Funny how we forget the simplest of things.
You know what the most fulfilling and complete feeling of accomplishment is? It’s being with someone even after years of ups and downs and still being able to share the rest of your life happily with them, a strong and long term relationship is an accomplishment in itself. People often forget the simplest of things when it comes to being with someone, and that’s where the downs start happening, it’s very important to reassure yourself and to do whatever you can to make your relationship that much more stronger than yesterday. This is going to be an article on ten basic relationship tips people often forget, let’s begin.
10. Forgive your past
It’s almost impossible to forget, people often say “forgive and forget” but they don’t think about what you had to go through and how impossible it is to forget and let go of the past, you can’t. but what you definitely can do is forgive the past and you’ll slowly help yourself in forgetting it. Think about your past, about the things that have had a very strong impact on your mind, think of the people involved in that impact, don’t think of them in a resentful way and forgive them. It’s not going to be easy, it’s not going to happen in one day, but it will make you feel much lighter when you finally forgive your past.
By forgiving your past, you’re going to make your own relationship very strong because the triggers that once hurt you can’t hurt you anymore. Whenever you’ll think about the past, you’ll smile because you’ve forgiven it.
When you’re in a relationship, it’s very important to throw things like “ego” and “self righteousness” out the window. If you make a mistake, directly or indirectly, save yourself and your partner the agony of another argument and just apologize. It doesn’t take much to apologize, just say you’re sorry and MEAN IT! We are all human, we are bound to make mistakes because we are just made that way, none of us are perfect. Making up for your mistakes will only tell your partner that you truly respect them enough to come clean and to accept the fact that you did something wrong.
8. Don’t pass judgement
You’re in a relationship with someone else, not with yourself. You have no idea how their past has been on them or what they had to do to get here. You can’t judge them in any way, shape or form. Give them enough space and respect to make their own decisions and then respect their decisions and enhance them. You’re in love with them, you have to make them understand why they love you so much every day. Support them in their lives, however they want to live them.
7. Say no to gossip
So they do something that you’re not okay with, are you going to talk to them about it or go talk to your friends and family about how weird your partner is? Do you want to be one of the people who can’t solve their own problems and have to spread them to the whole world before giving up? Don’t be. If you aren’t comfortable saying it to their face, you can’t be okay saying it elsewhere. Sit down and talk about things, you’re not someone who would gossip about your own life, are you?
6. Don’t forget yourself
Live life the way you want to, don’t let your relationship change it in any way. A strong and happy relationship is meant to enhance your life, not change it. Be happy with who YOU are, be content with your decisions on your own, don’t rely on your partner to make your decisions for you. I talk about codependency in my previous article, check it out here, I talk about how codependency can seem cute at first but really how toxic and dangerous it is for any relationship. Live your life your way, be happy with it, and transfer that happiness and joy in your relationship and make it even stronger.
5. Be kind
Always be kind through your words and actions. You don’t have to expect people to be kind in return, that’s not the goal here, the goal here is to purify yourself as much as you can, and being kind to people can really bring a lot of happiness in your system. Be the person who finds happiness in making others smile, wholeheartedly and selflessly. If you’re kind to the world, the world will be kind to you. People will remember your acts of kindness, no matter how big or small, and you’ll feel great about yourself and the person you love and you can bring that joy into your relationship.
It’s amendable to speak your mind, it takes a lot of strength and guts to say what you want to and mean it, it takes that much more to really listen. Pay attention to your partner, every word, and make them understand that you’re not just another bobbing head, make them understand that you’re there for them when they need to talk to someone. When you stare into their eyes, forget everything else and just listen to their words, they’ll appreciate it more than anything else in the world because it’s not that easy for anyone to just listen, to really listen with all of your heart and will.
3. Let go of your fears
The biggest fear people face in relationships is the fear of trust, the sheer fact that you will be giving your heart and soul to someone again, what if they don’t know your worth, what if they won’t be able to do justice to the love you give them, all of these questions arise when you’ve had a bad relationship in the past, and we all have had bad relationships in the past. The easiest way to fight your fears is to fight them with the positivity of your relationship, look at all of the good things happening to you because of your partner, look at how happy you are with them, and tell your fears to get out because they can’t stay anymore!
2.Expect less, do more
I follow this one more than others, I try to be as selfless as I can be when it comes to love. She sometimes tells me that she can never amount to how loving and caring I am because I do a bit too much, I tell her she doesn’t need to amount to me. We are all different people, we have different ways of care and different ways of showing them and expressing our feelings. The more selfless you become, the happier you’ll be. I’m not asking you to expect nothing, that’s just unnatural, just don’t expect more than you give. You’ll always get a lot more in return.
1. Don’t drag what shouldn’t be dragged
I always talk about how you need to always remember who you are and what your worth in this world is. If you’re with someone who doesn’t respect you, your intelligence, your decisions, your life or anything that you love, you need to call this one off and move on. When a relationship ends, it’s obviously very hurtful, but when a bad relationship ends, it’s for the best because you suffer a little pain today to avoid a disaster tomorrow. Know your worth, because you’re important.