Why your man is withdrawing and pulling away from the relationship?
“Distance simply means separation in place but never in connections. Heart remains inseparable.” – DhelChen
Just when you thought your relationship was moving to the next stage, your boyfriend starts pulling away from you. You keep scratching your head but you can’t understand why. Did you do something wrong? Has he stopped loving you? Why is he withdrawing into himself when he seemed so interested? You were pretty sure you two had a real connection. Then why is he backing off suddenly?
So why does a man pull away even if things are going great in a relationship?
There are a number of reasons why your man may be withdrawing to himself. And no, it’s not necessarily because he is losing interest in you. So if you want to know why a man would pull away just when things are getting serious, then keep reading as we try to dig deep into this problem and understand what exactly is going on.
Is your man withdrawing? Here’s how to explain his behavior.
“Assumptions are the termites of relationships.” – Henry Winkler
Any woman who’s actively following dating advice and is putting themselves out there will at some point deal with a man who is growing distant. It may be confusing trying to determine while men pull away, but it usually doesn’t have anything to do with you.
If you notice that a previously attentive man is showing signs of fleeing, one of these things is likely going on. And before you move your relationship forward, it’s important to consider if these are roadblocks you can overcome.
5 Real Reasons Your Man Is Withdrawing
1. He’s just not ready.
You may have been communicating effectively that you’re playing for keeps (and if so, great job!), but this has him exiting stage left because he’s not ready for the commitment.
2. He’s scared to take the next step.
“Sometimes you have to be apart from the people you love, but that doesn’t make you love them any less. Sometimes you love them more.” – Nicholas Sparks
One of the men’s primary fears is the loss of freedom. He may be evaluating whether or not what he will gain by having you in his life is worth the inevitable loss of his sexual freedom, financial freedom or time.
3. You’re experiencing “man time.”
When a man gets involved in anything that consumes his attention (work, sports, hobbies, to name a few), he loses track of time. When he finally realizes how much time has passed, he may be too afraid to call you and risk having to face how angry you may be.
4. He thinks you’ve changed.
You’re not being the same gal he started with. Instead of being easy-going, fun and clearly appreciating who he is, maybe he’s getting a taste of another side of you — someone who is hard to please, insecure, needy or just not fun anymore.
5. You’re not the one for him (or he’s not the one for you).
You may feel disappointed by this realization at first, but in the end, it’s for your benefit. If this is the case, sooner or later that the relationship is going to end.
So, how can you tell which one of these is the cause of him being distant?
Follow your instincts
“If a relationship is to evolve, it must go through a series of endings.” – Lisa Moriyama
Listen to your gut. If you’re dealing with a man who needs some space, you’ve got to give it to him or risk losing him for good.
Too many women rob themselves from knowing their man wanted to be there by allowing personal fears to control what he did. How many women do you know who orchestrated their whole engagement? Plenty!
On the other hand, if you have a man who won’t give you what you need, the best thing you can do is let him go. Don’t be a woman who regrets how much time she spent in a relationship that didn’t go where you wanted it to.
Of course, if you are the reason he’s hitting the road, get whatever help you need to get yourself together. It’s okay to be scared and insecure because we all get that way sometimes, but make sure you are not letting yourself act out from that place.
What you need to do now
“No relationship is perfect, ever. There are always some ways you have to bend, to compromise, to give something up in order to gain something greater.” – Sarah Dessen
It can be a horrible feeling when your man starts to withdraw into himself. It can feel like a rejection and you may feel insecure about your relationship. But you need to understand that your man is simply trying to process and sort through his own emotions and thoughts. The best way to deal with a difficult situation like this is to give him all the space he needs. Yes, it will be very difficult, but this is the only option you have. Give him the space to be himself. Let him work through his things and come back to you. You should also use this time to focus on your self growth and learn to be more open and accepting in a relationship as the dynamics keep changing constantly.
But giving space doesn’t mean going no contact. You can still continue to contact him and meet him. However, you need to be respectful and do this the way he needs to at this time. You have to respect his need to be by himself. This will show him that you care about him without being needy or demanding.