What did you learn after your last breakup?
Life teaches us, every day we learn something new about ourselves and our expectations, we mentally grow a little with each interaction we have with someone, same goes for failed relationships. No matter how brutal or traumatic your break up may seem at the time, but it’s not in vain, none of it is in vain. Don’t think that the time you spent with the person was time wasted, don’t think that all the effort you put in your relationship was flushed down the drain, it’s all about how you look at things,
it’s all about the outlook being positive no matter what, you keep the lessons for a happier and stronger future. I, myself, have learned so many lessons about my own self and what to expect from people, even though I was almost half dead after my last break up, but I came out of it stronger than ever and with a few new tricks up my sleeve. Here are eight lessons you will learn from a failed relationship, let’s begin.
6. Some people are just plain “bad”
Ever been with someone who’s just bad? No matter what you do for them, no matter how much effort you make for them, they still make you feel suffocated and sad? It’s important to understand that some people actually are just “bad”, and they like how they are regardless of the love and affection they get from someone, they love the way they deal with life. Maybe it’s because of a tough past or maybe they’re just made that way, but don’t let that bring you down. One bad partner doesn’t mean everyone else is going to treat you the same way too. If you really have made every effort possible and still failed to see a bright future with them, just remember that you tried your best.
5. Only YOU can complete yourself
I used to be an insanely dependent person, the sort to always ask his partner for approval even if it was business related. I always looked at my partner for personal growth, for intelligence, I thought she was the reason I felt so empty inside and she would fill the emptiness, I was never more wrong. I was empty inside because of my own self, because I wanted others to help me every step of the way, I learned the hard way that only I could complete myself and fill the emptiness. You are your own support, no matter how much you love the other person you just CANNOT give them the burden of completing you.
4. Codependency doesn’t last for very long
As I mentioned earlier, I was a very dependent person and my last break up was exceptionally brutal because I had to learn a lot of lessons the hard way. When you’re the sort of person who completely depends on his/her partner for everything, you’re going to have a very hard time in the future. Your relationship can be as pure and as long-lasting as you want it to be, but you can NEVER let anybody take full control of your life, because when they leave, they leave with your integrity and self-confidence.
3. Lust isn’t forever
Relationships that are built solely on lust and physical attraction are the weakest of relationships. The lust may seem pretty strong at first, but the element of “love”, the lust fades away very quickly. If you’re physically attracted towards someone, make sure to control yourself and not commit yourself to someone just because you feel right at that time, you’ll be hating yourself later and it’s a very lonely feeling. Physical attraction works wonders ONLY when you have real feelings for your partner.
2. We all need some “personal time”
Again, this is something I had to learn the hard way. I used to think the concept of “me time” doesn’t work after being in a relationship with someone, I was wrong. No matter how deeply you love someone, you still need time for your own self, the best and strongest of relationships are those where both individuals know how important “personal time” is for them, it keeps us sane. It may seem very “cute” at first that you have all your meals with someone,
hang out with someone all day long, but you slowly start losing touch with yourself, and that’s very painful in the end when you can’t find “yourself” and are all alone.
1. No one belongs to you
Just because you’re in a relationship with someone, doesn’t mean you own them. I’ve seen hundreds of relationships break. relationships that lasted for years broken within seconds, I’ve seen marriages end, my dad left my mother after 22 years of being happily married, nothing is forever and this is why I always say that relationships are a constant struggle and neither of you can give up when times get tough. Being in love doesn’t mean you own someone,
it doesn’t mean you can start treating them any less than you did before, being in love means you’ll keep doing whatever you can to stay happy with the person you’re with.