Love is patient love is kind stems from the Bible. But anyone who has heard it has probably wondered how to truly love someone for better or worse.
Who hasn’t sat at a wedding and heard the reading that begins, “love is patient, love is kind” and thought to themselves that they could be a better person to their mate?
We would all like to be perfect human beings, but the problem is that we can’t always be. Except for Mother Teresa and a couple of other saints, we are all a product of human nature, which is not always patient, nor is it always kind.
The rules for love is patient love is kind
To be the type of lover who feels good when they hear the reading and know that they are doing everything humanly possible to treat their mate with the utmost respect, you have to conduct yourself in a kind manner.
Even in the midst of a fight, a stressful day, or when you are just downright pissed, learning the lessons from the verse, love is patient love is kind will help you have a more satisfying and happy relationship. [Read: 12 real signs of true love in a relationship]
#1 Love is patient. Love doesn’t have a timeframe. There is no golden schedule that a relationship has. If you love someone, you have to be patient enough to let them make their own decisions and guide their own fate.
You can’t push your mate into making life decisions or having a timeline for when things are supposed to happen. Love can only flourish when both partners are all in, and sometimes that takes one more time than another.
Love is patient is also about learning to respect boundaries and giving your partner time when they need it. Not crowding, forcing, or pressuring your significant other, is required. Yes, it’s sometimes easier said than done, but well worth the peace.
#2 Love is kind. Love is all about being kind to one another – hence the phrase, love is patient love is kind. But kindness is not always an easy thing in the heat of a fight or when you are really angry. To be kind, you have to put yourself in your partner’s shoes and never say things that you don’t mean or can’t take back. Remember, even if we say things in the heat of a moment, they still count. [Read: 25 must-follow relationship rules for happy love]
Learning to hold your tongue, even when you are really mad is crucial for long-lasting to love. Once you say something mean, it only opens the floodgates and desensitizes you the next time you get into a fight. Saying mean things is like ringing a bell. When words wound, the scars remain forever.
Being kind also means that you have to put your partner’s feelings ahead of your own sometimes. If they are having a hard day, you may have to take some of that bad attitude. When they need an extra hand, you may have to put your own hurdles on hold.
#3 Love is not envious. It is difficult sometimes to always let someone else shine. To love someone, you have to recognize that you are a team, and that when one excels, you both do.
There is no competition in a marriage; it is two people working toward similar goals like health and happiness. It is difficult sometimes not to be envious when your significant other is getting all the praise or having a really successful period, but love is about not envying them for their successes, rather celebrating them together. Remember, love is patient love is kind. [Read: 10 signs your partner is truly supportive of your goals]
#4 Love does not boast. If you are experiencing a euphoric time in your life, it is okay to bask in it, but boasting is another whole animal. Feeling accomplished and proud is okay, but they are not things that you need to throw around.
Love isn’t about talking about how wonderful you are or all you are doing right; it is the kind and respectful way that people act toward each other when they are in love.
#5 Love is not proud. It isn’t that you shouldn’t be proud of yourself and your accomplishments, but you shouldn’t be proud of yourself for doing the basic things that you are supposed to do.
When you see your part in the relationship as doing someone a favor, you are doing them for the wrong reasons. Being in love isn’t about doing things out of obligation, but about loving with all of your heart. [Read: 15 rules to be a good partner in the relationship]
#6 Love does not dishonor others. When we say love is patient love is kind, it means you don’t disrespect the other person. That means many things. Loving someone means not belittling them or making them feel less than.
It means respecting their needs and successes as well as their failures. Love also honors the fact that there are two people in the relationship.
Not going outside of it to talk about the other person is part of honoring your mate. Being committed physically and emotionally are required for love to grow. That means forsaking others and making them your number one go-to person.
#7 Love is not self-seeking. Self-seeking behaviors are those that are only for your own benefit. When you love someone, you are no longer just one person. When you are in a relationship, sometimes you have to put the other person’s needs above your own.
Sacrifice is not always an easy thing, but to have an enduring love, it is a necessary one if we want to know that love is patient love is kind. [Read: 14 common reasons why relationships fail often]
#8 Love is not easily angered. Anyone who has ever had kids, a job, or any stress in their lives, knows that some days are harder not to be short-tempered than others. Getting angry quickly does nothing to solve a conflict, it only makes it harder to communicate.
To love someone means that you have to have a great amount of compassion and try to not put too much tension into any situation. That may mean putting things on hold for a bit to cool down or going for a walk. It’s a difficult thing to do, but holding back anger and increasing empathy will help you to find your happily ever after. [Read: Where there is love there is life – love makes us better]
#9 Love does not keep a record of wrongs. When in love, you have to not only forgive, but also forget. All too often in a relationship we bring up old things that someone has done, or we bring old fights in which cloud new arguments. When you love someone, you shouldn’t count the number of times they have done something bad or the number of times you have sacrificed.
That will lead you both to react in ways that aren’t appropriate for the discussion at hand. Love means never keeping score or taking a tally of who has been “better or worse.” It means looking at everything as if it is its own situation, not letting the past cloud the future.
#10 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in truth. Imagine that you let your significant other go on a trip, even though you didn’t want them to or you fought about it ahead of time. While on the trip, they do something stupid and hurt themselves.
The key to love is patient love is kind is not to find delight in being right, or gloating about the bad things that result from you being right. You don’t need to be Captain Obvious and point out that you didn’t want them to go. They know the truth of the situation. Let the truth reign instead of raining on their parade when they need you most. [Read: 21 big signs of emotional abuse you may be overlooking]
#11 Love always protects. Loving someone means that you want to protect them and shelter them from any storm. Protecting can come in emotional and physical forms.
That may mean stepping in to let your friends and family know that talking bad about your mate is not acceptable, or guarding the house if someone breaks in. Love is about protecting the whole person from head to toe to soul.
#12 Love always trusts. The cornerstone of any relationship is trust. Without trust, you can’t have love. It is difficult to make yourself vulnerable and take a leap of faith in another person by letting them know all your weaknesses and failings.
But, to have a successful relationship, you have to trust that your partner will always do what they can to be what and who you need. You also need to trust that they would never do anything to intentionally harm you. Because love is patient love is kind. [Read: How to build trust in a relationship and make it last]
#13 Love always hopes. Even when things are really ugly, you have a bad fight, or you just can’t seem to get out of a rut, love always hopes for the best. When you make a commitment to love someone, that doesn’t come with conditions.
When you love someone, sometimes you just have to hold on and hope that they will make the right decision and that love will show you the way to get back on track.
#14 Love always perseveres. Whatever challenges we face in life, love is the one thing that keeps us going. It’s a basic need like food, clothing, and shelter. Love is the thing that allows us to survive and thrive. Without love, life is empty.
Love is that bright light that shines to let us know that things will get better and that there is always someone out there protecting, trusting, and believing in us – even when we don’t always believe in ourselves. [Read: 15 things you HAVE to talk about in a perfect relationship]
The phrase love is patient love is kind is a bible verse that is a part of many wedding nuptials with reason. It is a reminder of what love is, how hard it can be sometimes, and how miraculous it is to have one person to travel through life with.
Relationships are not easy, and anyone who has ever had one knows that. But it’s true that love is patient love is kind. Love is an action. And the answer to all things.