Strings? Who likes string anyways? If you’re looking to have some non-committal fun, well, then maybe a NSA relationship *no strings attached* is for you.
Leave your emotions at the door and get yourself some fun under the sheets! An NSA relationship is all about sex and everything else but feelings. Sounds great, right?
How to make a no strings attached relationship work
And then you remember you’re human and those emotions cannot be controlled. I sound bitter already. But, seriously, no strings attached relationships can work out! But only if you follow these golden rules.
#1 Make sure you’re emotionally ready. Do not go into a no strings attached relationship if you’re having problems getting over your ex or you had previous feelings for your NSA relationship partner. It’s going to be a mess.
Wait, I correct myself, your partner will be fine, it’s actually you that’ll be a mess. So, before you get yourself into some emotional cobweb, really think about it. Are you ready? [Read: Sleeping with a friend: A no-regrets guide to doing it right]
#2 Don’t pick someone who’s your friend. Yeah, we’ve all seen the movie No Strings Attached. Sure, it ended well for Natalie Portman and Ashton Kutcher, but this isn’t a movie. The odds of your nSA relationship working out aren’t in your favor. If you already have a relationship with your NSA partner, it’s much easier to become emotionally involved because you already are.
Now, you don’t have to pick someone off of the street, but perhaps a friend of a friend of a friend? Someone in one of your classes? The bottom line is: don’t poop where you eat.
#3 Cut the relationship the minute you get emotionally attached. This one is going to be really hard, but you need to make a promise to yourself that if you start developing feelings, you’ll stop the NSA relationship. Tell your partner you’re developing feelings so they’ll understand why you’re ending it.
I don’t know why I’m even putting this rule in here, you’re not going to follow it, but you should. Please! Save yourself! [Read: 25 friends with benefits rules to remember]
#4 Rubber up. You should know this already, but please use a condom. Having a child with your NSA partner isn’t going to work out well for the both of you. They wanted an NSA relationship for a reason—no emotions or commitment.
And now, there is a baby—what a switch, eh? Don’t take the risk, have a child with someone who loves you. It’s that simple. [Read: How to have safe sex in every single way it is possible to]
#5 Keep those expectations nice and low. This isn’t a real relationship. It’s a relationship but not one where people want to invest their emotions in. So, don’t expect them to text you during the day, make small talk, or to buy flowers for Valentine’s Day.
They’re just in it for sex, so just expect that. Expect them to text you at night and expect those texts to revolve around one thing: sex.
#6 Set some boundaries. You need to set boundaries right in the beginning of the relationship. Boundaries create a protective barrier for your emotions. They can be anything. For example, no texting each other unless it’s for sex or the minute you have feelings, you have to end it. These are boundaries crucial for protecting yourself.
#7 Be selfish with your sexual needs. You’re not dating this person, and who knows how long this will last, so take advantage of it. If you want them to eat you, get them to eat you. Don’t feel bad, don’t feel like you need to pay them back. Screw it, this is your time. If this was a committed relationship, well, that’s different, but it’s not, so, don’t worry. [Read: Casual sex: How to find the hookup of your dreams]
#8 Explore your sexual limits. Do the things you were too scared to do before. Have a threesome, try anal sex, use sex toys—why not? Why not explore your sexuality with someone you don’t have to commit to? Plus, you can have all those awkward moments with them so that you won’t have it with someone you like.
#9 Don’t hang out after. No sleeping over unless you’re physically unable to move. You don’t need to wake up beside them in the morning, that’s not going to help anyone. Once you’re done, you get your clothes on and leave. Cuddling is not necessary. Once you cuddle, you start talking, and that’s when it all goes downhill. You have a bed at home, go sleep on that.
#10 Have a backup plan. What if you do develop feelings for them? What then? Okay, first of all, go back to rule three, but also have a backup plan. Have a plan of how you’re going to talk to them and end it, and the steps you’re going to take to move on from your NSA relationship. It’s needed.
In addition, if you have a backup plan, then you’re emotionally preparing yourself which is essential for you in moving on. [Read: Friends with benefits: 16 annoyances of long-term FWB’s]
#11 Stay away from their friends and family. Don’t meet their friends, and definitely do not meet their family. There’s no need. Once you meet their family and friends, you’ll start seeing how great of a person they are, and then your mind goes down a dangerous road. The road of no return. So, instead, just see them when you need to—that’ll be for sex. And only sex.
#12 Keep your secrets to yourself. They’re called secrets for a reason, right? So, don’t start opening up to them. They’re not the person you should be talking to. Not because they’re stupid or an asshole, but because you’re only sleeping with them. Once you open up, you cross a personal boundary. [Read: 12 booty call moves that may seem like true love]
#13 Say no. Listen, if you don’t want to do something, say no. You’re not obligated to and they’re really nothing to you. Even if they were your partner, you can always say no. If you’re not in the mood and they ask to hang out, say no.
They won’t stop sleeping with you because you’re not in the mood. And if they do, well, they’re an idiot. If you don’t feel like it, you don’t have to do it.
#14 Don’t become territorial. If you see your NSA walking down the street with another person, you can’t be upset. Sure, you may be slightly jealous, but wash that off. You’re in a no strings attached relationship, they’re free to be with whoever they want and so are you. So, if you’re not liking the arrangement, then change it. You have the power. [Read: 11 delightful things I learned from No Strings Attached]
#15 Be social media conscious. If you are friends on Facebook, make sure you are careful with what you’re posting. Scratch that, post whatever you want, but you should limit their access with what they can see. They don’t need to know your entire world and you don’t need to know theirs. Remember: keep it in the bedroom.
If you’re thinking about a NSA relationship, make sure you follow these ground rules. If you do, you’ll be able to have fun without getting hurt.