is it a fleeting crave or a real need? There is a very big difference between the two.

If you crave it, that’s pretty normal. We all crave the attention of someone we’re crushing on. But, if you feel you need it in order to feel good about yourself, well, it’s time to take a look within and ask yourself why you’re not finding that feel good factor from yourself and from the things you do in your life.

[Read: How to be emotionally independent and stop using others for happiness]

Why do I crave male attention?

A craving is something you want. It’s something that you enjoy and that gives you a temporary high. Pretend it’s a hot, sunny day. Someone walks past you with a popsicle in their hand. Your mouth starts to water. You’re craving a popsicle and you know that when you get one, you’ll feel a temporary rush of satisfaction.

That’s what it’s like when someone you like gives you a little attention.

We all experience this. It’s part of attraction. And it’s normal to want them to show you attention because you start to think that perhaps it means you like them too. If nothing else, it means they see you, they acknowledge your existence and in some ways, that’s still a high in itself!

However, if that craving turns into a desperate need, take stock of the situation.

[Read: How to stop being codependent and start finding yourself]

You’ve basically put this guy on a pedestal so high that nothing is going to knock him off it. As a result, just a look from him gives you an adrenaline rush so strong it’s like the world’s most addictive drug. When you don’t get that attention, perhaps he’s busy, he’s stressed out, or maybe someone else has taken his fancy, you feel down and your confidence takes a hit.

So do you find yourself wondering, “why do I crave male attention?” The issue here is that your confidence is already a major problem because you need that attention to feel good about yourself.

It’s time for an intervention. [Read: Oneitis – The unhealthy effects of obsessing over one person in your life]

Learn to feel good when you give yourself attention

The fact you’re asking yourself “why do I crave male attention?” means that you’re on the right track. It means you already understand the craving and you’re questioning it. From there, ask yourself whether it is the normal hit of feel good factor that comes from a regular craving, or whether it’s a need for attention in order to feel good about yourself.

[Read: Attention seeking behavior and why some people go looking for drama]

If it’s the latter, you need to start focusing on number one.

What is missing from your life? Clearly you think it’s a man at this stage, but let me tell you one thing. A guy is not going to give you what you need in life, only you can do that. Sure, they can make life more enjoyable, and you can create a relationship that fulfills you emotionally. But there are certain things that you need to do for yourself and be there for yourself in order to understand. You have to feel like you’re enough on your own to find true happiness, because a guy isn’t going to do it for you!

The fact you’re asking yourself this is a good start. Now ask yourself what it is about that attention that you want. Is it because you feel like he’s taking notice of you? Or is it because you think that by him giving you attention it means he likes you back? Is it because you don’t feel seen much of the time and suddenly you do? [Read: How to look fabulous and appealing while trying to get attention]

You can’t figure out the answer to the bigger question unless you unpick how his attention makes you feel.

Let’s be honest, he’s just a guy. He could be the most good looking, kind, considerate, talented, and funny guy on the planet, but he’s a human being with flaws, just like everyone else. Why do you assume that you’re less than this? Because really, if you need attention from someone else, really NEED it, then you don’t think you’re enough for yourself as you are. [Read: Why using thirst traps on Instagram could be making you feel worse about yourself]

Build up your confidence

People can up and leave you at any moment. It sounds depressing, but it’s the truth. That’s the reason why you should be independent enough in the background to know that whatever comes your way in life, you’ll be fine, because you’ve got you. When you ask yourself “why do I crave male attention?”,  be sure that the answer is a reasonable one. Otherwise, you’ve got serious self discovery work to do.

Now, I have been where you are now. A few years ago I lacked in confidence, and I didn’t feel like I was worthy of attention. So, when a guy I really liked threw me a smile, a glance, or even spoke to me, I suddenly felt like perhaps I was worthy. I stuck with that cycle for a while before I had a huge wake up call. He started seeing another girl, and he was giving all his attention to her.

[Read: The soul crushing signs your crush doesn’t like you back]

It stung a little, I’ll be honest, but it made me question why I was so stuck on the small crumbs of attention he was throwing my way. What made him so special? Why did I feel so unseen and invisible? Why did I assume that I wasn’t worthy of attention in general? It’s only when I started to question all of this that I realized I wasn’t exactly living my best life.

What life is it when you are waiting for someone who show you a little attention in order to feel good about yourself? So, I started doing things for myself.

I started going to the gym and saying ‘yes’ to those invitations to go out with friends when I always made excuses in the past. And I started dreaming of far-flung destinations and travel. I basically started to do me. [Read: 16 life hacks to build your confidence and make you realize you’re worth it]

And you know what? It worked. I no longer care about the attention someone gives me. I mean, if they want to give it to me, I’m not going to complain. But I’m equally not as bothered when they don’t. I’m too busy enjoying my life.

Do I still enjoy a little male flirtation? Of course! It’s part of being human! And it’s normal to crave it sometimes, but not to want it. Can you see the difference?

The ironic thing is that when you start to fall in love with yourself and cast aside those desperate needs for attention, you actually attract love into your life.

 

 

 

DarkSideZodiac

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