There is no magic litmus test that answers the question, do I love her? But, there are some signals that tell you that you don’t want to live without her.
Ah, love is a mysterious thing, romantically speaking. It is also a frustrating, angering, exciting, confusing, mind-blowing, and sometimes scary thing. There is puppy love, infatuation, lust, and real love. Sometimes it all feels the same and leads you to ask yourself, do I love her?
There is no clear litmus test to love. With so much gray area, it is difficult to figure out if she is the one for you or the one for this week. Love isn’t just about wanting to rip a girl’s clothes off, although that definitely has to be a part of it. It is about wanting to spend the rest of your life making the rest of her life amazing.
25 signs that might answer, do I love her?
When a man is in love, he moves mountains to make his woman happy, puts himself in front of a bullet to save her, and defend her to his very last breath. Although dramatic sounding, that is truly what being in love is about. These 25 signs might answer your question, do I love her?
#1 When something good happens you can’t wait to tell her. Being in love means that she means the world to you. If you burst at the seams to tell your girl all the good things that come your way before anyone else, that is a good sign you love her. [Read: Have you been hit by cupid’s arrow already?]
#2 When something bad happens you can’t wait to tell her. Even more critical, she becomes your emergency call. Plus, you have a bat signal you want to throw up to have her at your side during the super bad stuff, then that is a sign of trust and support, which equals love. The first person you think of when the shit hits the fan is the person you trust to love you unconditionally.
#3 When someone says something unfavorable about her you want to punch them. Even if you say she is being a bitch, someone else best not. If you are in love with someone, you can say negative things about them, but if someone else does, then it is feuding words!
When you love someone, you see their bad side, but you don’t want anyone else to. [Read: 80 questions to ask before getting serious with her]
#4 When you think of your future goals they all include making her life complete. If you are okay with sacrificing those things you wanted to get for what you really want, her, it’s one of the biggest signs of love. When in love, it isn’t sacrifice to give things up. It is giving of yourself to gain something so much more beautiful back, her.
#5 You think about what your kids would be like. If you see qualities in her and think, “Man, I think our kids are going to be awesome if they inherit that.” It is likely you have been hit by cupid’s arrow. We find things in the people we love that we want to carry on and be a part of for an eternity.
#6 You think about having kids. The fact that you even think about kids or kids with her, might be a sign that she’s stolen your heart.
#7 You really care about what she thinks of you. We all care about what people think of us at times. But, if the smallest criticism from her sends you reeling and rethinking who you are and makes you want to change, then there is a good possibility you love her.
#8 You feel horrible when she is upset with you. Even if you haven’t done anything wrong, or it isn’t about you. If she is upset with you, you take great pains to make it all okay. Sometimes that even means saying “I’m sorry.” Yep, I know guys it is true, you might just say it. [Read: Sweet ways to genuinely say “I’m sorry“]
#9 You think about ways to make her happy. If you find yourself daydreaming about how to bring out her smile, then that might signal that you care more about her than you do yourself.
#10 You find yourself daydreaming about her smile. If you can’t get anything done without her face having a magic glow around it, then you are probably smitten.
#11 When she hurts, you hurt. If a coworker makes her cry or hurts her feelings and you feel like going into her work and busting shit up, that means you feel protective over her. Protection is a component of loving someone.
#12 You care about what her family thinks. If you shower and clean yourself up just to meet some distant cousin, then you have been bitten by the love bug. [Read: How to tell if there is serious chemistry between two people]
#13 You want to get to know her family. The fact that you aren’t running for the hills or not wanting to get involved is a huge red flag that she stole your heart.
#14 You make decisions about your future based on her. Where you live, your career moves, and your house buying are based on what she wants and needs.
#15 You buy a dog together… or any other “critter.” If you are okay with tying yourself to her with an animate object of any kind that has to be split if you do, you are in it for the long haul. An animal of any kind means you feel a commitment to stay together, usually driven by feelings of love.
#16 You know the crazy and are okay with it. Any guy looks past a hot girl’s crazy for a while. But, you have been the recipient of the demons and are still okay with building a world around her. You are in love, there is NO question. [Read: The 3 month milestone – Time to get real and let the crazy out]
#17 When she needs you, there isn’t anything you wouldn’t do to be there for her. Move mountains, take out the biggest guy ever, or tell your mom to back off. Those are all things that say, “I care more about you than I do about myself,” which is the definition of love.
#18 You’re almost scared you love her too much, more so than returned. If you find you feel vulnerable and often worry that you care more about her than she does you, that is something called fear of rejection.
The truth is if you have nothing, you have nothing to lose. Love makes you feel like you have everything to lose. Hence, the fear you feel.
#19 You get a feeling in the pit of your stomach even though you’ve been together for a long time. If you still have that feeling of lust and butterflies long after the lust phase is over, then the answer to, do I love her, is yes. Love may switch from one kind to another, but if you are truly “in love,” you go back and forth. You still find yourself thinking she is amazing and beautiful.
#20 She has the ability to make everything okay. If she takes dark and stormy skies and makes the sky blue, then that is the person that you should hold onto. Make every moment of your time together amazing. It is love. [Read: 25 reasons to love someone and hold onto them forever]
#21 You enjoy just watching her sleep in the morning. People aren’t always pretty when they sleep. But, if you watch her snore and drool and still think she is spectacular, then, my friend, that is love!
#22 You catch yourself watching her when you are out and think about how lucky you are. If you find yourself in the midst of a party looking around for her just to get a glimpse of her beautiful face, then you are probably in love. It just is what it is.
#23 Even when being nasty and mean you can’t imagine your life without her. Even as she is being a bitch, screaming at you, or being downright ugly, you want to take her in your arms. Love allows you to gloss over the not-so-lovely.
#24 The thought of losing her makes your mind go numb. If you can’t even fathom what it would feel to lose her, then you are in love. [Read: 15 traits that set selfless love apart from selfish love]
#25 WWSD. Instead of thinking “What would Jesus do” you think “What would she do” because you respect her opinion that much.
There is no magic sign that screams “I love this woman” when you date a girl. Sometimes you have stars in your eyes from the get go. You know that she is the woman of your dreams. Being the woman of your dreams, however, is different from love. If you want to know do I love her, these are some pretty good symptoms that you should experience.
In the end, a man who is in love with a woman, can’t do without her even if he insists he can. If a girl tames your untamed heart, then it makes no difference what you want to label it. Hold onto her until you can’t hold anymore.
Do I love her? Well, love is a fleeting and miraculous thing. Hopefully, it only comes once in a lifetime and stays for a lifetime.