In conversation, it is quite common to use ‘need’ and ‘want’ as synonyms. Need and want are different, and even more different from love. There is usual tendency to put need, want and love in the same bracket. People use these words to suit themselves, but a successful relationship based on love wants you to develop clear understanding of what these words actually mean.
It is okay to need someone when you are emotionally down or going through extremely difficult, but needing someone around 24×7 is not right and can make it very difficult for the other person to cope with your constant needs. Truth be told, it is suffocating.
Needing someone is depending on them.
This can limit your own ability to face life and its challenges on your own. Some people just need their partners to be around all the time and be part of every activity. They may not be able to remember when they faced a particular situation or a difficulty alone. Clearly, this is not love but sheer dependence on someone without whose existence your life seems impossible.
Who wants to be needed? Perhaps, no one. Needs are unending and just having a person to satisfy those needs no matter in what form they are is wrong and harmful. It is kind of utilising someone which definitely does not mean love. People can be in relationships for months and even years because of lack of love in their lives. But, when that is sated, they are ready to move on as they no longer need the love they were getting.
Want on the other hand has more than one meaning.
It can pop up from a very strong desire to have someone, even to possess them, own them. It can be superficial and shallow. Needs may arise from the hollowness in one’s life, their weaknesses and incapability. Wants may arise from attraction. One can get fascinated towards certain traits of a person and get attracted to them deeply.
But, can it be called love? Relationships based on wants can fall apart because our wants are never the same, never constant and never long-lasting. They are like sand dunes that are meant to be of non-permanent nature.
What is love, then?
Human beings are considered selfish beings and some people believe we cannot love without some reason. There has to be some reason, something about the person that satisfies us. People who get in a relationship based on these facts may think they are in love, but in reality they are not and in due to course of time they also understand it.
The answer love is only love, in its purest form. Imagine the love you have for your parent, grandparents, siblings or anyone else. Can you give any reason, why you love them? Love has no reason, no want, no need, it is just there, complete all by itself. Love grows stronger and more beautiful. It is its own foundation which cannot be shaken, come what may.
When a man loves a woman, who loves him in return, their relationship will last for the rest of their lives. They don’t want or need something from one another, they just love each other.