When you’ve been together long enough, it can be hard to determine if your relationship is healthy. Here’s how to know if your relationship is toxic.
Toxic relationships will forever be harmful. It’s never okay to be with someone who adds so much negativity to your life. But it’s also hard to tell if you’re in an unhealthy relationship or if you’ve just settled into a comfortable routine. You’ll have to learn how to know if your relationship is toxic to figure that out.
But it’s still not all that easy. Our perception of those we love tends to be a little clouded. Therefore, it can be hard to admit when you’re actually being treated poorly. You may try to justify their behavior because they’re your lover.
Ditching negative people in your life can majorly change it
It’s not easy cutting people out of your life. I’ve been there and I know the struggles. You put so much into their friendship and then you have to cut them loose. It doesn’t seem fair sometimes.
However, if they’re just bringing you down, it’s really a no-brainer. You need to get rid of them. It’ll make your life a lot more positive and it’ll be way more fun. You’ll also find it a lot easier to succeed and live the life you truly want. Never allow negativity to take over. [Read: 12 ways to stop negative people from sapping your energy]
How to know if your relationship is toxic and you should end it
There should be no room for toxic people in your life. Ever. That negativity will have long-lasting effects that can make your life and future relationships so much harder. Here’s how to know if your relationship is toxic and if you should be calling it quits.
#1 You’re irritated around them. If you walk into a room and are pretty much immediately annoyed simply because they’re there, it’s a bad sign. Your energy becomes toxic and harmful just being around them. That’s a huge sign you need to get out. [Read: 16 signs it’s time to move on and end the relationship]
#2 You find your patience wears very thin whenever they’re near. AKA, anything they do sets you off. It can be nothing significant at all and you’re just sick of them. They could put their dishes in the sink without rinsing them or something else that’s usually pretty harmless to anyone else.
#3 They insult you. Obviously, insults are bad. They make you upset and bring down your self-esteem significantly. They’re even worse coming from someone who claims to care about you. If they put you down all the time, it’s time to leave.
#4 They make you feel stupid. This is a really, really bad sign that you’re in a toxic relationship. Condescending comments and remarks should never be tolerated. Learning how to know if your relationship is toxic is being able to take a step back and ask how you’d react if they made that comment to your friend. If it’s bad, then you know it’s time to call it quits. [Read: 18 emotions you shouldn’t feel in a healthy relationship]
#5 They poke fun at your hobbies and interests. These things mean a lot to you. They’re everything to you, really. If your partner doesn’t think they’re important and actually makes fun of you for them, it’s time to bounce. They’re not good for you.
#6 Your friends mention your sour attitude. If even your friends can notice something’s wrong, the toxicity is so bad that’s it’s affecting your relationship, too. Time to jump ship and get out before you damage yourself for good. Listen to your friends. They’re trying to help you.
#7 They don’t support your goals. What’s the point of being with someone who never wants to see you succeed? If they’re not cheering you on and supporting your goals, it’s a toxic relationship. They may not try to stop you from achieving them but not supporting you can be just as harmful. [Read: 10 signs your partner is truly supportive of your goals]
#8 You look forward to time away from them. This should be the exact opposite with your significant other. You should want to spend time with them always. If not, it’s an issue. Take a step back and ask yourself why you want to be away from them. More likely than not, you’ll figure out that it’s because they’re causing too much negativity in your life.
#9 You don’t spend intimate time together. Meaning, you never go on dates or enjoy each other’s company. Most likely, you sit on opposite ends of the couch while you scroll on your phone or watch a movie. That’s not quality time. The reason for this is probably because you know you’ll end up fighting if you spend too much time together. [Read: Spend quality time together and 14 other tips to fix a broken relationship]
#10 Jealousy is a big issue. Of course, jealousy is normal sometimes. When you care about someone, you get upset when you think they may want someone else. The point is, if jealousy becomes a big issue and you’re restricted from seeing certain people or doing certain things, it’s toxic.
#11 You always accuse each other of things. Another way to learn how to know if your relationship is toxic is if you play the blame game. Pointing fingers at each other for every little issue in your relationship won’t help anyone. You need to sit down and talk it out. If you can’t effectively communicate, your relationship won’t get far.
#12 You have arguments daily. And these arguments are usually completely pointless. You get so mad at them for leaving the toilet seat up that you have a huge blowout fight over it. The fights are also not productive at all. You don’t come to any conclusions and you both leave unsatisfied and pissed off. [Read: How to fight fair in a relationship and grow closer]
#13 You feel the need to avoid them at all costs. This should never happen. You should never, ever feel like you want to avoid your partner. They should make your life better. You should want to be around them all the time. If you don’t, then it’s probably because they make you feel mad and negative.
#14 You don’t do nice things for each other. You both always need to be showing each other how much you care. When you stop doing this, resentment starts to build. This toxic emotion can turn even the healthiest of relationships into something horrible and unhealthy. [Read: 25 ways to make your lover feel appreciated and cared for]
#15 You don’t even know why you’re together. If you question why you’re even with someone, then you probably shouldn’t be. Having a relationship so toxic that you can’t even see why you like the other person isn’t healthy for either of you. Get out now before things get so bad you can’t fix them for yourself.
Now you’re aware of how to know if your relationship is toxic and that you should get out. Never allow someone to bring down your mood and life daily. Get out while you can and find someone who makes your life better.