We have two strong women, Hana (26) & Magdalena (25), asking us their different opinions on the topic “Is it okay to enter a with a forgiveness? “To betray. For many this topic is taboo, but read for yourself.
Hana , 26, could puke with reckless egocentricity and can live very well with being called conservative.
Is it okay to have with someone, even though you know that one has a girlfriend? Nope. Simply nope. Very clear announcement! It’s not okay, no matter how hard you try to make it so nice. There are always the same arguments: “But I do not know them,” you say? Irrelevant. You would not steal food from a foreign plate, just because you do not know who ordered it. “HE has the relationship, not ME. It’s not my responsibility, “are you talking to me? However, in the end, YOU are the cause of someone else’s misfortune, whether you feel responsible or not. That gives a very bad record on the Karma account.
Of course, it is a different matter if you first learn in retrospect that the guy was actually already taken. Because then, in fact, only one of them is reckless and selfish. But if you knowingly cuddle a person, go to bed, or even start a gospel, even though you know that person is forgiven, it shows quite a weakness in character. Just exchange the mental roles: At the latest when you are deceived yourself, you are not only angry at the partner, but also at the person with whom you were cheated.
At the latest then you wish that there are no such reckless people who simply ruin the relationship of a couple for a bit of fun. At the latest then you know what hard consequences an unreasonable, a One-Night-Stand or even an affair can have. How relaxed can you make out with a guy, knowing that he’ll lie down in bed with another one later, maybe even with your lipstick remnants on his face? One can still persuade oneself so much that it does not matter anyway – but the guilty conscience is a proverbial dog and will eventually start to gnaw.
Let’s face it: The guy is busy. Already licked by another. It’s not like there really is only one man in the world. You have a pretty considerable choice. It does not necessarily have to be the one who just cheats on his partner with relish. Apart from that, what signal does that send to the guy? That he can have any he wants, because he is such a great pike? That you can drive a beloved person with the A * sch in the face, because in the end anyway looks out with one of the two a happy ending? That you are only worth a slip-up? That you are not good enough for the main role, but like to appear as a sidekick?
No, my dear. Neither should you like that, nor should you expose another person to this disrespect. Because at the end of the day we should keep women together. We should support, strengthen, celebrate and respect each other. Because of the sisterhood, that’s what it was.
Magdalena , 25, is not a fan of social conventions – and certainly not of gender-specific rules of conduct.
Okay, okay. Before now the morale lobe is swung in my direction, let me make it clear: There comes now no “deliberately blow yourself to forgiven men ran to your relationship anxiety successfully cold!” – preaching. Not at all. There is also no eulogy for women who deliberately try to break open men to test their own attractiveness, that is supposed to happen. (Btw, Newsflash: Who defines his self-esteem over beauty, will always understand only as an objective gem – but that’s another topic.)
What I’m really talking about is the fact that even the behavior of a third person who is not involved in a relationship becomes the center of discussion. I can no longer hear it – or rather read it, because this phenomenon is most evident in headlines about celebrity break-ups, in which then the “lousy tour” of “dancers” or “sluts” is spread. The spotlight falls on the model, the dancer, the evil march-destroyer, while the husband and family man is often pitied that he is now sitting in a pile of shit. Even in real life it often leads to side jumps – we all know that from our environment or even from our own experience.
And this despite the fact that 87% of women between the ages of 25 and 40 state that they would never start with a forgiven man, according to a survey by market and opinion polling agency (conducted for Petra magazine). But it’s not about deliberately fishing for forgiven – not each inquires however before a common night (always) on the relationship status of the opposite. (Newsflash again: Who wants to cuddle, cheats on this question anyway.) And I also do not search the flirt’s phone for possible messages from.
If someone makes clear advances, can one assume that responsible persons know what they are doing or not? For me, those who live in a relationship are responsible for the same. No one else. Anyone who enters into a relationship determines the rules of the game together with the second (or more) part (s). Ideally, the participants act according to the same rules.
Anyone who cheats is morally reprehensible in this system. But a possible does not do that. You can not blame anyone for the behavior of other people – and quite honestly: Anyone who has decided with his partner for a monogamous relationship construct, does not want that the only because of that makes no nonsense, because someone else’s responsibility for his actions takes over. Or do you want a guy who is not so self-determined and does not have enough backbone to take his actions into his own hands, and instant forget everything around him just because a woman makes him look beautiful? Just.