The 7 deadly sins of a healthy relationship may seem obvious at first, but are you sure you aren’t committing any of them? Let’s take a closer look.
Healthy, working, loving relationships all have one thing in common—they don’t commit any of the deadly sins of relationships. But if any of the seven sins listed below are committed in your relationship, your relationship has become a relationsh*t. Relationsh*ts are when relationships become anything but healthy, loving, or functional.
When you’re in a relationship built around the basics of love and respect, you never find yourself second guessing anything. Period. You also won’t be paranoid, insecure, or assume the worst.
Unfortunately, if your relationship endured any of the deadly sins, the same cannot be said. You won’t assume the worst, because you will be going through it.
What are the seven deadly sins of relationships?
While there are numerous sins to commit in a relationship, the following seven are by far the worst of the bunch.
#1 Cheating. This one should honestly come as no surprise. It’s the number one relationship deadly sin. Once someone cheats in a relationship, the trust is broken. And trust is everything in a healthy relationship.
Healthy relationships don’t orbit around the cheating-and-broken-trust sun, no matter how badly you would like them to. If someone has been unfaithful in your relationship, if the trust is broken, your relationship is broken, too.
Sure, you find ways to overcome the effects of the betrayal. When unfaithfulness taints your relationship, it’s next to impossible to restore it to its former glory. [Read: Relationship without trust: Can *or should* it last?]
#2 Lying. A slightly less painful sin than cheating, but still a huge sin nonetheless. Lying to your partner immediately puts strain on your trust. It doesn’t matter if anyone finds out about the lie. The mere fact that there is deception involved in your relationship shows how the liar places very little value on their partner’s trust.
The truth always comes out, one way or another. Even one little lie diminishes the love and respect between you and your partner. The nature, the gravity, or even the circumstances of the lie doesn’t even matter. A lie is a lie. It will always be that much harder to know if anything either of you says is true. [Read: How to stop lying – To yourself and your partner]
#3 Lack of communication. It’s hard to imagine in this tech-driven world we live in, a relationship failing due to a lack of communication. But that’s my point of this relationship deadly sin. Using your technological device to communicate is often more convenient than it is effective.
It’s great that you tune in to your friends, family, and quickly text your partner that you need them to pick up milk, but it’s not the way for you to communicate on a daily basis, especially not to your partner.
Sending a heart-shaped emoji is not the same thing as saying “I love you” in person. The same way posting an emotional quote is not the same as letting your partner know something’s bothering you in your relationship. [Read: Romance is dying a slow death: Is technology to blame?]
#4 Repulsion. Being physically attracted to your partner is extremely important when it comes to healthy and long-lasting relationships. If you ever find yourself completely turned off by your partner because of their physical traits, it won’t be long before you start to resent your partner for “letting themselves go” or to run into the arms of someone more appealing.
Even if you both get fat or you both sit around in ratty old shirts and sweats, it pays to dress up every occasionally, or try to be more active again to keep that spark of attraction alive. Without the attraction that first brought you two together, you only end up drifting further and further apart. [Read: 25 must-know relationship rules for a happy romance]
#5 Money matters. Money does matter. But it shouldn’t be the foundation of your relationship. Having money is necessary and even convenient, but the love you bear your partner shouldn’t be proportional to the contents of their bank account.
Striving to have money to live a comfortable life and go on awesome dates and buy presents for each other is reasonable. However, fighting over money you don’t even need is a grave sin that shows you’re both shallow enough to put money before a loving relationship. [Read: What to do if your partner makes less money than you?]
#6 Work. It’s important to create a healthy work/life balance when in a relationship. Yes, providing for your partner, family, or spouse is important. It’s just as important as giving them your time and attention. Making your partner feel like they’re not a priority is one of the biggest relationship sins you could ever commit.
No one is “too busy” to have time for someone they care about. A text message, a quick call, or even an hour set aside for a lunch date can all be squeezed into even the busiest of schedules. Not doing so is more of an issue of not caring enough than it is of being too busy. [Read: How to save your relationship: 16 practical ways to make it]
#7 Complacency. Last, but not the least of the deadly sins, is complacency. Or being so content you both start to get too comfortable with each other. It’s fine to be comfortable in your relationship, but that sense of comfort easily slips into being too lazy to try anything new.
You know you love each other. Why bother trying to change anything, right? Wrong. Relationships easily become boring when all you ever do is go on the same dates, watch the same movies, do the same hobbies, year in, year out. You need excitement, growth, and most of all, passion! In lacking this, you allow your relationship to go stale.
As with any other kind of sin, it’s never too late to repent. All of the deadly sins of relationships listed above can be remedied, though it will take a lot of hard work, patience, and understanding to do so.