I wish I knew these before…
Never underestimate the damaging powers of seemingly “small” silly habits that happen from day to day. Things that seem minor or even “funny” at the time may slowly be leaving a mark on your partner without you even knowing about it. Here are ten of the most common silly habits that are damaging relationships everyday, see if you mistakenly do any of these. Let’s begin.
10. Avoiding talking about problems
The first one on the list is the most common of all, people often avoid talking about problems to avoid further argument and fights, they fail to see that by avoiding the talk they’re actually creating more problems for each other. Whenever something happens between the two of you, make sure you thoroughly talk it out, make sure every issue regarding the problem is dealt with and talked about and make sure you give proper closure to the problem. An argument or problem ignored is actually the cause of an even bigger fight in the future, don’t take it lightly.
9. Pretending to agree
Never pretend to agree with your partner, agree only if you mean it. If you give them the wrong idea about yourself, you’ll lead them into a completely different state of mind where they will start expecting much more than you can give. Be truthful and honest, if you don’t agree with something they’re talking about then just say it, don’t pretend to like something just because they like something. The key to a great relationship is always being true to the person you are, that’s the only way you can be true to the person you’re with.
8. Poking fun at them, a little too much
It may seem fun at first, but it can very easily start hurting someone if you keep at it without thinking about the other person. It’s all fun and games until someone gets hurt. When you want to be funny, make sure you’re careful with your words, because you may just take it as a harmless joke but that same harmless joke might have a trigger for someone else. A trigger that connects to some brutal incident from their past that instantly brings them back to those horrible days. So make sure you’re very careful with your words, words can never be taken back, even if you never meant to hurt someone with them.
7. Being careless about yourself
Your relationship starts from you. If you’re careless about yourself and your well being, your partner is going to get worried about you and will start telling you to take better care of yourself. It’s not very attractive when you love someone and care about someone with all of your heart while you don’t really care much about yourself, you can never be truly happy with someone until you’re completely happy with yourself.
6. Complaining too much
My ex used to complain about me all the time, notice how I said “my ex”. People who are very hard to please or are never happy no matter what you do for them are the people who will always be lonely in life, because they expect to be treated like royalty, people need to be more down-to-earth and practical. Don’t complain too much about your partner and don’t let them complain too much about you either.
5. Creating scenes in public
Another thing my ex loved doing, creating scenes in public. She always used to pick out the worst of places to fight, where people would see us fight and probably take her side because she always used to cry afterwards. The fights that happen between the two of you should be BETWEEN THE TWO OF YOU! No one else needs to know about your problems, your problems are private and they need to be talked about and sorted out PRIVATELY.
4. The silent treatment
The silent treatment has never worked for anyone, it’s just hurtful. If you’re angry at your partner, just say it. Talk about it, don’t keep it to yourself and definitely don’t be quiet about it. If you start giving them the silent treatment, you’ll start inflicting pain on them, do you really want to inflict pain on them? I don’t think so. It’s always wise to talk things out, communication is key in every relationship. Silence is only “golden” when Ari Gold says it, this is real life.
3. Keeping tabs
Never keep tabs of who has caused more fights in the relationship, it’s not going to be good for either of you. You two should try your best to help each other forget about the fights that happened in the past, not keep tabs on them. This is one of the most unhealthiest of habits I’ve seen in some relationships, when one of the two starts blaming the other for having more fights. Help each other grow, don’t bring each other down.
2. The “Masked Lies”
A lie is a lie, no matter how well it’s covered. Try not to get into the habit of lying, it’ll start off with a harmless white lie and slowly develop into a habit of much bigger and brutal lies that can seriously harm your relationship. Being truthful is the easiest way to be in a relationship. Yes, the truth may hurt sometimes, but it’s much better than the infinite pain caused when somebody finds out the web of your lies.
1. Making it all about “you”
I know I said that you need to love yourself before you love someone else, but it doesn’t mean that you make the entire relationship about you. A relationship consists of two people, their flaws and strengths combined, not just one person. When a relationship becomes focused on one person it isn’t a relationship anymore. Try your best to put every effort you can for your partner and vice versa.