Just as a big hug makes you feel warm and comfortable, too much of it can suffocate you. Understand these signs of being smothered in a relationship.
One of the immediate benefits of a relationship is the love and care you receive from your significant other. Each person is capable of expressing this love in many different ways. B there are moments of overdoing it and causing an adverse effect. When this happens, you eventually feel suffocated. Do you know the signs of being smothered in a relationship?
11 signs of being smothered in a relationship you need to know
Being smothered in a relationship is never a good feeling. It gives you little room for movement, makes it hard for you to be yourself, and you feel like a prisoner of the relationship.
These feelings of suffocation only evoke a single reaction from any person: to break free. However, being smothered does not happen all at once. It builds up from unassumingly small signs. [Read: How to understand the different types of insecure attachment]
#1 Your partner is taking over your social media. There is an unspoken understanding between normal couples that their partner’s mobile phone and social media account is their personal domain where they exercise a degree of privacy and control. Some make the grave mistake and try to influence or even censor what their partner posts in their social media.
There would be long Q&As of why you posted this photo, why you didn’t use this same app or filter, or why is this person messaging you or tagging you in posts. They often lead to arguments and getting out of social media completely. [Read: The good, the bad, and the ugly when it comes to social media and your relationship]
#2 Your partner is unreasonably jealous. While jealousy may occasionally occur, getting unreasonably jealous with every single person your partner interacts can make you feel smothered. It reflects poorly on the overly jealous partner.
Additionally, there’s the emotional stress of constantly explaining the relationship you have with the people attracting your partner’s jealousy. [Read: How to walk away from the destructive energy of jealousy]
#3 You find yourself explaining every little thing you do. Overbearing parents make people want to move out of their house. In the same way, people won’t think twice about leaving a micromanaging boss. Sadly, some relationships are prone to end up in a similar smothering situation if one partner is overly dominant and controlling.
Under threat of a long argument, you find yourself explaining every choice and decision you make, and report every single detail that happens during the day.
#4 Your partner gives you grief every time you fail to spend time with them. In other words, your partner is excessively clingy. While couples would like to spend their time together as much as possible, both have other people and responsibilities that demand their attention.
The suffocation begins when your significant other fails to see this. They believe that your relationship alone is enough to fulfill your needs. They get angry or even accuse you of not putting effort in the relationship.
#5 Your partner gives little credence to your personal commitments. There are moments where other responsibilities demand our time and attention. Normally your significant other understands if a date gets cancelled or if you postpone your scheduled quality time for the day in order to take care of your personal errands.
However, if your partner is insensitive to the importance of your personal commitments and demands that you focus only on them, it feels smothering. [Read: The checklist you need to start your relationship off right]
#6 Your growing list of commitments are now including your partner’s friends. In addition to the already daunting responsibility you have towards your demanding partner, you find yourself committing your time to your partner’s friends and social circle. You’ll be required to attend their social functions. Saying no to these warrants an argument.
#7 You find very little time to spend on your own hobbies. Due to the time and attention your partner demands from you, you find yourself with little or no time at all to spend on the activities that used to give you enjoyment or stimulate your creativity.
Oftentimes, you’re coerced to take part in activities that you have little interest in. Obviously, you feel smothered. Getting cut off from your hobbies and passion projects is akin to having the air cut out of your system.
#8 Your partner doesn’t want you to spend time with your friends. Just like your hobbies, you start losing time you have to spend with your own friends. For your partner, their busy social calendar makes it unnecessary for you to go out with your friends. This situation causes you to lose your original support network and isolating you further. [Read: How to pull back from a smothering relationship and ignore the sparks]
#9 You start spacing out or get distracted when your partner is talking to you. With a suffocating partner, your mind engages its defense mechanism by wandering off. Your imagination kicks in and you drown your partner’s voice in the background until they angrily call your attention back to them.
#10 You come up with tactics to be away from your partner. You now deliberately come up with subtle tactics to avoid spending time with your partner. You’ve either lied about feeling unwell, a business emergency, or having slept off to avoid answering your partner’s calls. The relationship feels so constrained that you avoid your partner like the plague. [Read: The reasons you’ll feel so relieved after you break up]
#11 You consider breaking up. Just as our body’s normal reaction to the literal feeling of suffocation is to get fresh air, one of the clearest signs of being smothered in a relationship is the realization that your love life has become unbearable. You even consider leaving your partner. You cannot fight your instinct for self-preservation. If the relationship has done nothing but smother the life out of you, for your sanity’s sake, it’s only natural to look for the way out.
Romantic gestures in the right amount and the right way can nurture your significant other. Overdoing it can trigger the signs of being smothered in a relationship and lead to a breakup.