Are those really butterflies or are you just hungry? So are you in love, or are you just confused about your feelings? Don’t worry, we’ll help you.
Oh, love, what a strange thing! We spend most of our lives looking for it and when we have it, there’s always a bunch of questions that pop up. Am I ready? Do they really love me? Are you in love for real? Do I see them in my future?
The list goes on and on. Yet, we want this agony! We long to go through these personal dilemmas in the name of love. So, how do you know you’re actually in love, though?
Are you in love? 13 answers to your question
There have been many times where I thought I was in love, but I simply liked the idea of that person. I liked the idea of falling in love with someone I met at a music festival or dating someone who met me under a tree in the pouring rain. But was that true love? I don’t think so.
If you find yourself wondering, are you in love, it’s a good question to ask. Because love isn’t an easy emotion to deal with. And you thought love was hard—this is only the beginning. Here are a few more things you need to ask yourself now.
#1 You think this person is different from the rest. To you, this person is literally the best thing walking this earth. You don’t see anyone else aside from your partner. This is a feeling strongly correlated to being in love. If you don’t see anyone else with romantic eyes, perhaps you caught the love bug. [Read: The 12 real signs of true love in a relationship]
#2 You only see the positive. Do they have any flaws? Trust me, they do. Right now, you only look at their beautiful qualities. When you’re in love, you tend to overlook negative attributes of people, focusing on only the good. Which is beautiful, I mean, it fades with time. When you think about them, you’re smiling, daydreaming of seeing them again. [Read: 9 new relationships tips to avoid the common mistakes new lovers make]
#3 You’re unstable, emotionally. Listen, love isn’t all puppies and rainbows. You probably think you’re losing your mind, almost like being drunk. You hit both sides of the spectrum: joy, giddiness, exhilaration. But then, something small happens, you feel extreme anxiety and sadness.
#4 This person is always on your mind. You eat, sleep, and work with them floating around in your head. This is called intrusive thinking and is actually a form of obsessive behavior, believe it or not. Now, this behavior could be an issue if you find yourself unable to redirect yourself from obsessive thoughts.
#5 You spend most of your time with them. When we’re in love, we invest all of our time being next to the person. You find yourself spending more time with them, distancing yourself from your friends. In the beginning, this is somewhat normal. People always joke around about having their friends stolen by their girlfriends/boyfriends, because it’s true. [Read: 19 sure signs of falling in love you just can’t ignore]
#6 You defend your partner. If your friends say something negative about your partner, you defend them. Regardless, if you think your friends are right or not, you stand by your partner’s side.
#7 You don’t think about your ex. You may have seen that your ex has a new partner or is engaged, but you don’t care. In fact, you were happy for them which is an unusual reaction for you. And now that you have this new partner, you aren’t looking back at your past with regrets.
#8 You think about the future. You never thought you would be thinking about the future, but now, you think about your future with your partner. Moving in with them, maybe getting married. If you’re in love, you’re thinking about forever.
#9 You feel them. I’m talking about emotions here, not the physical. When you’re in love, you feel extreme empathy towards your partner. When they’re happy, you’re happy. When they’re sad, you feel their pain. This shows a deeper emotional connection between you and your partner. [Read: The 15 traits of selfless love and what sets it apart from selfish love]
#10 You like what they like. They like doing things that you love to do and vice versa. When you’re in love, people tend to align their interests with their partners. Basically, you start to mimic each other. You start dressing the same, having similar habits, and behaving the same.
#11 You’re possessive. You do not want anyone else to even remotely glance at your partner. When in love, we only have eyes for our partners. But with that, we can also become extremely jealous and possessive of them. This is due to our emotional bond to them and fear of losing them. But you won’t lose them, they love you. So, pipe down.
#12 There is mad sexual chemistry. You want to have sex with them all the time. If you had it your way, you would quit your job and live in bed with them. Don’t do that, you need to pay your rent.
But the point is, your emotional connection makes you want to always have intimacy with them. This is why the first couple months are called the honeymoon phase. [Read: How your body’s chemistry affects love]
#13 You remember all the small things. You know what their favorite ice cream flavor is, what their favorite band is, and where their dream vacation would be. You keep note of everything and when you can, you surprise them with the shirt they wanted to buy or their favorite cake. You’re not doing this to win them over, you’re doing this because it makes you feel good to see them happy.
Now that you know what it looks like to be in love, are you in love? If you’re not sure, don’t put so much pressure on yourself to figure it out. Give yourself time.