In a world that seems to glorify being in a relationship, I can’t help but feel out of place. Why, you ask? Because I don’t want a relationship.
Being in a relationship had really been the focus of my adolescence. I’m not completely alone in this, either. Most of my friends have had boyfriends since they were 13, and this is considered normal in today’s society.
In fact, if you’re single and not searching for a significant other to post pictures with online and gush about to your friends, you’re considered weird. The thought of someone not wanting to be in a committed relationship is just plain unfathomable to some people.
Relationships are expected nowadays
Honestly, I can’t tell you how many times I have been at a gathering with friend and family and had people ask me whom I was dating. Not IF I was dating anyone, but WHOM I was dating, as if they just expected me to always have someone.
Because they did expect that out of me. Because society expects me to be dating. Because I can’t be a girl in my early 20s and not be in a relationship with someone – apparently. It’s expected that if you are of a certain age, then you’d better have someone by your side, or else you’ll end up alone.
Well, I don’t want a relationship right now
Now, that may sound unusual coming from a young gal like myself, but it’s true. Sure, there are a lot of good reasons why people would want a relationship, but I just found more reasons why I DON’T want a relationship. And here’s exactly why.
#1 I need to focus on my career. This sounds slightly cliché, but it’s true now more than ever. I can’t be in a relationship and focus on my career at the same time, because one of those would take up too much time and ruin the other. Being single allows me to get ahead in my career so I can be in a good place before finding a life partner. [Read: Love or career? How to make the right choice]
#2 I don’t have time for a relationship. With my career taking off and everything that goes along with being a girl in my early 20s, I don’t have time to cuddle and watch movies with someone. Almost every minute of my day is taken up by something that is going to get me ahead or make me happy.
#3 I want to better myself right now. I don’t think I’m fully happy with who I am and therefore, I don’t think I can be happy with someone else. That being said, I don’t want a relationship because I want to make sure that I’m the best that I can be before giving myself to someone else. [Read: 11 tips to fall in love with yourself and be a better you]
#4 I haven’t really been single… ever. And you know what, I need to be. You can learn an awful lot in a relationship, but you can sometimes learn a lot more when you’ve taken the time to be single, and right now that’s what I need.
#5 There’s nobody whom I can see myself being with long-term. So what’s the point of getting into a relationship with someone whom I can only see myself dating for a short while? If there’s no one around with whom I would consider being in a relationship, then I’m not going to be just for the sake of saying that I’m taken. [Read: 8 very obvious signs you’re a serial monogamist]
#6 I’m not emotionally interested in it. I have so many other things to worry about than having a boyfriend. I just don’t have any emotional interest in needing to be at someone’s beck and call 24/7. It just doesn’t sound fun to me at all.
#7 I’m happy with my life as it is. Why should I seek out someone who is going to “make me happy” when I’m already perfectly happy with life? Sure, a partner could make me happy, but I’m not going to go out of my way to make it happen when I’m perfectly fine with how my life is going right now.
#8 I don’t want anyone influencing my life choices. Being a young gal, I have a ton of life-changing decisions to make within the next year or so. If I were in a relationship, I would have to think about what someone else wanted and not just what’s best for me.
If I was in a relationship, I can’t take a job across the country or even travel across the globe without having to seriously consider the feelings of someone else. I don’t want to have that type of constraint on all of the options for my potential future. [Read: 10 decisions you should never let your partner make]
#9 Relationships are too much work. I mean, if you’ve ever been in a serious relationship, then you know what I mean. Planning dates, making sure you’re spending enough time with them, talking to them throughout the day. It’s exhausting! I’m already tired on a regular basis, and I just don’t have the energy to put into a relationship right now.
#10 I don’t think I can fully commit to someone right now. Committing to a relationship is a lot more than just changing your relationship status on Facebook. You’re responsible for someone else’s happiness now, and I just can’t commit to that kind of responsibility, despite what society tells me. [Read: 12 obvious signs you have big commitment issues]
#11 I’m too selfish. Well, I’m just not going to sugarcoat it. I’m selfish. I like watching the shows I want to on Netflix, I like spending loads of money on a single outfit, I like having free time to myself instead of being forced to spend it with someone else in order to make the relationship work. And right now, it’s okay for me to be selfish.
#12 I’m not even close to being ready to settle down with someone. And since a relationship means putting the brakes on anything else I had going with someone, I just don’t want it. I’m not ready to settle down with someone and start a life. I have too much living on my own to do yet. [Read: 16 signs you’re not ready for a serious relationship]
#13 I like having the WHOLE bed to myself. Actually, I NEED the whole bed to myself. I sprawl out like nobody’s business when I sleep, and I just can’t get a good night’s sleep when I have to sleep with someone else. It might be a minor reason, but it’s an important one… at least for now.
#14 Random hook-ups are still fun. And until picking up a hot guy at a bar and taking him home to have amazing drunk sex is no longer fun, I will be single. I’m not ready to give up this part of my life just because society is telling me that I should shack up and get married soon. I just don’t want to. [Read: Dating your one-night stand: Easy or sleazy?]
#15 I like having my freedom. I know that you have some freedom when you’re in a relationship, but not nearly as much as when you’re single. I can wear what I want, do what I want, see whomever I want, and I don’t have to report it to anyone.
I don’t have to make sure my significant other is okay with the fact that I want to go away for a week on a camping trip, because I don’t have one! [Read: 15 reasons why being single can be a lot of fun, too!]
While I can understand those who do want a relationship, at this point in my life, it’s just not for me. These reasons are just a few of why I don’t want a relationship right now, and I’m perfectly fine with it!