Your first time naked with your lover may give you some pretty common insecurities. Here are fears people have about their birthday suits.
People have certain insecurities when it comes to sleeping with someone new, and most of them have to do with their bodies. No matter how many first-time-naked’s you have, there always seems to be that first time naked fear that comes along with dating somebody new.
Being naked means, in a sense, revealing your true self. There are no push-up bras to make your breasts look fuller, no jeans to hide how big or small your dick is, and no high-waisted leggings to flatten your tummy. What is your partner going to think?
It’s hard not to think about what we look like the first time we’re getting naked with someone. After all, there are certain unflattering angles, scents, shapes, and other mishaps to deal with. Hanging up your hang-ups about your naked body is much easier said than done. It’s totally normal to feel nervous the first time you show some skin with your partner.
Being first time naked and the biggest fears when you’re in the buff
You may hope that having an orgasm is going to be the biggest thought on your mind when you first shack up with someone new, but your the fact that you’re naked for the first time is probably going to dredge up a long list of woes. Here are eight common fears people have about disrobing.
#1 Pubic designs. Does your partner hate pubic hair or bask in its comforting fluff? One fear you may have for your first time naked experience with your new partner is what they may think of your trimmings. Nearly everybody has a preference for what they like to see on a partner, whether it’s trimmed, waxed, or a full bush.
Solution: Male or female, your partner’s going to appreciate you being cleaned up below the belt. Avoid waxing completely or going the big 70’s bush route for your first time. Instead, go the safe middle ground and trim your pubes down to an appropriate length. [Read: Trim, shave, or natural: The real score on the bush]
#2 Cut versus uncut. For men, their first time naked is when they finally reveal the big question: circumcised or not? An uncut penis has a hooded foreskin that snuggles the shaft and head like a wee sleeping bag. A cut penis basically looks like it’s wearing a Darth Vader helmet.
Whatever the case, most men feel nervous about showing it off, especially if they sport an au natural peen. [Read: Sex with an uncircumcised man – Myths, and everything else]
#3 A weighty game. There’s nothing that kills passion faster than worrying about your weight during sex. Your first time naked with a partner should be full of fireworks and orgasms, not thoughts about what angle works best for your lover’s eyes. Don’t worry so much about your lumps and bumps.
Nobody has the perfect body, including your partner. Instead, focus on your amazing first time naked together experience and get excited about doing it again in the future. No, we don’t all have six-packs and killer muscles, but you’re not trying to win a body building competition. You’re trying to have sex. [Read: 8 ways to love your body, no matter its size]
#4 Penis size – Is she laughing at my dick? One study revealed that out of 200 men, 68% of men were concerned with their penis size. While that was only out of several hundred, you can rightly assume most fellas echo their same concerns. More daunting than his personal opinion on his mini-me, men are actually more concerned with what their partners think of their penis size.
After all, it’s nearly hammered into their brains that women like a big dick. The awful truth? Women do prefer larger penises—but not as large as you might think! In a research study where women were given 3D models of dongs to help choose their preferred size, most women agreed respectable 6.4 inches in length and 4.8 in circumference. Basically, just above average.
That being said, so long as you aren’t rocking a micropenis and you know how to make her cum, she’s not likely to care how big *or small* you might be. [Read: The 13 types of penises that women love… or laugh at!]
#5 Actual boob size. Similar to penis size, many girls end up fretting about revealing their actual breasts. Victoria Secret has made a liar out of most women’s breasts. Natural breasts are very rarely perfectly round, and there is a wide variety of nipples to be had.
Your boobs might look bangin’ in a push-up bra, but what’s your lover going to think when you drop drastically from a 34D to a 34B? [Read: Boob talk: Yes, your breasts are perfectly normal]
#6 Stretchmarks and cellulite. It’s estimated that nearly 80% of Americans have stretch marks. They are a normal part of pregnancy and puberty. Stretch marks also occur when you lose or gain weight too quickly. Both men and women have them and they’re nothing to be ashamed of.
Similarly, a large number of women and a smaller number of men also have cellulite. If you’re sleeping with someone who cares about a line or bump on your body, you seriously should reconsider who you’re dating.
#7 Vagina lips and vulva looks. Vagina lips are so varied and unique they may as well be a collection of Picasso paintings. Many women feel awkward about the way their vaginas, particularly vulvas, look. She might worry her vagina doesn’t look puffy and young or that her inner lips that seem to swallow her outer ones.
Trust us, your man couldn’t care less. In fact, he’s probably fascinated to see all of the facets of your body that make you unique. Really, he’s just happy he’s near a naked vagina. [Read: What does a vagina taste like? People tell it like it is]
#8. How do you stack up against a former flame? Do you know the phrase “Comparison is the thief of joy?” This phrase could not ring more true, especially when it comes to your body. We have this awful habit of comparing our bodies to literally everyone: models, Instagrammers, celebs, and oh yeah–exes.
Your life is not going to get any easier if you’re wondering how your dick stacks up against her well-hung ex, or if your man’s ex-girlfriend had a flatter stomach than you do. [Read: 8 steps to get back your body confidence in the bedroom]
You are naked with your partner, so stop thinking of somebody else being naked with them. They’ve already seen their ex naked, it’s old news. You’re the new hot bod in their life, and you can bet your ass they’re even more excited to see you naked than anyone else who came before you.[Read: Shy getting naked? How to confidentially take it all off]
Be proud of your body. Seeing your partner for the first time naked, and vice versa, should be exciting—not bone-chilling. Take confidence in knowing your partner is totally turned on by the thought of your naked body, so relax!