Everyone feels alone sometimes. If you perpetually feel you’ll be forever alone, then it may be time to examine what keeps you stuck.
Are you someone who feels alone whether in a relationship or not? The sad reality of life is that when our ride is over, we leave on our own. I don’t mind dying, I just don’t want to go by myself. Imagine if you died and brought one person along, who would you bring? If you don’t know, and don’t feel as if there are any meaningful enough connections in your life, then the problem most likely lies within you. Feeling forever alone is a very powerful and painful experience.
Humans are designed for connection. Given the ability to communicate, work together, and rely on other people not only meets our social needs, it fills our physical needs as well. Numerous psychological studies focus on studying the effects of the deprivation of human touch and relationships in people.
Those with less social support feel more disconnected, or generally feel lonely, resulting in poorer health outcomes both mentally and physically. The good news? You don’t have to keep feeling like you will be forever alone!
13 ways to stop feeling forever alone
The key lies in learning to accept yourself. After all, you can’t change the way other people behave or what they think, you only change yourself. Try these 13 ways to stop feeling forever alone and join in on life around you.
#1 Put away your past. Often people guide their future based on past experience. If rejection occurred in your past, or you reached out to someone only to be pushed back, let it go. If you approach each new day and each new connection in your life with full potential to be linked with those around you, you’ll be surprised how quickly things will turn around. [Read: How to let go of the past and be excited by the future]
#2 Examine current relationships. If your current relationship makes you feel forever alone, it may not be you, but the person you are with. There are certain personality styles that make others feel alone and insignificant. If someone isn’t giving of themselves, it makes you feel disconnected and lacking. Examine your current relationships to see if they drive your feelings of loneliness. [Read: 15 revealing truths about feeling all alone in a relationship]
#3 Don’t waste your energy. People with a tendency to feel forever alone often spend their time and energy on unavailable people.
If some friendships leave you feeling worthless or lonelier than being alone, stop wasting your time trying to grab their attention. They are either unwilling or unable to give it to you. You can’t choose your family, but you choose your friends. So choose those willing to invest back the time you give to them. [Read: 17 bad friends you need to unfriend from your life]
#4 Don’t close yourself off. If you have been hurt in the past and decided—never again, you become your worst enemy. If you don’t open yourself up to others, they never get close enough to get to know you. We all have one side we show to the world and the other we keep hidden. If you long to connect to people, be the genuine you, put yourself out there, and be vulnerable enough for rejection.
#5 Learn to love yourself. Most of the time, people who feel perpetually lonely find they can’t get the one person they really need in their life to like them—themselves. If you don’t love yourself and find yourself worthy, convincing others of your worth gets much harder. Sometimes, the hardest part of life means learning to enjoy hanging out with the one person who you can’t get rid of. You! [Read: 11 tips to fall in love with yourself and be a better you]
#6 Take stock. Most of us would be surprised at the people who experience feeling forever alone. Seemingly they have friends, family, and close relationships, but all of us feel lonely at times. If you stop and take a good look around, you may find that you aren’t nearly as alone as you think. The key is not to want what you don’t have but to want what you do. Always looking around at what is missing puts blinders on what is right in front of your face.
#7 You only need one. I used to think life was about acquiring people. The more friends you have, the less lonely you are, right?
The truth is you only need one true friend in your life. When you have one person you can turn to, who always provides you with an honest opinion and stands by your side, you’ll feel like the luckiest person in the world. Stop looking for the big group and learn to appreciate the one standing when the party ends.
#8 Stop self-sabotaging. There are many times in life when we self-sabotage. Due to past experiences and not wanting to be hurt or disappointed, we set up scenarios in our life to go wrong. Creating our own barriers and roadblocks, we do things inadvertently to be alone.
Since losing someone feels more painful sometimes than being alone, we do small things ensuring our relationships don’t work. Or we convince ourselves they aren’t real or really working. Before assuming another relationship is going wrong and headed for heartbreak, ask yourself, is something honestly happening or is this just fabricated in your mind? [Read: Is your over-analyzing sabotaging your relationship?]
#9 Expectations determine outcomes. When we experience failure, it isn’t uncommon to become negative or to expect negative outcomes. The reason your relationships continue to fail is because you expect them too. Always looking for the other shoe to drop or a sign to cut and run, you set yourself up for heartbreak. Much like self-sabotaging, negative thinking makes you feel forever alone even in a supportive and loving relationship.
Sometimes it all lies in the way we perceive things.
#10 Keep contact. Many people who feel alone reach out to others and when they don’t get the exact response they desire, they pull away and avoid people altogether. If you don’t want to be forever alone, the best way to overcome feelings of loneliness means continuing to seek out those in your life who are worthwhile.
If they don’t answer immediately, be patient and understand they don’t want to intentionally hurt you. They probably don’t realize how much you need their company. The more you feel rejection, the harder it becomes to maintain contact, but that is exactly what is going to get you through your feelings of being alone. [Read: I feel lonely: 30 ways to overcome feelings of loneliness]
#11 Consider professional help. People who feel perpetually alone often struggle with an underlying condition making them feel isolated. Don’t be ashamed to reach out for professional help. Loneliness may be a symptom of something greater like depression. Sometimes, it takes just a little extra help to move past the difficult times in our life.
Whether talking through unresolved issues you may be dealing with or addressing a chemical imbalance, finding the right help is critical to ending your suffering. Make no mistake, feeling lonely clouds your outlook on life and your livelihood.
#12 Keep a journal. There are times when you may feel especially alone. Determine if there are triggers in your life leading you to feel forever alone. Sometimes something like old memories or hormonal cycles set the spiral in motion. Keeping a journal of your feelings and monitoring whether specific things drive your loneliness is the best way to find the courage to overcome what keeps you stuck and feeling alone. [Read: 18 emotions you should never ever feel in a happy relationship]
#13 Don’t stop trying. As hard as it is to believe, there will come a day when you won’t feel alone anymore. It won’t be magical, like one day you wake up and feel accepted, loved, and completely settled, but if you work at it, accept others for who they are, and learn to accept yourself, then you will begin to see incremental change.
The more positive experiences you acquire, the better you’ll feel, and the more confident you will become in your future. You don’t have to solve world hunger or create peace globally; you only have to create peace in your heart.
Being lonely is merely a state of mind. The only one who can make you feel forever alone is yourself. Take each day as it comes, think positively, and if need be, get the help you need to get you through the rough parts. Loneliness won’t last forever.