You said you’d be friends with benefits, but somehow, you’re getting more than just the obvious benefits. Are you headed to relationship territory?
In this fast-paced world that we live in, flings are pretty much how most, if not all, relationships start. It seems like old school courtship isn’t exactly the in-thing anymore, and most of the getting-to-know-you part just happens through text, chat, or phone calls. It’s as if the internet has become the main tool for this era’s “courtship style.”
Additionally, hookups are so rampant that it doesn’t really matter to people anymore if they have sex with someone they’re not in a relationship with. I guess this is the way our world adapts to its people’s fast-paced lifestyle.
With all of that said, it won’t be such a big surprise if the guy or gal you’re casually screwing on the side turns out to be your next serious partner. You may have started off with a casual flirtationship, but things are starting to get serious. Before you know it, you’re asking yourself, “What are we?” [Read: Flirtationship – When you’re stuck in between a fling and a romance]
How to know if your fling will become serious
Before you jump to conclusions and assume that your fling’s two-text-messages-a-day habit will turn into wedding bells and babies, check for these signs to know if your little sumthin’ sumthin’ will turn into something more serious.
#1 Consistency. Consistency is always key in knowing if two people are really into each other. Do you consistently make plans to see each other despite your busy schedules? Do the two of you have constant communication? This could be through texts, phone calls, chats, social media messaging, and the works. If so, then this is most likely because this fling is turning into the real thing.
#2 Both of you have brought up defining what you two share. Nowadays, labeling seems to always be one of the biggest issues in relationships. Most couples don’t really define what they have until they’re both sure it is something serious.
Obviously, if one of you has brought the topic up and the other agrees, then doesn’t that give the two of you a signal that what you have is most definitely more than just a casual relationship? [Read: 6 spot-on tips on raising the idea of being exclusive]
#3 Family and friends know you’re seeing each other. Would you really introduce someone to your FAMILY and friends if that person isn’t someone you want to have a serious relationship with? I think not.
None of us would ever dare to bring a f*ck buddy to meet the parents. Meet the friends, maybe. But parents? Heck, no. The idea itself of letting the people you love know who you’re dating is a clear sign that we consider our “partner” more than just someone to hook up with. [Read: Are you falling for your fling? – 21 signs to decode that fuzzy feeling]
#4 You go out on real dates. And by real dates, I mean lunch and dinner dates, going to a theme park or setting a beach trip in advance. Real dates mean spending time to get to know each other. If you only go out to have drinks or hang out at your partner’s place, then that sends an awfully wrong message – drinks and hanging out at their place mean you two just want to get laid.
Oh, and the guy should always bring the girl home, we might not live in the olden times anymore, but that’s just how real dates are. Plus, never forget to make a follow-up call/text the day after the date – it comes off as rude when you go MIA a day after the date. [Read: Is the guy boyfriend material or just fling material?]
#5 Having sex isn’t the only reason the two of you meet up. Let’s say you and your fling have been hooking up for a seemingly significant amount of time, but then you realize that you two are making plans to actually spend time in the outside world, and you’re not confined to hanging out in the bedroom – you must rejoice because this is an extremely good sign.
The fact that you two enjoy each other’s company and the fact that your relationship does not revolve around sex alone means that what you have is becoming real, if it isn’t already. [Read: How to make your FWB want a real relationship with you]
#6 You two make plans for the future. Let’s assume what you have is a summer fling – if both of you decide to see each other even after you leave the beach, for example *where it all started*, then that’s kind of the start of something real.
Would you really include someone in your future if you didn’t have intense feelings for them or if your main goal is to keep them as a fling forever? I don’t think so. We make people a part of our future only when we actually see a future with them.
#7 Exclusivity. This is very important. The most obvious sign that it is becoming real is when you two have talked about being exclusive. A fling isn’t exclusive. When exclusivity becomes a part of the equation, then your fling has evolved into the real thing.
#8 There’s love. Bet you saw this one coming a mile away. Last but certainly not the least – you two share a fluttering, blissful feeling… one that we all call love. Flings progress into something more when there are feelings involved. This, of course, should be mutual and clearly not one-sided.
All the signs I have mentioned all lead to this – love. It just happens, but you’ll definitely know, and it won’t be confusing for you and your fling if and when you two start having feelings for each other. [Read: 19 sure signs of falling in love to watch out for!]
What’s truly important is that you and your partner talk about what you both want openly. Maybe at the beginning, you had an agreement that it isn’t going to be more than just a fling – sometimes, things just happen, and you could have absolutely no control over it.
The biggest mistake people usually commit when it comes to flings is that they never tell their partner what they really want. They wait on each other until everything gets messed up. Speak your mind if you feel that you want more, so you know if it’s going to evolve into anything because you can always just go and end it if not.
When it comes to grey area relationships like flings, sometimes all it takes is for one person to speak up. After all, you never know if your fling could be the one true love you have been waiting for.