Not everyone gets to live their life with the warm fuzzy feelings of being loved. Instead, some say, I just want to be loved. Here’s why.

We can’t all spend our days feeling loved by everyone and everything we come into contact with. In fact, it’s pretty normal to not feel loved every now and then. But if you’re frequently thinking or even saying, “I just want to be loved,” then there may be more to your situation than meets the eye.

Being unloved isn’t an uncommon occurrence. I think all of us think we’re unloved with hope of being loved when we’ve just gone through a rough breakup or after watching a particularly romantic movie. The problem starts when we feel hopeless about love all the time.

Why is feeling loved so great?

You may think there isn’t anything THAT great about being loved. After all, it’s just another emotion for you to live without, right? Wrong. Being loved feels so amazing because it’s such a powerful feeling that drives us, as humans, to exist.

Our innate desire is to find others to love us and to be accepted. That’s why feeling loved just so great. It’s in our DNA to want to be loved in order for our species to survive. The trouble with this is that when you don’t feel it, it affects you more than any other feeling. [Read: 15 ways you’ll experience what love really feels like]

The unlikely reasons for feeling like you just want to be loved

There may be more to the fact that you don’t feel loved other than people not loving you. That’s usually not actually the case. Everyone wants to be loved. But some people want it for different reasons.

If you frequently find yourself thinking and saying, “I just want to be loved,” then you may be doing so because of some unlikely reasons. These are some of the reasons you may not feel loved even though you really are.

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#1 You’re depressed. Depression is a very serious problem that many, many people suffer with daily. It’s not just sadness. It’s a feeling of hopelessness, despair, and loneliness you just can’t seem to shake.

You may feel unloved and like you don’t even want to step foot out of bed that day. If you suddenly feel this way, coupled with your feelings of just wanting to be loved, you could be suffering from depression and not even realize it. [Read: How to stop overthinking: 11 strategies for more peace]

#2 Your expectations are too high. Some people don’t realize they’re expecting far too much out of life and the feeling of being loved. You may be setting your expectations way too high. It leaves you feeling like you’re unloved even when you’re not.

Put yourself into a realistic mindset when it comes to feeling loved. You can’t expect that the feeling of someone else loving you is going to suddenly solve all your problems. If you have a habit of saying, “I just want to be loved,” all the time, this may be your problem. [Read: 14 unrealistic expectations that can ruin your love life]

#3 You just went through a breakup. It’s really normal to feel like you’re not loved when coming out of a relationship. You may even find you feel like you’ll never be loved again if it was an especially bad breakup.

If you’ve just been through a situation where one person stopped feeling love for you, you may feel as though everyone in your life stopped loving you. It makes you desperate enough to say something like, “I just want to be loved.”

#4 You’re lonely. If you’re single and have been for a while now, you may start thinking that you’re unloved and that you just really want to be loved. If you haven’t felt romantic love in a long time it’s easier to start saying this over and over again.

If you’re lonely or live alone and spend most of your time away from other people, you probably feel like you just want to be loved. When you don’t spend time with those that actually do love you, it’s easier to forget that they actually do. [Read: I feel lonely: 30 ways to overcome feelings of loneliness]

#5 Your friends are busy with their life. Everyone has a life and some of your friends may be busier with theirs than you are with yours. This leaves you feeling left out, lonely, and you may even miss having them around.

You feel as though your friends are so invested in their own lives that they don’t have time for you. Understand that just because someone is busy doesn’t mean they don’t love and care about you anymore.

#6 You’ve watched way too many romantic movies or shows. This is one of the main reasons you may be feeling so desperate to be loved. If you’re lonely, bored, and have been watching a LOT of romantic movies that grip your chest in desperation, then that’s why you feel unloved.

These movies are made for you to wish for that love in your life, but it’s not realistic. If you keep focusing on wanting the love that’s in a movie, you’ll never be satisfied with the love you do have in your life. [Read: 8 famous movies that teach bad lessons about love]

#7 You don’t have anyone that’s really close to you. If you’re only okay friends with the people in your life, you could be feeling unloved. There’s a certain feeling of being really connected with someone in a close manner—even if it’s just friendship—that makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

If you don’t feel this, it could be because you haven’t found that friend you can open up to. You may not have anyone to be intimate with in an emotional way. That could make you feel like you’re missing something in your life.

#8 You’re spending too much time with unloving people. Are you surrounding yourself with people that care about you and are actually vocal about that or do you spend your time with those that aren’t very kind and loving toward you? [Read: How to recognize and stop selfish people from hurting you]

The people you spend the majority of your time with have the ability to shape the way you feel about yourself. If you’re spending time with the wrong people you feel less than loved. It keeps you craving that love.

#9 You don’t love yourself. If you don’t have love for yourself, you’re going to feel like you’re missing something huge in your life. This has you trying to fill that void with love from other people. Leaving you always saying, “I just want to be loved.” First, love yourself. [Read: How to stop loving someone else… And love yourself more]

#10 You’re jealous of someone else’s love. If all you do is pay attention to the way someone else is receiving love, it’s going to make you think you don’t have “proper” love. You may be obsessed with a certain couple on social media, and it blinds you to the love you actually receive. This makes you feel like you just want to be loved, even though you are.

 

Everyone feels like they’re not loved at times, but if you have a habit of saying, I just want to be loved, all the time, you may have a few problems. These are the unlikely reasons you may be feeling this way.

 

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