The early part of a relationship, even before it reaches relationship stage, is full of giddy smiles, laughing, and butterflies in the stomach. You’re chatting all the time, you feel like you’re walking on air, he’s lavishing attention on you, and you can’t help but feel like the chosen one. But then it stops! What should you do when a guy stops texting you every day?
Communication is sporadic, and he stops texting you in the predictable pattern you got used to. You panic—has he found someone else?
Calm down, it’s probably not as bad as you think. In fact, he could just be feeling a little like he’s doing all the hard work.
You see, in the early stages of any crush or budding relationship, a guy is on his best behavior. He’ll text you good morning when you wake up, he’ll text you randomly throughout the day to ask how you are, he might even tell you he misses you, and he’ll text you at night to say sleep tight. It’s cute, it’s predictable, and it feels great.[Read: The pissed off girl’s guide to when a guy stops texting you]
You might even expect the texts to come at a certain time. When they don’t run to the same schedule, when a guy stops texting you every day, it feels like you’ve suddenly been cut off. You were feeding off his constant attention. Now, he’s AWOL.
What to do when a guy stops texting you every day
First, ask yourself if you’ve slacked here. Nobody likes to feel like they’re the first one to text all the time, so it could be that you’ve become complacent. It happens. Perhaps you got so used to his texts that you don’t feel like you need to do any of the work, because he’ll text you at a specific time of day anyway. [Read: Are you taking him for granted? The checklist to know for sure]
Can you blame him for getting a little fed up of doing the hard work? Sure, most guys like to do the chasing, but it’s nice to be chased occasionally too!
So, what should you do when a guy stops texting you every day, and you’re pretty sure it’s because he thinks you’re not so bothered about doing any of the work? Send him a quick text, but make it fun and flirty. How about a funny meme you’ve seen or just send him a cheeky, miss you text. That might be enough to get everything back on track.[Read: 30 flirty text messages to leave a guy craving more]
He might be testing you
He’s checking to see whether you like him as much as he likes you, or he’s checking to see whether his flirty routine has been working or not. If you don’t reply, he’ll assume that you’re not interested. He could leave it quiet for a few days, then start with the constant texting again.
Most guys don’t like it when someone they’ve been texting goes quiet, just as much as you don’t. But, in some ways, it’s a game. [Read: Does he want YOU to chase him now? How to know for sure]
He puts in the effort for a while, gets you hooked, then waits. It’s like cat and mouse. He expects you to put in the work now and do the chasing. It’s likely that positions will be reversed. He won’t text first for a long time. Now, you’ll have to do it. He’ll probably be quite normal when he replies. But he’s not lavishing you with the attention you got used to before. You’ll be confused, that’s for sure.
Be careful here. One wrong move, you may be trapped in a pretty uneven relationship.
While very common and mostly harmless, it’s also power play. He wants you to be the one waiting for him to text, to be hanging off his every word. That’s not where you should be, and certainly not what a relationship is about. [Read: 22 early warning signs of a potential bad boyfriend]
When a guy stops texting you every day, you start sending texts first and you get normal replies, what should you do? As much as I hate games, I say you should play him at his own game. If he carries on doing this for a while, reversing your roles from before, play it cool. Don’t text first for a while. See what happens.
It might sound ridiculous, but relationships are two way things. And it shouldn’t be that one person has more control than the other. Sure, it happens, but it’s not something you should invite into a relationship, especially when you’re at this fun and flirty stage. The relationship hasn’t even been established yet! [Read: How to get a guy to stop playing with your feelings]
Of course, we also should explore the option that when guy stops texting you every day, it’s because he’s not interested anymore or he’s found someone else.
Text him once, and see what happens. If he replies and he’s chatty, perhaps he’s just been busy. See how things go from there. If he replies and he’s cold, leave him for a while and observe. Of course, if you text and don’t get any reply, do not send another text under any circumstances! [Read: 20 clear signs you’re on the verge of being ghosted!]
You’ll be tempted, oh-so-tempted, but if he was all hot and then suddenly freezing cold, there’s a reason for it. Sure, he might have lost his phone, he might be in hospital with a broken leg, or he might have accidentally deleted all his contacts. These are pretty rare occurrences. If one of these was to have happened *hopefully not the broken leg one!*, then you’ll find out about it pretty soon anyway.
If he’s that interested and was texting you every day and something like this did happen, he would find a way to get back in touch and grovel for his radio silence. [Read: Blowing hot and cold – The 3 stages to explain why someone does this]
A game of cat and mouse
When a guy stops texting you every day, it doesn’t have to be the kiss of death for your budding relationship. It might be that he’s feeling like he’s doing all the work and feeling a little unappreciated. But there are guys out there who adore the chase. Then, when things get a little too close to something like a relationship being formed, they freak out and run away.
If that’s what’s happening, consider it a narrow escape. Guys with commitment issues at this early stage aren’t exactly long term future material.[Read: Is he a commitment phobe? How to tell for sure]
The problem with this early stage is that everything is so confusing and up in the air. You don’t really know each other that well, and nothing is official. Sure, there is basic human decency to take into account. But, what exactly are the rules? Nobody knows!
It’s the most confusing game of cat and mouse known to man. It’s why those butterflies are constantly in your stomach at this time. And it’s nerves as much as excitement! [Read: 13 rules you need to follow when a guy stops texting you]
If a guy stops texting you and you get strange replies, or something just doesn’t seem quite right to you, wait a while. Fill your days with fun. Spend time with your family and friends. Go out and forget about it. The likelihood is that he will either come to his senses and realize that his games aren’t a good idea, or you’ll meet someone else and forget about him anyway.