I’ll be honest. There have been times when I’ve been so wrapped up in my head with work or school, that I pushed my relationship to the side. Of course, I love my partner, but life can be overwhelming and makes us forget what matters most. But there are healthier ways to know how to get more attention from your girlfriend and grow together as a couple.
How to get more attention from your girlfriend
School and work will always be there, but what’s most important are the people around us who we love and care for. And if you’re feeling that your girlfriend isn’t giving you enough attention, there are plenty of ways to let her know your needs aren’t being met.
In the movies, they always show the guy making small hints and gestures, but this isn’t a romantic comedy. If you truly have a genuine and healthy relationship with your girlfriend, tell her what’s going on and how you’re feeling.
So, here’s how to get more attention from your girlfriend without having to beat around the bush or get on your knees and beg. It should never have to come to that. Just remember, if you want more attention, you should make the first move.
Because everyone needs some attention from their partner.[Read: The psychology of ignoring someone – Why we do it and why it hurts]
#1 What is the relationship status? Sometimes we can get confused and think our relationship is something more than what it is. If the relationship is casual, then there’s no commitment from either person to heavily invest in the relationship.
But if you are in an agreed upon relationship, then the feeling of not receiving enough attention is understandable.
#2 What’s going on in her life? It could be she’s stressed out for a big exam coming up or that she’s having a hard time at work. It’s important to see what’s going on in her life right. It doesn’t excuse the fact you feel you’re not getting enough attention, but it helps narrow down why you’re not getting the attention you once received.
#3 Check in with her. How is she feeling? Are you the only one who’s feeling as though they’re not getting enough attention, or does she also notice that she has been neglecting that part of the relationship?
If she’s aware, then you can talk about it and make a plan on how you two will work together to spend more quality with each other. [Read: 20 signs you’re wasting time in a one sided relationship]
#4 Communicate! When it comes to receiving attention, you’re not going to get what you want unless you talk about it with your girlfriend. Sit down with her and tell her how you feel and what you need. We all have needs, and yours is not being met. But, nothing will change unless you sit down and express your feelings to her.
#5 She may not be able to give you more. There’s one thing you need to understand; she may want to give you more attention but is unable to. If she’s going to school and working, there may not be enough time to physically see you when you want. Along with expressing your feelings, she needs to be honest with you and tell you if she can meet your needs. [Read: Want to date a busy, busy girl? Here’s what you need to know]
#6 Make weekly goals. If you have agreed upon spending more time together, then work out a plan to actually make that happen. Maybe reserve every Friday night as a date night for the both of you. Or spend five minutes every night having a video call with each other before going to bed. You don’t need to make huge changes; small ones do wonders.
#7 Think small. I know the phrase is usually ‘think big,’ but in this case, you should think small. Your goals shouldn’t be to see each other for five hours every day. The odds are that’s not possible. But make small and achievable goals that you both agree to and actually follow through on. [Read: How much time should couples spend together to actually be happy?]
#8 Lead by example. If you want her to surprise you every now and then, lead by example. Surprise her first, so she can understand the feelings and emotions you get from these kind gestures. Sometimes we’re not fully connected to the moment.
#9 Why do you need more attention? You need to think about yourself as well. Perhaps she’s giving you the amount of attention you’ve always received, but you’re going through a hard time and need more. It’s important to look at why you want more attention from your girlfriend. Maybe you’ll be able to receive attention from other people in your life like friends and family. [Read: How to stop feeling ignored by the one you love]
#10 Don’t hold your feelings in. Whatever you do, express yourself to her. Do not hold your feelings inside of you because they will come out eventually, and it won’t be pretty. Make sure you’re constantly communicating how you feel; that way, you don’t bottle your feelings up and explode. That’s never a good situation. [Read: Emotional wellness and how to live your life with intention]
#11 Continue living your life. While you’re working on this issue with your girlfriend, it’s important to continue living your life. Go hang out with friends, see your family, and continue with your hobbies. Don’t let this prevent you from doing the things you love. Show her that you won’t let this come in between you and the other people and hobbies you have in your life.