Acknowledging you might have fallen out of love with your partner is hard for anyone, but all is not lost. Here is how to fall back in love again.
Relationships are tough, we all know that. It doesn’t matter how long you have been in a relationship, you’ll find that you have good days and bad days. There are moments when you couldn’t feel more happy and in love, and then there are days where you seriously question your own judgement and wonder why you are with your partner in the first place.
Successful relationships are no walk in the park – it takes compromise and hard work to make your relationship last. We all have highs and lows and ups and downs, but if you get to the stage where you feel as though you have fallen out of love with your partner, it can be very difficult to come back from that.
However, before you give up on your relationship and throw everything away, perhaps you need to think about what has gone wrong in your relationship to make you feel this way, and if there is anything you can do to make it better again. [Read: Falling out of love and why it happens to you]
How to fall back in love with your partner
So, if you do feel this way, can anything be done? The good news is that if both you and your partner want to save your relationship, there are ways to do this. If you want to know how to fall back in love with your partner again, why not try these 10 tips?
#1 Tell them what you need. If you state your needs explicitly, then your partner will have no excuses. Often, it can be a series of misunderstandings that lead you to getting to the point where you feel that your relationship is no longer working.
If you tell your partner exactly what you need to make the relationship work, then you are being completely honest with them. This way, you have laid all your cards on the table, and it is up to them to decide whether they can provide you with what you need.
Don’t expect your partner to be a mind reader. So, if you are feeling dissatisfied with the relationship, tell them what you want. [Read: How to tell your partner you’re unhappy – 10 steps that make all the difference]
#2 Ask what your partner needs. If you have told your partner what you need to make the relationship work, then you should be willing to listen to what they need too. When you talk about your needs, whether they are emotional or physical, try to be receptive to one another, try not to get defensive or shut the other person out.
It can take a while to truly understand the root causes of your problems and work out exactly what you each desire, or where you think things have gone wrong. And sometimes it can be tough to hear. But if you don’t communicate this way with one another, your relationship will most likely fall apart.
#3 Be receptive to what your partner asks of you. It can be very easy to think what you have asked of your partner is perfectly acceptable. But when they ask you to make similar changes, you might think that they are being ridiculous or asking too much.
Remember, it is very easy to see the faults in another person, and far more challenging to see them in yourself. So keep an open mind, be sensitive, and work together to get to a point where you feel as though you are both making a mutual effort to make the relationship work. [Read: Selfishness in relationships – 15 tips to do the right thing]
#4 Be positive. When you first think about the fact that you may not be in love with your partner anymore, it is so easy to head into a downwards spiral of negativity and quickly get into the mindset that your relationship is doomed.
So if you want the relationship to continue, you need to think positively. If you are too negative, it will be almost impossible to see a way out.
#5 Talk about the future. If you want to feel excited about your relationship again, then talk about what you both want from the future.
Having these plans together and imagining the future, while still by each other’s side, will bring you closer. This way, you are working towards a common goal, you have a clear idea of what you want and can imagine your life still together years from now.
Having these ‘big picture’ conversations *such as buying a house or having kids together* will help your relationship feel stronger than ever before. And the fact that you are talking about committing to a future with one another also speaks volumes, and it’s also a great thing to do if you want to know how to fall back in love. [Read: 7 secret signs that reveal a bad relationship]
#6 Make time for each another. Being in a successful relationship is not only about understanding one another’s needs, it is about making sure you still pay attention to your partner and spend time together doing the things you love.
It is so easy, particularly in long term relationships, to stop appreciating one another or making an effort. If you spend most of your evenings sitting on armchairs mindlessly watching hours of TV, you are forgetting to talk to one another, to have fun and laugh together, and to keep getting to know one another.
Spending time talking, doing something active, and going on dates is so important to keep the romance and spark in your relationship alive. [Read: 16 sweet ways to show your appreciation for someone you love]
#7 Keep making an effort. This is HUGE if you want to know how to fall back in love. So many relationships break down because partners don’t feel the need to make an effort with each another anymore. Just because you have secured yourself a ‘mate’ doesn’t mean that you should get too comfortable.
Making an effort with your appearance will be appreciated. We’re not saying you have to look your best all the time, but making an effort to dress up and look nice when you are going out together can make all the difference. Finding each another physically attractive is hugely important.
#8 Be physically intimate. No, we are not just talking about you-know-what *although this obviously helps!* Make sure that you remember to show affection towards one another – hold hands, cuddle each other, kiss each other hello and goodbye.
Showing affection like this will make you feel closer and remind you why you make such a good couple in the first place. Of course, sex does come into this too – the more you have sex, the more intimate you will feel with your partner. So make sure you continue to make time for this, even when it feels like an effort. [Read: 16 non-sexual touches to feel connected and loved again]
#9 Try new things. Often, you just need a bit of a change in order to know how to fall back in love. Take up a new hobby, go on a road trip, or try something you’ve always wanted to do but never got around to.
Going on an adventure together, experimenting, and doing new things will make your relationship feel fresh and fun again – and remind each other why you got together in first place. [Read: 12 real reasons why so many couples drift apart over time]
#10 Be patient and kind. Remember that everyone goes through tough times in their relationships. If you can remember the good times, and why you fell in love in the first place, and you both want to make it work then you stand a fighting chance. So be patient and kind to one another and you’ll get there!
When your relationship goes through a rocky patch, it can be very unnerving. However, if you want know how to fall back in love with your partner, try these tips. Most relationships are worth fighting for, so make sure you give yours a chance!