There is almost nothing that makes you more restless than the time after the first date. While you’re still processing your impressions, you might ask yourself: how does he think? And above all: How should I behave now?
It’s getting late. You open the door of your apartment, but you still don’t want to go to bed right away. You grab another drink and sit on your couch.
You briefly consider watching another episode of this new series that your best friend recommended, but catch yourself staring out the window, lost in thought.
The lantern in front of your window still reveals enough. You realize you haven’t even turned on the little light in the corner.
You enjoy the silence. You had a nice first date with ” Ben “.
The first date always has a special magic. Getting to know someone for the first time, experiencing something more intensively together, and observing the other person – that is a moment that many will never forget.
So much is already being decided here. Do you have things in common, do you share a sense of humor, do you even have a starting point? Either something has been created here or it will probably be nothing.
The four moments of the first date
It’s not even about the fact that both know immediately that the first date will of course be followed by the second date. There are many that circle around each other for quite a while before it became more. But even with those, it would never have gotten this far without a good first date.
And that’s why most of them part with many feelings. There are four key situations:
The greeting
The first touch
The first joke
The farewell
The emotions on the first date are important
It’s certainly no big secret that the greeting is important. Unfortunately, the reason for this is quite unromantic: In a fraction of a second, your sense of smell will clarify whether you should get closer at all purely in terms of youngsters.
So if you ever wonder if you like to go too far too quickly on first dates, it’s nothing compared to your subconscious. And if you can’t smell each other, you can only hope that it will at least be a pleasant chat. But the spark is usually gone by then.
Therefore, the greeting is also quite crucial for all thoughts after the first date. Not unimportant is also how you touch each other for the first time. It doesn’t matter that much whether you and Ben just shook hands or went straight to hugging.
Maybe you’re more the open type or you already knew Ben a little anyway. The important thing is not how you touch, but where. So the first touch of our skin is another important exchange.
The largest body decides
After the chemistry, you can test each other here to see if you are healthy. So before you exchange the first words, your nose and your skin have clarified everything. We can’t put it down or overcome it either – it has to be right here!
That’s why we often hear people in love sing praises like ” She smelled so great ” or ” Her skin was so soft ” instead of ” And this one story from her elementary school – it clicked!” And if even married people find it difficult to name the color of their partner’s eyes, for example, then we have other priorities.
With one small caveat: the sense of humor. Someone like Ben rarely comes up with an East Frisian joke shortly after ordering a drink. The first date is often more about situational comedy or minor silliness. But even if it gets flat – your reaction is important here.
If, after smelling and feeling, you also find a wavelength with humor, then everything is already clarified for the first match date. Whether you get along with his weakness for guinea pigs or with your fondness for pathology exhibitions – you’ll just clarify that later.
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First impressions cannot be faked
That’s why it’s no use pretending. Because three things that you can hardly control are crucial: the smell, the touch, and the humor. So focus more on whether it sparks between you.
This often happens when saying goodbye. There could be entire books on the different forms of farewell. The only important thing is like a good film: If the ending doesn’t ignite, it leaves a stale aftertaste of everything before it.
How deeply you hug each other, whether you hug each other at all, and what you say is entirely up to you. There is no statement here as to whether you will see Ben again. Have the courage to do what is in your heart.
And of course, the first date can also end up in the box if you want it to. But that can mean that completely different instincts have taken over. But that would take us too far here.
A lot is decided after the first meeting
What does he think after the first date?
Things went very well for you, because you are now sitting on your couch and are still very excited about your first evening together with Ben.
If you’re now wondering what Ben thinks after your first date together, there are again different possibilities.
Most likely it falls into one of these 4 categories:
The Type “ Instant Love ”
The Didn’t Know Guy
The ” I’m Still Watching ” Guy
The ” I’m out ” guy
Let’s start at the back so that the saddest case is behind us.
Mr. ” I’m Out ”
There are dates when at least one side realizes quite quickly that it’s just not true – very often because of the physical reactions mentioned.
Now Ben was polite and made an effort to make the evening nice. That doesn’t mean he’ll have feelings for you, though. Here it will depend on how he reacts to you in the next few days.
If Ben is one of those people who are looking for an exit right after the first date, then it is usually very important to them to let you feel it. They are very interested in you not giving yourself unnecessary hope.
If Ben still means a lot to you, there’s nothing wrong with trying again. Not trying something is always worse than never knowing what might have been.
But the chance of a happy togetherness is extremely small – much smaller than meeting someone a few days later with whom it works much better.
Mr. ” I’m-still-looking ”
Very often, on the next first date, you may meet the ” I’m Still Looking ” type.
Ben likes to get tips from friends that he should always date several people at the same time. You’ve probably heard this saying before:
“ Other mothers also have beautiful daughters. ”
Of course, some men then take a multipronged approach in order not to miss an opportunity. Most likely, however, Ben is looking for protection, not to put everything on one card and possibly read too much into you.
This can even be to your advantage, as he isn’t desperately putting everything into a future with you. If he then thinks about you more often, he can be sure that he is interested in you.
At the same time, you will have to become a little more active. Drilling is allowed here. This makes it clear to you: Do you even want to take the next step with Ben?
Some men date a lot before committing
Mr. ” Didn’t Know ”
The following applies here: Please don’t give up right away.
Because it may well be that even Ben is the type who just doesn’t understand that there is something between you two. He doesn’t notice it either during or after the first date.
Perhaps our Ben has often misread signs and had false hopes and now he doesn’t know himself: ” Was there something? Should I try more? ”
Ben’s friend then says sentences like: ” You got along really well with the pretty girl from yesterday, didn’t you? ”
Only now will Ben realize there was something there. Especially when things are going quite naturally between you and the first evening feels like you’ve known each other forever, men like Ben like to be completely screwed.
Far too often, some women think at this point that the first date probably didn’t appeal to them. In this situation, he may simply not have been in reception.
Maybe he’s more engrossed in his work, maybe he’s plagued by family worries or he still has hopes in someone else.
No matter what clouds his senses, just because he doesn’t immediately realize there was something doesn’t mean he won’t notice it after a while. It is important for you, however, that it is not worth waiting for everyone to wait until the fine gentleman has had his antennae trimmed.
9 out of 10 women do not dare
to conquer her dream man.
Do you finally want to conquer your dream man?
Find out now in the free test,
how you can do it!
This test will show you how you can finally conquer the man of your dreams. With this unique test, we would like to allow you to get a grip on your challenges in the world of men. So take 1 minute and answer all 9 questions.
The results vary from person to person and you will be offered solutions that are perfectly tailored to you.
Mr. ” Instantly In Love ”
It’s also not uncommon for men like Ben to be blown away on a first date.
You are filled with these different emotions and feelings after the first date. From then on, they like to write messages almost every day, immediately push for the second date and already have two children with you in mind and discuss the color of the roof tiles of your house on Sylt.
This is of course not without risk for you. Because there can be many different motives here :
He is physically unstressed.
He’s very jumpy.
He doesn’t go on many dates.
The first motive is relatively obvious. There must be friends of Ben who would warn him not to go on a first date under physical pressure. But Ben still does it way too often. Distinguishing here where the interest in you comes from is not always clear to Ben. He probably won’t even think about sex on the first date. It is much more about physical closeness, affection, and spiritual exchange.
It can also happen very well that Ben falls in love with almost every woman. Maybe he’s just looking for security and that it somehow fits in with himself.
But be careful: he soon finds his new colleague at work just as great – and begins to falter.
Last but not least, it can be – also and especially with beautiful men – that Ben only very rarely goes on dates. Whether he’s only slightly interested or has a crush on him, Ben can’t tell the difference. First of all, he puts all his hopes in you and himself.
He wants a relationship immediately
Be curious about each other, and give each other space
Now ” your Ben ” will probably be more of a mix of the possibilities, more of one set, less of the other feature.
Your first date can provide a good foundation that you will remember for a long time. But not anymore. You should have developed a natural curiosity, but that doesn’t immediately mean sunset in the senior citizens’ home.
So, the second date should be a chance to get to know you and see if it was more than just a whim of the first night.
Until then, all you have to do is classify his actions on the first date. Also, observe what it does to you. And if in doubt, help a little if he is too much on the hose and give him space to react.
