- At the beginning of a love relationship, everything is still harmonious. But over time, the problems pile up and you just fight. Separation is often difficult for a couple, but sometimes unavoidable. The reasons why couples decide to go their separate ways are very often similar. We have dealt with the 9 most common signs of the end of a relationship and give you 3 valuable tips on how – in an emergency – you can best deal with the end of your love.
Why does a breakup hurt so much?
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When it comes to brain activity, someone suffering from lovesickness can be compared to a drug addict in withdrawal. Being in love puts you in a kind of intoxication. Your reward center in the brain is constantly pumping out dopamine and serotonin. You are full of happiness hormones and floating on cloud 9.
If your partner ends the partnership abruptly, the feeling of elation is suddenly missing and your body is in withdrawal. It can even show up as physical symptoms.
When a long-term relationship comes to an end, both partners find it difficult to accept it.
The pain of separation is usually not only felt by the person who has been left behind. Getting over a breakup is a very personal and individual thing. Some people take a lot of time and rest to come back to themselves before they are ready for something new again. But then some prefer to throw themselves straight into the nightlife or distract themselves with work, sports, or parties.
There is no right or wrong here. Everyone deals with pain differently. Nevertheless, it is important to take time for yourself, to allow feelings, and to conclude what happened emotionally.
9 signs that a relationship is ending
A breakup is often sad and painful, especially when it comes out of nowhere. This is less often the case. Far more often, there are some early signs that the relationship is broken. Do you ask yourself, ” When should you break up ?” ”
We have compiled the most common reasons for a relationship to end for you:
no more sex :
It is quite normal for the frequency of sexual intercourse to decrease over the years in a relationship. However, if there is an absolute lull in the bedroom over a longer period, this can lead to the end of a love affair. Above all, it is problematic if the sexual desires differ widely or if one partner constantly wants sex more often than the other.
Sex often plays a bigger role for men than for women. In a survey, 28 percent said they would break up because of bad sex. In comparison, this is only a reason for separation for 15 percent of the women surveyed.
To cheat on:
Mutual trust is the basis for a fulfilled partnership on an equal footing. After a fling, it’s extremely cracked. Many relationships cannot cope with this breach of trust and separation follows. Even if the betrayed decides to forgive their partner, it is very difficult to rebuild the lost trust. Many couples fail at this. Especially if it’s not just a one-off slip-up. An affair is therefore the most common reason for a breakup.
irreconcilable differences
cultural differences:
At the beginning of a partnership, you see your loved one through rose-colored glasses. You hardly notice potential conflict issues or convince yourself that they are not so bad. Over time, however, you will become less willing to compromise and no longer want to constantly have to cut back. This is particularly the case with couples from different cultures and can lead to problems.
It poses great challenges when a couple has different ideas about relationship life due to different cultures or religions. If you don’t manage to reconcile them, this can mean the end of your love.
Different priorities in life and family planning:
What do you want to achieve in the next few years? Where do you see yourself in five years? Where do you want to go together as a couple? Planning for the future is an essential factor for a functioning partnership. Children are a classic topic of controversy.
For example, if one partner wants to have offspring soon, while the other wants to explore the world first or is not at all sure whether he ever wants to start a family, this can create enormous tension. The question then is: Is your love strong enough that one renounces for the other? Or do you decide that your ideas about the future, unfortunately, don’t match and separate?
Self-realization and lack of freedom:
In a relationship, you and I suddenly become we. Two lives become one. If you also share an apartment, the living spaces merge more and more. It often happens that one of the partners feels overwhelmed by too much closeness and inhibited in his free development as an individual. Wanting to spend every free minute with your partner can be a sign of emotional codependency in a relationship. This damages a partnership in the long run and can even lead to a separation.
Do these examples sound familiar to you?
You are not alone, because 3 out of 5 women doubt their relationship:
Do you want to find out how your relationship is doing?
This free test will help you find out if your relationship still has a chance.
This test shows you whether your relationship still has a chance. With this unique test, we would like to allow you to get your problems with men under control. So take 1 minute and answer all 8 questions.
The results vary from person to person and you will be offered perfectly tailored solutions.
Missing or disturbed communication:
Communication is the be-all and end-all of a relationship. In-depth, honest conversations strengthen the bond between us. If a couple only talks superficially and about the essentials, this can indicate a relationship crisis. Happy couples talk openly about problems and have a good culture of discussion.
This means they are aware that their partner can’t read minds and speak up directly about things that bother them. The tone always makes the music, which is important in a relationship. Don’t eat your frustration into yourself, but communicate calmly and without starting a fight. If your conversations escalate quickly or you just remain silent to each other, this is a sign that the relationship is in trouble.
A lack of communication is a reason for the end of a relationship
Emotional or physical violence:
An absolute no-go in every relationship is violence! Whether physically or psychologically, if your partner becomes aggressive, your love doesn’t stand a chance. Your integrity comes first. If you find yourself in such a situation, there are numerous places you can get help and support from if you are affected by domestic violence.
The staff at the “ Violence against Women ” helpline are there for you around the clock, free of charge and 100% confidential. Don’t hesitate to ask for help or get advice without obligation.
End of relationship: time and money
Money and financial situation:
Finances play a major role in many relationships and often lead to arguments. Conflicts arise especially when the partners have different ways of dealing with money. If the general financial situation is difficult, nerves are often on edge. The couple is irritable and blames each other. In many cases, this can lead to the end of a relationship.
No time for a partner:
According to a survey, a lack of time together is a reason for around 20 percent of men and women to end the partnership. Do you increasingly prefer to spend time with your friends than with your partner? Do you voluntarily stay longer at work because you don’t want to go home? There is a risk that you will grow apart in the long run. When time with your partner is more work than play and you start keeping contact to a minimum, it’s a sign that your time together is ending.
Do these examples sound familiar to you?
You are not alone, because 3 out of 5 women doubt their relationship:
Do you want to find out how your relationship is doing?
This free test will help you find out if your relationship still has a chance.
Start test here
This test shows you whether your relationship still has a chance. With this unique test, we would like to allow you to get your problems with men under control. So take 1 minute and answer all 8 questions.
The results vary from person to person and you will be offered perfectly tailored solutions.
End of relationship: What not to do
It happened: your boyfriend broke up! At this stage, you are very emotional and everything feels terrible. However, don’t let your negative feelings completely control you.
Stalking your ex and not accepting the breakup
Chase after your ex-partner and shower him with declarations of love. Even if it feels like maybe at the moment, your happiness in life does not depend on one person. Your ex has decided that his love is no longer enough for a relationship. Accept his decision, even if it’s difficult for you. Getting yourself into a relationship of dependency damages your self-worth and doesn’t bring your partner back.
Hide at home and isolate yourself from the outside world
Don’t spend all day alone in your bed. Understandably, you get the impulse to shut yourself off from the outside world and suffer on your own. To a certain extent, this is legitimate. But be careful not to slip into a lovesickness spiral. Even if your relationship is over, there are still your friends and family who love you more than anything and are there to comfort you. Focus on the amazing people who are still in your life.
Not processing the end of love properly
Do you immediately go from a romantic relationship to a friendship? You have been very close for a long time and know each other well. So it is desirable that you stay in contact even after the separation and that a nice friendship develops at best. Give yourself some time and space for this process.
Even if it initially feels as if you could easily slide from one relationship status to another, the next lovesickness is inevitable. Namely at the latest when your boyfriend comes around the corner with his new girl. Give yourself time to process the breakup and move on with it completely. Only then are you both ready for an honest friendship.
Friends stay after the relationship ends
How do you deal with the end of a relationship?
It’s not easy to get back on your feet after a long-term partnership has ended. However, one thing is for sure: if you make the effort to consciously process the end of the relationship, you will find your way back to your center and see things more quickly.
Here are 3 tips on how to regain hope after the end:
Your value is not dependent on your relationship status!
If you’re the one who was broken up with, intense self-doubt is often added to the pain of separation. If the reason for the breakup is another woman, you might also compare yourself. You ask yourself: What did I do wrong? Why am I not enough for him? Self-doubt sabotage your happiness! Don’t just look for the reason for the breakup within yourself.
Many different factors lead to the end of a partnership. Try to change your perspective on things, learn from the mistakes of both of you for the next love, and above all: Never forget that your worth doesn’t decrease just because someone can’t recognize it! You are adorable just the way you are!
You don’t have to go through this alone!
Share your grief with friends or family. Even if you’re not ready to talk about your feelings, just not being alone can help. You’ve been part of a team for a long time now and are used to having company. The first few days can be a challenge. How about inviting your girlfriends over to a girls’ night out again? You don’t have to do anything grand. Cooking together or just watching TV reduces the feeling of being all alone in the world.
Not everyone puts a breakup away easily and quickly. In some cases, therapeutic support during the separation phase can make sense. When thoughts of suicide become more frequent or a depressive mood lasts for a long time.
You can get help with separation from numerous state and church organizations
Institutions such as Caritas or Pro Familia. These consultations and offers are usually free of charge. Do you have the feeling that you cannot cope and process your relationship break-up on your own? Then seek professional help and psychological support!
Let out the anger!
Anger is absolutely fine. It’s good to let your feelings come up and not suppress them. The only way to overcome your sadness and anger is to go through the feelings. But: Avoid completely getting into hate and revenge fantasies. Try to see the breakup as an opportunity.
A chance for a new beginning with someone who appreciates and loves you. It can also help release your emotional anger physically. Scream into your pillow, vent your anger on a punching bag or use the energy for an intense workout!
