If you want to know how emotionally stable a girl is, try asking about her dad. A father-daughter relationship is key to a woman’s happiness and life.
Who doesn’t want to be daddy’s girl? Daddy is supposed to be the guy who stands up for you, protects you, and looks at you like he created a masterpiece. Unfortunately, not all of us end up with the fairytale father we wish for, nor do we have a perfect father-daughter relationship to remember fondly.
The relationship that boys have with their fathers is complex too, but it is different with girls. The way that a girl sees her value, and the way that men should treat her, all stem from the notions that she got in her father-daughter relationship. Just as important as the way that her parent’s relationship will forever taint her future ones, the way that her dad made her feel is likely to be transferred to every guy that she meets.
Important signs in a father-daughter relationship
Before you go for the girl of your dreams, it is important to see these telltale signs that her relationship with her father is going to bring you drama in the future.
It may not be obvious what kind of relationship she has with her father initially, so just keep your eye out for these signs.
#1 Daddy’s Girl. Everyone has heard of this type of father-daughter relationship. If you are dating a “daddy’s girl,” you aren’t ever going to live up to the standards that she has about how you should love her or what she deserves. Daddy’s girls are spoiled brats who get whatever they desire by doing nothing more than smiling.
There is no sense in trying to reign in their vain or selfish nature; it is more ingrained in them than breath. Getting what they want is as easy as a smile, and if they can’t have what they want, they will probably look for someone else to give in to their every whim. [Read: The 11 types of girls you need to avoid falling for at all costs]
#2 Craving attention. If you are dating a girl who has spent her lifetime trying to get the attention and/or approval of a dismissive father, good luck. She is probably a pleaser by nature and wants to do nothing but to make you happy.
Often unable to make a decision on her own, she will put your needs before her own. That may seem delightful in the beginning, but when she can’t seem to get enough of your attention, she will revert to the two-year-old who would do anything to get it from her dismissive father. The more you try to feed into it, the more she craves, and sometimes that can lead to an empty hole. [Read: 20 signs she’s a people pleaser and just doesn’t realize it]
#3 The competitive girl. In this father-daughter relationship, the girls were constantly fighting for their dad’s attention because she had sisters or brothers who were the “golden” child. These are the type of girls who are on a course to prove something to her dad through being the best, making it to number one, and being who and what he wanted her to be.
Constantly chasing the dreams of someone other than the ones she has for herself, at some point she will realize that her life is not as meaningful as she wanted. Never achieving what she really wants – her dad’s approval – she won’t be satisfied with anything.
#4 She idolized her dad. This is the girl who thinks that the sun rose and set just for her dad. Doing no wrong, her dad was the breadwinner, the emotional supporter, the attention giver… basically Superman to her. Whether he really was or not is not the issue – it is all in her perspective.
The problem with dating the girl who idolized her dad is that she has unrealistic expectations, not only of what and who he was, but what and who YOU should be. She will expect you to be there for her 24/7, attend to her every whim, while at the same time, no matter what you do, it will never be enough or what she needs. [Read: Is she taking you for granted? 16 signs you’re not good enough for her]
#5 The critical dad. The daughter of a critical man is fearful and anxious all the time. Never being able to do anything right, she will seek to do everything and be hypersensitive to any criticism that anyone puts on her. Constantly trying to win the love of a man who pointed out her downfalls, she will likely have a very low self-esteem and never believe that she is good enough. That is not an easy thing for a man to deal with. Your job will be to continually boost her up while she continues to tell you what a failure she is.
#6 The abusive father. The down-right abusive father is one of the worst role models that any woman can have. They typically seek out men who will abuse them, and when someone is nice to them, they will believe the worst anyway.
When you tell her that you love her, she will probably not believe you. Learning very young that love is not real, her end-game is to avoid pain by doing what everyone wants – but they feel very little besides the feeling of fear and insecurity, which is hard to override. Obviously, this is a terrible father-daughter relationship. [Read: How to deal with a complicated relationship]
#7 The abandoned girl. These are girls who lost their father or were abandoned early on. Typically due to divorce or losing a father, the abandoned girl takes it personally and will have a low self-esteem, and very little confidence in herself and YOU.
Looking for the first sign that you are going to cut and dash, she will do whatever she can to get you to prove that you are going to leave. Often relationship sabotaging, these girls are very hard to love because they are waiting for the other shoe to drop.
When things are too quiet, they stir up trouble. When feeling comfortable, they will find a reason not to. It’s called the self-fulfilling prophecy – she will be so convinced that you aren’t going to stick around she may make you want to leave. [Read: Abandonment issues: how it affects your relationship]
#8 The girl who never knew her dad. This is a very sad father-daughter relationship because the girl didn’t ever know her father and has had a hard time knowing who she is. Growing up, it was difficult to see her friends spend time with their dad and have a good relationship with them.
With just her mom and her against the world, she has very little trust in men and probably has been taught to be self-reliant and to never “need” a man. And because some degree of dependence is healthy for any relationship, this type of girl can be difficult to get close to, and will probably never let her guard down. That can make any man feel unwanted. After all, they have a natural need to protect the woman they love. [Read: Crazy women – 15 signs your girl is totally insane!]
#9 The best friend. There are times when a girl and her dad have an excellent friendship. That is a great situation for you because she trusts men and will turn to her Dad for advice. But she also realizes that he is not perfect and makes mistakes too.
The biggest problem, if there is one with this type of girl, is going to be the dad in her life. Not wanting to lose his little girl, he may spend some time making your relationship more difficult, or stirring up trouble. You may not have to do much for her mental stability, but may have to pay a little more attention reassuring her daddy that you are good enough for his little girl.
#10 The strict dad. The girl who had a strict dad is either going to be very sheltered and immature, or she is going to want to rebel and look for the “bad boy.” Not really looking for the man of her dreams, she may be on a mission to either find someone to take care of her or to make her dad mad.
If you notice that her dad was overly protective and sheltering, be careful. She may not have a clue how to live in the real world. You may want to stay away from this father-daughter relationship, too. [Read: 15 types of bad girlfriends who’ll make your life a living hell]
There is an old saying about how if you want to see how a girl will look in the future, look at her mom. In the same respect, if you want to know how emotionally stable a girl is, the key is to look at the father-daughter relationship she has.
This is how girls learn how to have relationships with men. They are guided by the experiences that she has with the main man in her life, which up until puberty, is typically her father. If he is overbearing, too protective, or abusive, it is likely going to affect the way that she relates to you, the expectations that she has, and the assumptions that she makes about who you are.
The good news is that no matter what type of father-daughter relationship your woman had, with some patience and persistence, you can overcome most of the damage done. It is possible to find a mature and loving relationship that is not necessarily based on her upbringing and childhood, but on your future.