Relationships are complex. In fact, we might as well call them love riddles! Love can feel like a plague of riddles that no one has the answers to.
I know some people like riddles, but sometimes I feel like my whole world is a riddle! And since I can rarely figure it out, I am not a big fan. When it comes to love, people like me would say the whole thing is a just a big ol’ love riddle.
There are some components of love that are nothing short of riddling. Just like those irritating phrases that people utter when something happens like “everything happens for a reason,” there are some common relationship riddles that we all experience, for which there are no answers.
Some riddles we can solve, while others we can’t. In a relationship, there is so much gray area that you may think you have solved one thing, and then another issue arises. The older I get, the more I find that life is all about uncertainty, the unknown, and things we can’t explain. In other words… it’s a riddle.
The top 20 love riddles that you just can’t figure out
If you feel that you have been a part of many love riddles, the good news is that you aren’t in it alone. There are things that we all find puzzling. So here are 20 love riddles that leave all of us scratching our heads in bewilderment.
#1 Why is it that the more you chase, the more they run? – There is a horrible ritual that goes on in some relationships. The more you chase them, the faster they run away from you. [Read: How to stop selfish people from hurting you]
However, if you let them be, you are left feeling lonely. In this type of relationship, there is no answer or solution, it just goes around and round until someone gives in.
#2 Why do you only want things you can’t have? – The sexiest thing in the world is something that you can’t have. We all have a secret desire to want those things that are out of our reach. Like a drink of water after the well runs dry, in relationships, we often don’t want what we have until we can’t have it anymore. And then it looks really desirable again.
#3 Why can’t you live with them, but you can’t live without them? – The opposite sex is so frustrating to live with. You know we were made differently for a purpose, but sometimes that purpose feels like it is solely to make you miserable, upset, and desperate. [Read: Life-changing truths you need to know if you feel unlovable]
There are times when you will be like the best ever, and then a week later, you are all done. That is the cyclical nature of a relationship. Why can’t we all just get along?
#4 Why do you want to leave them one minute, but then have sex with them the next? – Anyone who has ever been in love knows that there are times when you are yelling at the top of your lungs – literally in each other’s faces.
And yet there is a force inside you that just wants to grab them by the shoulders, throw them on the bed, and have the best, most energized sex, you have ever had. How is it possible to both love and hate your mate all at the same time? [Read: Secrets of a love-hate relationship – Can they ever work?]
#5 Why are we both best friends and each other’s biggest nightmare? – Knowing each other’s insecurities, we have the ability to boost our partner up – but only to do things later that can just tear them down at the very heart of who they are. What is it that makes us want to both nurture and hurt the people we love most? Some days we are best friends, and others we act like enemies.
#6 Why do the sexes speak a different language? – Why is it that what you say is different from what he hears? If we could all just speak the same language, it would make our lives so much easier. It doesn’t matter how many times you say something, or even if you try different ways to say it, there are times when they just aren’t going to understand you – and vice versa. [Read: How to keep a conversation going with the opposite sex]
#7 What makes someone attractive? – Science has tried to explain what makes someone attractive, and basically it is that their face is symmetrical. But that can’t be all of it.
You can find someone “attractive,” or even “hot,” but not be hot for them. What is in the chemistry that two people have that makes them absolutely crazy for one another – even sometimes when they aren’t good for each other?
#8 How many times do you have to say “I’m done?” – Why is it that fights don’t end until you are standing in front of someone saying “I’m done.” You wouldn’t ever fight with a friend the way that you fight with your mate. If you did, you wouldn’t be friends anymore. What is it that drives you to the brink and makes you want to leave one moment, and then an hour later, you know you can’t live without them?
#9 What makes you lose attraction for someone? – If you found them attractive at one point and had all this chemistry for each other, what happens to it? Where does it go?
I get the whole idea that you fight so much, then you eventually become unattractive. But what is it about time that ruins attraction? If I eat the same ice cream every day for a year, I may need a break. But it doesn’t mean I don’t ever want it again.
What makes you suddenly go from va-va-voom to yuck?! [Read: Signs of attraction in a first conversation]
#10 Why does it have to be so hard? – Of all the love riddles, this one may be the most universal. Why do relationships have to be so hard? I don’t know anyone who doesn’t battle through the same issues with their spouse. But why? Why is it that we can’t all just live and let live, without the constant need to control or to win?
#11 Why do they say they don’t want to talk, and then pick up their cell phone 24/7? – Grrrrr… this is one of the really annoying love riddles. Why does a girl or guy tell you that they just aren’t into talking, and they go for weeks on end not saying a word to you, but then they end up answering their cell phone about 20 times in your presence to talk to other people? What makes their significant other so less worthy to talk to?
#12 Why do they tell you to go, but then when you do, they freak out? – The push and the pull is one of the biggest riddles in any relationship. We have all felt the “I want you to go” only to see them walking away and think “don’t go!” One of the hardest riddles of any relationship is why there always has to be so much dichotomy in our feelings and emotions. [Read: How to get your self-esteem back after a breakup]
#13 Why does each partner feel like they treat the other better than the other one treats them? – If you ask each partner, “who treats who better,” they almost always will say that they treat their significant other better. That can’t be possibly true, simply due to odds.
Why is it that we all feel like we are always working harder, trying harder, and loving more? If you ask someone if they are better to their friends, or if their friends are better to them, they would likely say “we are equal.” But there is something about a romantic relationship that frequently has both parties keeping score. [Read: Are you being taken for granted? 16 discreet signs]
#14 Why can’t men and women just be friends? – Ahhhh… this is one of the age-old love riddles. Have you ever tried to just be friends with someone of the opposite sex? It is great for about a couple of months, but anytime that you open up to someone of the other gender, you are building a bond to romance.
The only riddle I can solve for you here is this: “No. It is not possible to be best friends with someone of the opposite sex if you are both heterosexual.” There will always come a time when you think “what if?”
#15 Why is it that the more you give, the worse you feel? – Why is that the more you give, the worse you feel about yourself and the relationship? Investing too much into someone who you don’t feel is investing back is a horrible feeling. In a relationship, it is even more defeating. And it’s one of the biggest love riddles. [Read: Selflessness in relationships – How to do the right thing]
#16 Why is it that sometimes alcohol makes everything better, yet, other times it makes it all worse?– Sometimes alcohol can make you go out and have a great time together. But other times, it is like the fire that lights things up between the two of you. What is it about being inebriated that either turns us into lovers or fighters? And how do you know which is coming?
#17 Why do you want to leave one minute, and then fear they are going to leave the next? – Why is it that you are packing your things to walk out the door one minute and then, in the heat of the fight, they get up to leave. Then you freak out thinking they are going to be gone forever.
It is a total riddle why you had your things ready to go, sitting in front of you, but you don’t want to be the one left behind when say they want to leave.
#18 Why is it that when things are the best, someone has to go and screw it all up? – Why does there always have to be a kink in the road? Anyone who has ever been in a relationship knows that there always has to be something that fucks it all up. Sometimes all it takes is one word that can blow the whole thing up. [Read: Is your over-analyzing sabotaging your relationship?]
#19 Why can you have the relationship everyone desires and yet be so unhappy in it? – This is the king of love riddles! Why is it that from the outside you seemingly have what everyone thinks is admirable and desirable, but within the relationship, you feel lonely, miserable, and unwanted? Why is the grass always greener on the other side of the fence? [Read: 15 reasons why couples get bored with their relationship]
#20 Why does a kiss feel so damn good? – It doesn’t matter what is going on. Whether you are loving or hating one another, when they put their lips to yours, it is like magic. What is it about touching lips that makes things okay, makes you forget that you are angry, and stops everything dead in its tracks?
There are so many love riddles in relationships, and that makes it hard to navigate them every day. The most frustrating thing is that sometimes it feels like there aren’t any solutions. So you just have to hang on and enjoy the ride!