Is it normal to still love your ex? Love’s a funny thing. Sometimes when we think we’re over someone, then we realize those feelings never left.
Is it normal to still love your ex? This was on my mind on a recent holiday to a beach town where my ex lives. We were together for four years and we haven’t seen each other in two years, so I thought it would be okay to see him.
They say that time heals everything and in some cases it does, but in others, it simply covers your emotions. When I saw him for the first time after two years, I realized I wasn’t over him. Sure, I had rebounds and boyfriends since our break up, but I never really got over him.
Is it normal to still love your ex? How to get over them
You know, it’s a weird feeling because you thought you knew yourself, but you realize that you have no idea what was really going on inside your head and heart. Of course, it was hard to see him. When I went back home, I cried, I was confused. I didn’t understand what was going on with me.
Though I don’t want to be back together with him, I now see I still love him. Ugh, just when you think you moved on, this happens. You may wonder if this is normal, and it totally is. It’s easier to get over some people than others.
#1 Is there a chance to get back together? You’re still in love with your ex, okay. We got that covered. So, is there a chance of you two getting back together? Do you want them back?
Because if you do, then talk to them about this. But, if you don’t, then you must move on from them. Don’t be a hopeless romantic about this. [Read: Break up to make up: 10 ways to give love a second chance]
#2 You have to cut them off. Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat. Literally whatever app has them on it, delete them. This is possibly the best way to give yourself a break and time to be without them. This is going to be a hard thing to do, but once you do it, it’s so refreshing. Having them pop up on your Facebook or liking your photos only makes you obsess.
#3 If there’s no chance for you to be with them, let go. If you two aren’t planning on getting back together, then you’re going to have to let them go. This is going to be the hardest thing you’re going to do and you’re not going to want to do it.
But, if you want to move with your life and have a future of your own, you can’t carry this burden on you. [Read: 10 signs your past relationship is holding you back]
#4 Allow yourself to feel these emotions. Feeling love for someone isn’t something to be ashamed of. This is completely normal. You shared an intimate part of your life with this person, so, of course, you’re going to love them.
Allow yourself to feel whatever you want to feel. If you suppress these emotions, they pop up later in life. It’s only going to get more complicated.
#5 Don’t go for a rebound. I know many people say that you should rebound, but listen, if you’re not ready to be with someone, you can’t help it. It doesn’t matter how long it’s been, whether you two broke up a month or two years ago. Being with someone just because you’re scared to be alone isn’t going to work. [Read: 8 most common post-breakup mistakes you should never do]
#6 Don’t think about the if’s. There’s no reason to think about the “what if’s.” The fact of the matter is that you’re no longer with your ex. So, accept that. Don’t think about what could have been because nothing would have been. By fantasizing about this, you only dig yourself deeper into a hole you don’t need to be in.
#7 You have to keep your mind busy. When you’re not busy, your mind wanders. And if you think you’re in love with your ex, well, then your mind is going to focus only on that. So, keep your brain active with other thoughts.
This means you’ll want to refrain from having any time to sit and think about things. Pick up a book, get a hobby, watch Jeopardy. Whatever it is, do it. [Read: Feeling stuck in life? How to change directions and live your dream]
#8 Keep any memories out of sight. You don’t have to burn everything they gave you. Keep photos and other memories that you have of them. But, instead of having them on your mantel, put them in a box and tuck them away. You don’t need to see them right now. Maybe in ten years dust it off and go through it, but not now.
#9 No sex with the ex! This is a big no-no. NO SEX with them. Do not touch them sexually, don’t make any sexual advances, keep your hands to yourself. This only hurts you. So, don’t have sex with your ex. If you want to get back with them, then just talk to them about it. Sleeping your way to a relationship isn’t the way to do it.
#10 But do have sex. Yes, please. You don’t have to go crazy, but make sure you have a little sexy time here and there. Maybe you have an old booty call on your phone, well, ring them. If you have problems getting over your ex, letting go of some sexual tension could help. [Read: 13 rebound sex questions to know if you’re ready]
#11 Do things that you want to do. If you always wanted to take a dance class or go hitchhiking, do it. Now is the time to maximize doing things for yourself. It helps you ease your mind out of your ex and see that there’s so much more out there in the world for you than them.
#12 Go out. You need to go out. This doesn’t mean that you get a number or sleep with someone. I mean, just go out to meet people, have some drinks, and relax. Staying at home alone watching a depressing chick flick isn’t going to help you out. [Read: Are you still in love with your ex? Why you feel this way]
#13 Go back into the dating pool on your own time. Your friends are going to push you into the dating pool quickly. I know they try to help, but honestly, if you don’t want to, don’t do it. You have to process your emotions, not cover them by being thrown dates at your face.
#14 Know that you’ll always love them. You’re going to have to accept this fact. You’ll always love your ex and there’s nothing wrong with that. Over time, you won’t necessarily be in love with them, but you’ll love them. [Read: 10 signs that prove you are still attached to your ex]
#15 There are other people out there for you. Even though I still love my ex, I met so many amazing guys after him. Yes, I’m still single, I know. But that’s not the point.
Your ex isn’t the only person out there. So, don’t think you won’t be able to meet anyone else. No two loves are the same, but that doesn’t make one better than the other.[Read: Why do people break up even if they’re still in love?]
There’s nothing wrong with wondering is it normal to still love your ex? However, it’s also important to move on and find someone who’s going to love you.