Want to get to know your girlfriend better, you know, really get to know her? Well, you’ll need to remember these deep questions to ask your girlfriend.
If you want to bond and connect with your girlfriend, you’re going to need to keep these deep questions to ask your girlfriend in mind. More than just asking her how her day was. And she needs to do more than tell you her favorite flavor of ice cream.
For a relationship to really become a relationship, you need to open up to each other and become vulnerable. When you learn personal things about someone, you immediately become closer to them. So, if you want to really connect, you need some deep questions to ask your girlfriend. [Read: How to learn to be more vulnerable and open in your relationship]
Deep questions to ask your girlfriend
When first dating someone, we spend most of our time worrying about what they think and hope we don’t screw it up. You want this person to like you and want to spend time with you.
But what happens after the dating, when you passed through all the small talk and you already know all the basics about her? Your relationship just can’t be based on talking about your day. There needs to be something more, something that differentiates casual sex and a relationship.
Let’s get deep deep.
#1 What is your deepest fear? It’s a personal question and once you know what her deepest fear is, you’ll be able to understand her that much better. Many of our actions are connected to our fears, so, by knowing what scares them, you’ll be able to see why they do the things they do. [Read: 14 steps to emotionally connect with someone and feel closer]
#2 If you imagine yourself in twenty years, what do you see? Now, this will take some visualization on her part. No one really likes this question, but it shows you a lot of who they are. Do they see themselves traveling, having a family, working, or all three? Plus, it gives you a glimpse of whether or not you can see her in your future and vice versa. If she’s interested in traveling and you’re not, well, that may be a problem. [Read: Revealing “what if” questions to ask your girlfriend]
#3 Are you a spiritual person? Whether spirituality is important to you or not isn’t necessarily important. What’s important is if you are able to respect each other’s beliefs. If you’re not spiritual and she is, you’re going to have to either accept it or move on.
#4 What did you want to be when you were five-years-old? We all had that one big dream of what we wanted to be when we were five-years-old. We were free to imagine crazy and wild dreams in our heads. As her partner, find out what those dreams and aspirations were.
Let her bask in it when she’s telling you and see if there’s some way you can help her make those dreams come true, even in the smallest of ways.
#5 In moments when you’re feeling uncomfortable, is there something I can do to better support you? No one knows how to react when their partner is going through a hard time. What can you do? Pat her on the shoulder and tell her it’s going to be okay? Usually, that’s not enough, yet, we never ask our partners what we can do to better support them. Ask her this question and she’ll tell you exactly what she needs from you during tough moments. [Read: 15 thoughtful ways to comfort a girl and do it right]
#6 What’s a hard lesson you had to learn in life? Life isn’t easy nor is it always fun. We all experience hard days, days of pain and moments that you wish would just end already. But those days make you a stronger person and teach you a lot about yourself. What were her struggles and how have they changed her into the person she is today? You never know, maybe she never learned from her mistakes.
#7 What is your relationship like with your father? I know this sounds like a weird question, but it’s extremely important. So many women have poor relationships with their fathers which alters the way they see men. Now, this isn’t a deal breaker, but it’s important to see how she views men because this will show you the forthcoming issues that may occur. [Read: The effects of a good or a bad father on a girl]
#8 Have you ever loved someone before? I’m not including friends and family in this one. When I say love, I mean in an intimate sense. Love is an essential part of the human experience and of course, you want to know if she’s experienced these feelings before. If she’s been unable to love others, then it may be a problem in your relationship as that means she’ll struggle opening up to you.
#9 Is there something you stopped doing even though you loved it? We all have loved things that we sadly stopped doing. For whatever reasons, our dreams and interests get shoved to the side. What were her dreams and desires? Find out if she stopped doing something she loved and why. Maybe you can do the activity together or surprise her with it.
#10 What’s one of your favorite memories? Even if your childhood was horrible, there’s at least one positive childhood memory that you have. It doesn’t have to be extravagant, but it’s a memory that’s stuck with her throughout her life.
If you want to connect in a positive way, asking her about her favorite memory is a great way to do it. It will give you both the moment where she’s remembering what made her happy. [Read: What is pillow talk and how to use it to perfect your romance]
#11 How do you feel about our sex? When it comes to the list of deep questions to ask your girlfriend, this isn’t the most comfortable question to ask her, that I must admit. However, it’s an important question to ask and talk about. Sex is absolutely crucial in a relationship and you should always check to see that you and your partner are on the same page. Maybe she’d like more or less sex or even to switch things up in the bedroom. But you won’t know unless you ask. [Read: 13 clear signs she really enjoys having sex with you]
#12 Is there something in the past week that I’ve done that may have unintentionally hurt you? Listen, we all say or do things that may hurt our partners unknowingly, that doesn’t make us bad people. You’re probably not even aware of what you said or did. However, she’s keeping her feelings locked inside and you don’t want that to end up with an explosion.
Asking if you’ve hurt her in the past days will help you understand the things you do which negatively affect her. [Read: 21 things you do that hurt your girlfriend’s feelings]
#13 Do you feel incomplete about an argument we’ve had in the past week? Couples argue. That’s just the way it is. Now, you should aim to ask her about this past week because if you keep it too broad, she’s going to go way back and we want to stay present.
I know you don’t want to ask this because you think she’ll get mad at you again, but working through these issues to bring your relationship closer makes a really big difference to your future. Don’t ignore your issues, face them with her.
So, you have the 13 deep questions to ask your girlfriend right in the palms of your hands. All you need to do is ask them.