Tuesday, October 26, 2021
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10 Sure Signs You’ve Got the Fear of Commitment!


Are you afraid of commitment?

Do you get cold feet each time you find yourself getting addicted or dependent on someone?

Or worse, do you find that you enjoy dating but hate thinking about the future of a relationship, especially when it comes to marriage?

The fear of commitment can ruin even the best of relationships.

But yet, for most of us, it’s unavoidable, and at times, even inevitable.

And we begin to wonder if we’re actually ready to commit to something more serious.

What is the fear of commitment?

The fear of commitment has always been a guy thing, but in no way is it an exclusive guy thing.

Women are just as prone to being afraid to commit as men.

But coming to think of it, why are most of us so afraid to get involved in a serious relationship or take the next step towards marriage?

To define it, the fear of commitment is the fear of entering into a long term relationship or the fear of getting married.

But more often than not, most people aren’t really afraid of long term relationships. It’s marriage that petrifies them!

There’s something about holy matrimony and “till death do us part” that shoves cold feet under our torso, and makes us question the longevity of the relationship.

The survival of your relationship and your commitment

If you’re in a long term relationship that’s lasted at least a few years, it’s obvious that the idea of the next stage of marriage will eventually enter your head.

But how do you feel about that? Does it excite you? Or does it scare or annoy you?

If you feel any emotion other than some form of happiness when you think of marrying your lover, you’re probably suffering from the fear of commitment. It’s not a totally bad thing, but it’s definitely not good either.

You need to know this, everything in life is about stages and evolution. To survive, you need to evolve. If you stop evolving, you’ll stagnate. And it’s the same thing with relationships too.

And just like that, a relationship too has to evolve into marriage or some kind of commitment. If it starts to stagnate, it’s definitely a red alert for your love life.

Why are you afraid of commitment?

The reason behind your fear of commitment can be summed in one sentence. You don’t want change!

You may be afraid of change, you may be unsure of what could happen in the future, or it could be just about any other reason associated with change. But it all comes down to this. You don’t want a new unpredictable change in your life because you’re afraid you may not like the change.

But instead of confronting the real fear *change*, you look for a million reasons to justify why you should stay away from commitment. And without realizing it, you’d start picking flaws and faults in your partner just to stay away from commitment. But once you start picking flaws, you can never truly respect your partner or love them the way you once did. And that, my friend, is the beginning of the end of your relationship.

Admit it, for whatever reason it may be, you’re afraid of commitment because you’re uncertain about what may happen in future. And that thought scares you!

If you need to overcome your fear of commitment, you need to learn to confront your fear. Why are you really afraid of commitment?

10 signs you’re afraid of commitment and are looking for excuses

Here are 10 common signs that you’re afraid of commitment, and are looking for excuses or reasons to chicken out of marriage or a long term relationship. Do you find yourself using any of these 10 reasons *excuses*?

#1 One life. Just one person. Does the thought of being with just one person for the rest of your whole life scare you? But you’re not cheating on your lover with someone else right now, are you? If you’re happy in the arms of your lover today, why does the idea of living with them for a lifetime scare you?

#2 The fear of the end of the relationship. No one can promise you that you will surely have a happy ending. Nothing in life is ever guaranteed. But here’s something you need to keep in mind, your happiness and passionate happy endings are almost always in your own hands.

#3 The lack of s*xual variety. The first time you have s*x, it’s awesome! But as the years pass by, the s*x can start to get pretty monotonous and predictable. But that would happen only if you allow your s*x life to stagnate. Get naughty and wild, and your s*x life will always stay on a high.

#4 There’s so much you want to achieve. You may think commitment or marriage would hold you back from achieving your goals or your dreams. But is there a real reason behind your paranoia? Commitment may affect your goals at times, but more often than not, it’s just your excuse. If you ever walk into a crossroad, you have to make a choice and stick to it.


#5 You’re perfect just the way you are. This is a great excuse. You’re in a happy relationship and everything’s just dandy. So why would you want to get married just to conform to the rules of society? You definitely have a good point.

But instead of looking at marriage as unnecessary rules set by the society, try to see it as a moral commitment you’re making to your lover. Nothing really changes with a verbal commitment, but yet, your sign of commitment shows your lover that you truly love and respect them.

#6 You have a plan. Do you have a five year plan or a ten year plan? Sometimes, all of us have long term plans to achieve our goals in life. But a commitment can’t kill you, can it? If you really need to devote all your time and attention to something else, or if you need to travel because that’s part of your big plan, learn to communicate.

Talk to your lover and explain your plans to them so you can douse their insecurities about the relationship. If you don’t do that, you may just end up losing your lover someday real soon!

#7 Ultimatums. Have you been given an ultimatum by your lover to make a commitment? At times, giving an ultimatum is the worst thing to do in a relationship, because ego and anger always creeps into the scenario. But if you’ve been given a deadline to make a commitment, don’t get angered by the ultimatum.

Ask yourself what you really want, swallow your ego and your pride, and take a decision. After all, most ultimatums are given out of desperation and pain, rather than with the intention of pissing you off.

#8 Bad memories. A bad case of cheating exes and heartbreaks can leave you paranoid about long term relationships and promises of commitment. The past can hurt you and haunt you, but that’s no excuse to stagnate in your new relationship or feel insecure about it.

Take baby steps, one step at a time, until you feel confident and secure about your new lover. You may think you have every reason to stall commitment, but you have to remember that you’re hurting your lover and leaving them confused with your actions.

#9 The lack of space. Space is the silent killer of passion. At first, lovers cling to each other and want to be with each other every second of every day. But as time goes by, both lovers start to drift just a little bit. But yet, no lover ever talks about it because they don’t want to hurt their partner’s feelings!

#10 Is she/he the one? Are you still uncertain about whether this person is the one for you? This is the worst place to be, and your fear of commitment is completely justified. But you’re also being a selfish person.

Moving in together – The coward’s alternative to a commitment?

These days, lovers move in together all the time. But statistically speaking, couples that move in together before getting married end up separating very soon. Does that mean living together before marriage is bad news for love? Definitely not!

The biggest reasons why live-in relationships fail is because couples don’t really take the relationship seriously. They make no commitments and just move in together because it seems like an easier alternative.

Life isn’t all good and all bad

You’re afraid of commitment, and that’s alright. Perhaps, you’ve had your share of broken relationships or cheating lovers. But that doesn’t mean a new relationship can’t have a happy ending.

Life isn’t all black and white. There’s always the grey area where anything goes, and what works for one will never work for another. Take a leap of faith and take a chance. It’s true that our mind always remembers the bad experiences and puts a stronger emphasis on it all the time.

Communicate. Overcome your fear.

If you truly care about your lover, don’t be selfish. If you truly are afraid of commitment, speak out and let your partner know what’s on your mind. If something scares you about making a long term commitment, talk to your partner about it.

Remember, you can’t pause life. You can evolve or you can perish. If you believe there’s a happy relationship stage in between dating and commitment that can last forever, well, you’re wrong. And you’d end up losing the one you love too.


20 Glaring Signs You Have a Control Freak in You


There’s just one perfect line that completely defines a control freak.

“If you want to do it right, do it yourself!”

Do you live by that line?

Are you convinced that the only way to achieve happiness or do a good job is by doing it yourself?

This could say two things about you.

One, you’re surrounded by incompetent idiots.

Or two, you’re a control freak.

Now the control freak exists within us all, and shows up now and then. But that doesn’t mean being called a control freak is something to feel flattered about!

The controlling side in you could affect all aspects of your life, be it your love life, your workspace, friends and just about every other relationship.

And almost always, it’ll hurt you more than any good it does to you.

Who is a control freak?

A control freak is a person who wants to be in a position of control all the time. They want to be aware of everything that’s going on around them, and they want to have control over it in some way or the other.

The control freak isn’t easy to recognize yourself, because it’s very well camouflaged by another personality trait, perfectionism.

The stressed side of a control freak

The control freak in us can take over our lives for different reasons. At times, a bad childhood where you felt helpless all the time could force you to become a control freak to control your surroundings, and at other times, your overconfidence and know-it-all attitude too could lead to the same consequences.

The worst part about being a control freak is the annoying tendency to overlook that behavior within us. Control freaks never know they’re control freaks. Instead, they assume they’re generously helpful and concerned about others, and constantly try to help others achieve their full potential by correcting them and keeping an eye on them all the time.

The craving to have things your way

The inner control mechanism is our mind’s way of keeping us safe. If you are completely aware of everything around you, then nothing can surprise you, scare you or screw you.

A control freak is always bothered by how others do something, especially if others aren’t doing it the same way the control freak does. And they constantly try to change others around them so other people can follow their methods and ways of life.

Being a control freak is an easy way to stop yourself from evolving or changing, and trying to change the whole world around you just because it’s easy to manipulate others or make them change to match your wants and expectations.


20 signs you have a control freak in you!

It sucks to be a control freak, because it always leaves you frustrated and annoyed, and it annoys and stifles everyone around you too. But it’s easy to change once you see the signs and correct yourself.

Here are 20 glaring signs of a control freak that could help you recognize the control freak in you. Being a control freak isn’t all bad, but when it affects your life and the people you love, you know you’ve crossed the line into the dark side, don’t you? Use these 20 signs to find out if you’ve crossed over already.

#1 You sincerely believe that others around you are incapable of doing something on their own, and need your constant intervention and guidance just to do something right.

#2 You believe you know what’s best for your lover, your family or even your workplace.

#3 You’re convinced that everything can be completed to perfection only with your involvement.

#4 You have to see it to believe it. You don’t trust the judgment of others, even if it’s someone you trust.

#5 You’re a bad listener who doesn’t like hearing the other side of the story, and you never try to understand another person’s point of view because you think you’re right anyway.

#6 You always assume a task or a chore will lead to failure without your involvement or advice.

#7 You’re a workaholic, and love it. It helps you realize just how dependable you are, and just how much others need you.

#8 You get frustrated when someone doesn’t get you, or doesn’t understand that you’re only trying to help them *even if they aren’t asking for your help*.

#9 You can’t take criticism, and you only pretend like you can.

#10 You want to be a perfectionist in everything you do, and secretly feel threatened by anyone who may be better than you in your expertise.

#11 There’s no pleasing you, and you always find a reason to complain. If the work is done by someone else, you think it’s shoddy. If it isn’t completed yet, you get angry because it hasn’t been done.

#12 You set unreasonably high standards for yourself, which can leave you disappointed and frustrated.

#13 You expect high standards from everyone around you, even if they’re not capable of achieving the high standards you set.

#14 You don’t like it when someone keeps secrets, especially your loved ones. You go out of your way to hear the truth, even if it means doing something unethical and wrong.

#15 You like making decisions for others, because you believe they can’t make the right decision without your help.

#16 You feel hurt and angry if someone declines to accept your help.

#17 You can’t wait to pick flaws if someone doesn’t involve you with the decision making. It helps you realize your own worth, and makes others realize how important you really are in their lives or plans.

#18 Control freaks hate delegating, and would rather stay up all night working instead of sharing the burden with someone.

#19 You’re easily angered if your partner or a close friend takes a decision without hearing your suggestion first.

#20 You don’t trust people and you always doubt their capability and sincerity.

Get rid of the control freak in you

Now that you see the real signs of a control freak, do you have it in you? All of us like being in control of our lives, and that’s acceptable. But if you ever find yourself trying to control your environment or another person’s life just to feel better about your own life, well, that’s just wrong.

Remember, no one, not your lover, your friends or your colleagues, can ever rise to the occasion if you don’t want to give them a chance *or if you secretly hope they’ll fail!*


12 Bad Girl Traits Every Guy Wants In His Girl!


There are good girls that guys want to introduce to their mother.

And then there are bad girls that every guy secretly desires and fantasizes about.

Now every guy knows bad girls are bad news.

After all, bad girls are unpredictable, frustrating and fickle.

And they’re not the best of partners for a long term relationship either.

But yet, there’s something about the allure of a bad girl that makes every guy secretly admire her and want her.

As a girl, have you ever felt insecure when a bad girl takes a fancy to your boyfriend?

Your man may be all yours, but when a bad girls talks to him or flirts with him, he can’t help but melt or get nervous around her. It’s almost involuntary!

Bad girls vs. good girls

Good girls are the best. As a guy, I can tell you that life with them is like a soft pillow. It’s full of love, comfort, emotional security, happiness and bliss.

A bad girl is every man’s fantasy and his nightmare too. A guy wouldn’t want a bad girl, but yet, he can’t stop wishing he could have her. So who wins in the eternal war between the good girl and the bad girl? Well, no one can tell for sure. But here’s something about the regular human mind. As humans, we always prefer stability and simplicity over near death experiences *even though the adrenalin junkie in us wants a near death experience now and then!*

The good girl and bad girl in you

Contrary to the sitcom portrayal of bad girls as slutty leather wearing bitchy women, and nice girls as mauve sweater wearing cute girls, real life isn’t that easy to read. Every girl has a bit of both in her, the good girl and the bad girl. But what stands out more brands the girl as goody-two-shoes or bitch-in-heels.

Sometimes, it’s never bad to be a bad girl, especially if you know what works for you. You may be a good girl who’s dating a great guy, but wouldn’t it be great if you can hone the desirable traits of the bad girl that make her so awesome?

Think about it, good girls win a parent’s heart, but a bad girl wins a man’s heart. If you could be both, you’d definitely be the girl of every guy’s dreams.

12 traits of a bad girl that make her so awesome!

Bad girls aren’t dimwitted or the kind of girl who goes with the flow. She knows what she wants and knows how to get it. So if you’re a good girl who wants to have a bad streak in her, use these 12 bad girl traits to awe a guy and drive him crazy!

#1 The naughty bad girl. Bad girls aren’t prudish. They don’t pretend to hate porn, or shy away from a new s*xual adventure. A guy’s s*x life with a bad girl is never boring so learn to experiment in bed and try something new all the time.

#2 She’s s*xy. Appearances do matter, even if you’ve been in love for ages. Dress up and look good, whether you’re at home or out on a date. Thick sweaters and faded pants are comfortable, but there are s*xier looking outfits that feel comfortable too, don’t you think?

#3 She’s adventurous. A bad girl doesn’t hold back and borders on reckless now and then. A bad girl would be willing to try anything at least once. Go out there and experience new things, see what life has to offer and let your man know that you love a good adventure every now and then.

#4 She’s so flirty! Bad girls are little devils who know how to flirt and seduce any guy without making their intentions obvious. They’re fun, alluring and s*xy talkers who can give a guy a hard on without even touching him!

#5 She stands up for herself. A bad girl has the confidence to stand up for what she believes in. She’s determined and motivated, and doesn’t let anything get in the way of achieving her goal or dream. And she can do this without the help of any man in her life!

#6 She is who she is. A bad girl doesn’t feel the need to conform to the rules of society. She’s a misfit of the good kind. Her friends may pretend like they don’t appreciate her life choices, but somewhere deep within, everyone secretly wants to be her or wants to be with a girl like her.

#7 She doesn’t sugarcoat it. A good girl will hold a guy’s hand and tell them that everything is going to be alright even if it was him that screwed up in the first place. But a bad girl will show her man the facts as it is, and help him understand his own mistakes.


It’s true, sugarcoating a problem helps ease the pain now and then, but almost every time, a guy would prefer a bullet in the head instead of five in the chest. A bad girl says what’s on her mind, and unless he’s feeling guilty and miserable  already or if it’s a sensitive issue, a guy would appreciate that trait in his girlfriend.

#8 She’s high maintenance. Guys want a low maintenance girl around the house. But they always want a high maintenance girl when they’re walking down a street! High maintenance girls are always awed and admired by guys, even if they can’t be afforded.

#9 Bad girls don’t let themselves go. Most nice women just let themselves go once they get into a stable relationship or a marriage. They don’t dress up, don’t shave where it matters, and they start to overlook the Michelin Man curves that start to grow on their body *because they have better things to do*. But a bad girl knows the secret behind attraction and seduction, looks matter just as much as personality.

#10 They say NO. A guy could be infuriated by this bad girl behavior when she puts her foot down and take a stand when she doesn’t want to do something, but this trait will also make her be taken more seriously. On the other hand, a warm and nice girl who compromises all the time and puts up with a guy for everything will only be taken for granted or walked all over.

#11 She doesn’t wait for magic. She creates it. A bad girl doesn’t wait for a prince charming to walk into her life and fix her problems for her. She steps into the middle of the real world and fixes what she wants, with the assistance of drooling men or by herself.

#12 She’s extremely confident. She’s not cocky, but she’s not the insecure one either. In fact, she’s the kind of girl who’ll scare a guy and make him try harder to impress her all the time. Whatever she does, she’s confident of her skills, and everyone respects her for that.

5 bad girl traits guys don’t want in their girl

Bad girls are great, but they aren’t all nice and s*xy. Here are five signs that spell nothing but doom for a guy. So if you want to be a good bad girl, avoid these traits.

#1 Selfishness. Bad girls are usually extremely selfish and don’t care for anyone but themselves. Don’t be that girl.

#2 Using s*x as a weapon. You’re s*xy and you know it, but that shouldn’t give you any right to use s*x as a weapon by withholding it just to prove a point or get your man to bend over backwards for you.

#3 Moody and fragile. As confident as bad girls portray themselves to be, some of them also have a very fragile soft center that could be a sign of bottled emotions and confusions. Speak out and communicate your feelings. You don’t need to be the strong girl all the time.

#4 Narcissist. A bad girl thinks she’s the best thing to happen to planet earth, and that she’s better than everyone else. Of course, she’s entitled to her opinion if she has something worthy to prove herself. But try to keep your ego in check, will you?

#5 Fickle. The typical bad girl gets excited for everything quickly and loses her interest in other things just as quickly.

As with every kind of girl, a bad girl too has her own good and bad sides to her. As long as you remember to use the good traits and avoid the bad traits, you’d definitely be able to awe and impress the man in your life, for a long time to come.


7 Tips to Plan the Perfect Valentine’s Day Surprise


Want to gift your girlfriend a perfect date this Valentine’s Day?

Well, here’s your guide to making a special day feel a lot more special.

When it comes to impressing a girl on a date, it isn’t just about where you take her or what you buy for her.

Women love feeling appreciated.

They want to feel special and loved.

Make your girl feel cared for on this Valentine’s Day and she’ll love you for it.

How to plan a perfect Valentine’s Day for your girl

Take the day off this Valentine’s Day, or if you can’t do that, try to get off work as soon as you possibly can and make up for the lost time by using these tips.

Focus on creating special moments all through the day, and she’ll feel pampered and loved.

Create a checklist of things you need like roses, gifts and table reservations and make sure you’ve completed them all down to the tee beforehand.

#1 Breakfast in bed. Breakfast in bed is a luxury that most of us hardly ever experience. Start your day by sneaking out of bed before your wife wakes up and cook up something simple, and yet perfect for a happy start. Don’t forget to clean the kitchen back up after you’re done cooking so you don’t ruin her day with a messy house.

#2 Have a shower together. Once you’re done with breakfast, it’s time to head into the shower. You can opt for the bathtub too, but since it’s too early in the day to laze or relax, a good hot shower might just be the perfect way to get fresh and feel sensual all at once.

Having a shower together can be a very sensual experience even if you aren’t having s*x. Give your woman a bath and take time moving your hands over her. It’s a perfect way to connect with each other and feel more loved this Valentine’s Day.

#3 Watch a movie. When both of you are all dressed up, cuddle up on the couch and watch a passionate movie together. If you’d like, both of you could head to a theater and catch a mushy movie or a passionate comedy that she’d like. Just remember to focus on your girl’s interests and not on yours. By being selfless and focusing on her likes, you’re letting her know how much she means to you.

#4 Have lunch alfresco. There’s something very beautiful about dining out in the open with a view that overlooks something beautiful. Take your girlfriend out to lunch in an open air restaurant with a view after the movie or arrange a table in your place that’ll give you the same experience. Or if you want to go one passionate step further, fix a picnic basket with wine, cheese and fine food and head out to a nearby park or the countryside.

#5 Record a home video. Get back to your place after lunch and laze a while with each other. Don’t try to cram up too much into one day. Instead, pace the day so it’s easy and relaxed. And while both of you are lazing in each other’s arms, bring out your cell phone or camera and make a home video talking about the things both of you did this Valentine’s Day, the experiences both of you have shared and any other personal messages to remember as the years roll by.

Always create a memory of the good times. It’s one of those little things that can bring a smile on both your lips even after several years have gone by.

#6 Have a candlelight dinner. Order food home and arrange a lot of white candles around your table. Or take your girlfriend out to a passionate restaurant for a perfect candlelight dinner with all the works. Don’t skip this passionate dinner and candles even if both of you are exhausted after a whole day of activities. It can be the perfect ending to a memorable Valentine’s Day.

#7 The happy ending. After dinner, drive back to your place and prepare yourself for a good time of relaxed cuddling in between the sheets. Freshen up, have a few glasses of wine and turn the lights off in the bedroom. Light a few candles around the room and indulge in a whole night of pleasurable tantric s*x. Make sure you go down on her and spend a while down there. If you want to plan a perfect date for your girl, you need to remember to focus on her pleasure and not yours.



Am I in Love? – 21 Signs to Decode That Fuzzy Feeling


Love is a wonderful feeling to experience.

And anyone who’s ever fallen in any kind of love can tell you just how light and wonderful falling in love can make you feel.

But if you’ve just started to feel the twinge of the painful pleasure love causes, it’s not easy to decode it even if you’ve been in love before.

Sometimes, an outsider’s perspective of things can clear the air and help you truly understand what you’re feeling inside.

So are you truly in love?

Love isn’t easy to explain because it comes in so many forms and stages.

Contrary to popular belief, love doesn’t happen in just one stage. But it always starts the same way.

It starts with that wonderful fuzzy feeling that leaves you feeling giddily happy, and with time, turns into something that’s more matured, long lasting and true.

But that’s just not true. If you do experience any of these signs mentioned here, you’re definitely falling in love with this special someone.

Am I in love? – The 21 love signs to decode that fuzzy feeling!

Love can be confusing, especially if you’re experiencing that feeling for the first time with someone new. It leaves you feeling scared and yet overwhelmingly excited.

#1 Awesome and oh-so-perfect. When you start to fall in love with someone, everything about them would seem so perfect. And every second longer that you stare, they just seem to get better and better. And you can’t imagine anyone in the world who’s more perfect, and more importantly, perfect for you!

#2 You can’t focus. You’re constantly distracted and have a hard time focusing on anything other than this new person in your life. Everything other than your new lover including your work, your friends and your commitments start to take a backseat.

#3 You feel selfless. You can’t help but put this person’s needs before yours all the time. You’re eager to sacrifice your wants just to see your new lover happy because watching them happy makes you happy.

#4 Mood swings and excitement. You’d feel excited all the time when you start falling in love with someone. But with that high of excitement also come the terribly painful lows of disappointment. You get excited easily when your sweetheart does something nice for you. But at the same time, you get disappointed very easily too, especially when your sweetie doesn’t call you on time or forgets to text you goodnight!

#5 Daydreaming and fantasies. Your mind drifts away into fantasyland almost all day. You may be in the middle of an important meeting or having a conversation with friends, but your mind may involuntarily drift into a daydream about the last time you and your new lover did something together.

#6 There’s not enough time. When you’re falling in love with someone, time may stand still when both of you are together. But yet, there’s just not enough time to be with each other! You could spend all day in each other’s arms, but when it comes to saying goodbye, it’s still the hardest thing to say to each other.

#7 They’re so cute. Everything about this person you love would start to seem charming or cute. It could be something as trivial as the way they run their hands through their hair or the way they smile when you compliment them. But to you, that gesture of theirs would make your heart melt in a flash!

#8 Jealousy and possessiveness. You’d feel very possessive of your lover. You may not always display your jealousy or your possessiveness to them, but you’d feel a twang of jealousy welling within you if you see your new lover having a flirty conversation with an attractive someone.

#9 Happy events. You create memories or try to compare anything both of you do together to something more beautiful, meaningful and dramatic. Something as trivial as having coffee together one evening could convince you that it one of the happiest evenings of your life.

#10 Our place. If you’re falling in love with this person, you’d start naming places as “our place”, or “the place we laughed so much” or “the place which sells the cupcakes both of us love”. Doing that makes both of you feel closer, creates more together-memories faster and makes your relationship seem more meaningful and important.

#11 Mesmerized. You’re mesmerized when you listen to them talk about something. You don’t want them to stop talking, and you could spend all day watching those lips move so beautifully while saying anything at all. In fact, at times, you may be so mesmerized by them that you may not even realize what they’re talking about.

#12 Spread the word. When you love someone, you can’t stop talking about them. You’d talk about how amazing they are, how wonderful you feel and how passionate the world feels all of a sudden, with everyone who’s willing to listen to you.

#13 Rolling in bed. Rolling around in bed is a definite sign of falling in love. When you start to fall for someone, the comfort of a soft, cozy bed would remind you of your new lover’s touch. And every morning, you’d spend a few more minutes running your hands around your bed and fantasizing about how perfect it would be if your lover was in bed with you.

#14 Your jaws hurt. No matter how hard you try, you can’t clamp that smile shut even if your jaws hurt. The world looks so beautiful, and everything in it just makes you smile and jump.

#15 Special times. You constantly think of ways to do something special for them. When you’re shopping, you feel like picking something up for them. When you’re having lunch with friends at a really nice place, you wonder how it would be to come to this place with your new boyfriend or girlfriend.

#16 Your ex vanishes. You may have been haunted by the memories of your ex for several months, but all of a sudden your ex doesn’t hurt you anymore. In fact, they don’t even exist anymore!

#17 You’ve found the one. No one else seems as attractive and perfect as your new partner anymore. You could walk into a club and see the most gorgeous people on earth, but somehow, none of them seem as exciting as the one you’re falling in love with.

#18 Entangled hands. You just can’t keep your hands off this person when you’re with them. You hold hands while walking, while talking and even while sitting at a restaurant *even if that means you have to use only one hand to cut your steak!*

#19 The big future. You make plans for the future, even if it’s only in your head. You imagine how wonderful the years ahead would be with this person in your life.

#20 You melt just a little bit. You can’t stop grinning or blushing while talking to this person you love. Their compliments make you blush. Their longing stares make you melt like butter. And their warm hugs just make you want to sink into them completely.

#21 Those love songs. You may hate love songs to begin with, but when you fall in love, you can’t help but listen to mushy love songs and visualize your own fairytale passion in it. Somehow, love songs always make you feel more in love, especially if the lyrics seem to coincide with your own love story.


Does Absence Make the Heart Grow Fonder or Wander?


Have you ever wondered how absence affects a relationship?

It’s believed that absence makes the heart grow fonder.

But how true is that really?

To a large extent, it’s true that absence makes the heart grow fonder, but there’s a thin line beyond which absence and distance can be disastrous for a relationship.

Why is absence good in love?

At the beginning of a new relationship, all both of you want to do is spend every waking minute with each other.

Both of you would want to know everything about each other and end up spending all the time texting or calling each other up even when both of you are away for a few hours.

But as the relationship starts to move away from the infatuation stage and into the deeper stage of love, you’d start to realize just how much of your own life as an individual you’ve missed out on.

When you start to feel this instinctively, you end up withdrawing from the relationship to spend a bit of me-time.

And once you replenish your alone time, you’d feel like spending more time with your lover because you’d start to miss them already.

How giving space creates a better relationship

You may want to spend a lot of time together with your lover, and there’s nothing bad in that. But as soon as your lover feels claustrophobic in love, which will eventually happen at some point of time, they may end up pushing you away for a while.

This could lead to emotional confusions, which can make one partner more clingy and needy while the other partner starts to get distant. And the more each partner tries to get what they want, space or intimacy, the more it frustrates the other partner.

By giving space to each other to pursue individual interests, neither of you would feel stagnated because of the relationship. In fact, giving space and creating the absence can actually make your partner miss you more which will keep the love alive for longer.

The problems of too much absence

Is too much space in a relationship a bad thing? It most definitely is. A little absence makes the heart grow fonder. But too much absence though gives too much room to wander.

Think of it this way. If a new movie that you’ve always wanted to watch released today, wouldn’t you be excited to watch it? Let’s assume you couldn’t make it today because you didn’t get the tickets. The same thing happens tomorrow and the next, and the whole of next week.

As excited as you maybe, if you’re unable to get the tickets every single day for a week, don’t you think you’d eventually get frustrated and give up on ever watching the movie because it’s just not worth the effort?

At times, you may even start to dislike the movie before you even watch it, or wonder why you give it so much attention. What happens in love and absence works along the same lines. It’s just a lot more serious and life altering though.

What keeps two lovers together in a relationship?

There are two primary needs in a relationship, emotional intimacy and s*xual intimacy. If there’s an imbalance in these needs or even if one of these needs aren’t met, a relationship will start to fail on a fragile scale. All it needs is a little distraction to topple over.

#1 Emotional intimacy. Emotional intimacy in a relationship is the kind of bond that two lovers share, emotionally. Do you communicate with your partner and talk about your feelings, dreams and aspirations regularly?

#2 S*xual intimacy. Even if both of you are away from each other most of the time, try to meet each other as often as possible. Even spending one good day with each other in a week can keep the passion alive until the next week.

Too much absence and how cheating enters the picture

Even the best of lovers are susceptible to cheating if they’re away from each other for too long. If you want to better the relationship, spend a few hours away from each other now and then. But don’t ignore each other so much that both of you feel like two strangers living under one roof.

If both of you are separated by distance because of work commitments, spend more time communicating with each other. At times, even a strong emotional connection can hold the relationship together and keep it strong.

Your partner may date another person in your absence

Love happens spontaneously. You experienced it with someone, and in all probability, you may experience it again if you’re not emotionally connected to your lover.

And just like you, your partner too may get attracted to someone else. This is one of the big insecurities you need to deal with when you’re away from your lover for long periods of time. Your partner may meet someone interesting at work, and one coffee may lead to conversations over the phone, and then some more.

Why does absence make us wander?

Love is all about evolution. As much as humans say they believe in monogamy forever, it’s not always true. Yes, you can stop yourself from cheating, but can you stop the thought? If you can think it, it’s still cheating, isn’t it? Your mind wants to do it, but society around you tells you that you shouldn’t do it. And that’s why you aren’t doing it.

Space is good. Long absences are terrible.

So does absence make the heart grow fonder? It sure does. But if the emotional and s*xual needs aren’t satiated, the fondness may soon turn to loneliness, which may lead to affairs or failed relationships.

To have a successful relationship, you must learn to give space and help each other grow as individuals. But at the same time, always remember to keep the emotional and s*xual intimacy alive, and avoid long absences that could end a perfect relationship from the inside.


How to Get Over a Girl Who Doesn’t Like You Back


They say that love is beautiful and perfect.

But when you’re in love with a girl who just doesn’t seem to be interested in you, love can feel like the worst experience ever.

It’s so frustrating, isn’t it?

I mean, you’re such a great guy and yet she’s interested in other guys who don’t seem even half as good as you!

Ever been there?

Well, I have.

I’ve been there plenty of times and I’ve learnt a few important lessons on that path too.

How to get over a girl who doesn’t like you

During my college years, I’ve been in love with quite a few girls.

And every now and then, a girl that I liked would speak nicely to me, get friendly with me and then crush my heart when I ask her to go out with me.

I mean, these girls did say I was a nice guy.

But almost always, when I did work up the courage to ask a girl out on a date, they would appear shocked or embarrassed and tell me that they never looked at me *that way*. Gosh, I hated that feeling.

And once the proposal ends, the awkwardness begins. Things were never the same again with the girls I asked out. A few girls I liked stayed as distant friends, while other girls started avoiding me.

The girls I liked moved on, and I was the one stuck with a heartbreak that I had to deal with. It was so traumatic at times, because I never really got to know what was wrong with me or what was better with the other guys.

Where I went wrong in my pursuit of a girlfriend

As guys, all of us have epic egos. We think we’re all perfect definitions of the male species. But more often than not, many of us are flawed. So you think you’re a great guy. But does the world feel the same about you?

Would you consider yourself as one of the *coolest guys on the block*, be it in college or in office? Does everyone else look up at you and your friends as the most popular guys around? When I was in college, I always thought my friends and I were all that, but now when I look back at my college photos, I can see that I was a nice guy, but I was not as popular or good looking as I assumed I was.

Sometimes we just have no choice

In a completely different scenario, sometimes you just have no say if a girl doesn’t like you. There was this girl I liked a lot and she liked me too. We were friends, and borderline s*x buddies. We used to have phone s*x now and then, and even make out after a movie or a friendly date, but we weren’t having s*x yet.

She would talk to him all the time and even make out with him. She’s single and she had every right to do whatever she pleased. But that made me jealous, and I wanted her to be all mine. I started telling her that I loved her and wanted to be with her in a more-than-just-friends way. But the more I started pursuing her, the further away she drifted from me. And one fine day, she told me that she wanted to end our relationship because she had started dating this other guy.

6 lessons to remember in getting over a girl

In my failed passion and experiences with getting dumped by girls I hadn’t even dated, here are a few things I’ve learnt.

#1 A nice guy isn’t always a desirable guy. If she tells you you’re a nice guy, or that she loves spending time with you, it still doesn’t mean she wants to date you or sleep with you.

#2 If a girl flirts with you, it definitely doesn’t mean she loves you. She may be attracted to you, but perhaps she has other reasons to avoid dating you.

#3 We can all change our minds. One of the girls I liked was a good friend of mine. She would even say that she loved me. I was intensely attracted to her, but we weren’t dating yet. To the rest of the world, we were friends. But during our conversations late into the light, we spoke like lovers.

And just like that, one fine day, she just started avoiding me. And I had no idea why. She wouldn’t reason it out with me though. She just told me that our relationship was all wrong. We’re not friends anymore but I was so madly in love with her. And to this day, I have no idea why she started ignoring me.

#4 Life can be unpredictable and unfair. Deal with it. Sometimes, circumstances are beyond your control. The girl you like may be madly in love with another guy, or she may already be dating someone else seriously, or there may be some other reason. What matters here is that life is unpredictable and sometimes, you just need to accept it.

#5 Preferences and choices. We all have our own choices in the kind of partner we like. The girl you like has a choice to turn you down. If a girl you find unattractive asks you out, you may be flattered, but you’d still turn her down, wouldn’t you? Why is it wrong if the girl you like does the same to you?

#6 Learn to let go of your anger. You’re upset and angry. But that just won’t help you. Let go of the rage and move on. You win some and you lose some. Enjoy the game of life with no regrets or frustrations.

6 things to learn from a bad proposal

If you’ve asked a girl out and she turned you down, learn from the experience and see if there are any flaws about yourself that you can pick from it. Perhaps, you were being hasty or pushy, or you still have a few personality flaws that need to be fixed. Here are 6 things you need to learn before trying to get over her.

#1 Don’t be hasty. Don’t rush in too fast in the heat of the moment. If you’re too easy to get or reveal just how much you love a girl too soon, she may take you lightly and walk all over you.

#2 What are your flaws? Every single guy in the world, even the biggest of flirters and smooth talkers, has a few flaws. When you look back at how you asked a girl out, remember the way she behaved initially and how she changed when you asked her out. Could you have changed something about the way you went about the dating game?

#3 Build the tension. Never pop the question out of the blue. You like her, and she seems interested in you. Instead of looking for ways to let her know about the love you have for her, look for ways to make the conversations and the relationship more exciting. Make her go weak in her knees without letting her know how crazy you are about her.

#4 Always know the answer before you ask the question. This is very important. Don’t tell a girl that you like her before you know her intentions about you. If you’ve already been on a few dates with her, there’s a good chance she likes you. But wait until you’re certain about her feelings before you reveal yours.

#5 Understand what turns her off. There are many things that turn a girl off. And many guys don’t know the things that matter to a girl. Find out the things that turn her off and avoid them. You need to be a great guy to get a great girl to fall for you.

#6 Become the guy all girls desire. There are a few traits about guys that all girls find irresistible. Become that perfect guy and all girls will like you as a friend and desire you as a lover. Be that guy and you’ll see how easy it is to get any girl you like.

How to get over a girl and move on

Now that you’ve learnt from your past errors, here are 8 steps you need to take to become a better guy and get over the girl you like at the same time.

#1 It takes time. You have to deal with it. There’s no easy way to get over a girl you like. All you can do is keep yourself distracted until the wound heals.

#2 Shut her from your mind. Don’t think of her. If her thoughts come to your mind, think of something else. It feels good to remember her face or look at her new facebook photos and updates, but you’re only making the whole experience hurt more. You’ve lost her and she’s not coming back. So why are you hurting yourself for no reason?

#3 Don’t become a new guy. Don’t change your personality around her after she tells you that she doesn’t like you. Don’t behave stiffly or act moody when she’s around. Your plea for attention will fall on deaf ears and she may even avoid you further because you’re acting weird. And you’ll be the only one that’s hurting even more. She doesn’t like you, so even if you try to get her attention by avoiding her, she wouldn’t care!

#4 Don’t behave like a hopeless passionate . If you try to get drunk or talk endlessly about her, you’re not doing yourself a favor. Learn from the experience and try to avoid the same errors the next time you like a girl.

#5 Give up. Share your feelings with her just one more time if you really want to, but in a casual manner. If that doesn’t work, give up and never hope for her to say yes again. Keeping your hopes alive will stunt you from becoming a better guy or liking another girl.

#6 Don’t look at her as a prize. “If I get richer, she’ll date me,” “If I start behaving better, she’ll date me.” These lines will only make you more miserable. You’re only making yourself more vulnerable to heartbreak because quite frankly, she doesn’t care about you or who you are anymore.

#7 Don’t plot revenge. She has a right to say no to you, just like you have the right to say no to a girl you find unattractive. Accept her choice and move on. Plotting revenge will stagnate your life and leave you obsessing about her even more.

#8 Find other girls to pursue. This is the best way to get over a girl you like. You’ve had your chance and you blew it. So screw it and move on. Learn from your errors and find someone else to get attracted to. If you make the right moves this time around, you’ll definitely get the girl you like and get over the girl who broke your heart at the same time!


Is He Interested in You for All the Wrong Reasons?


Sometimes, it’s easy to get clouded by your emotions.

You may love your guy like crazy, but he may not share the same feelings.

You may think he truly cares about you.

But he may have his own ulterior motives to date you.

If you’re in a bittersweet relationship where your boyfriend loves you once and pushes you away twice, chances are, he’s either a bad boyfriend who’s not worth your time or a guy who’s using you for his selfish interests.

Is he interested in you for all the wrong reasons?

Ever felt like you’re being used in the relationship?

Sometimes, your instincts are your best judge.

If your boyfriend’s behavior changes every now and then, perhaps it’s not just love holding both of you together.

Be rational, even though you’re totally in love with your guy. And use these signs to find out if you’re actually being used instead of being loved.

7 signs he’s using you and not really in love with you

All of us can be selfish now and then. It’s not like we want to, but when we find someone gullible enough to fall for it, we instinctively use them or take them for granted.

Throughout our lives, we’ve used others or manipulated others to help us, be it our parents or our friends.

There are many ways a guy would try to use you, but here are 7 most common reasons where a guy could pretend like he’s interested in you, when in reality, he doesn’t even care half as much as you do.

#1 You’re his rebound. Are you dating a guy who’s just broken up with his girl? Or does your boyfriend spend a lot of time talking about his ex? If you’re dating a guy who’s still obsessed with his past, there’s a good chance that he’s still not over his ex and is using your intimacy only to stitch his heartbreak up.

#2 He wants you to be his arm candy. Some guys don’t really care who they’re dating as long as his friends think she’s attractive. You could be the dumbest or the snottiest person in the world, but he wouldn’t care as long as you cling on to him when he’s out with his friends.

Stop him when he tries to get physical in front of others, and watch how he reacts. If it annoys him or if he tries to manipulate you into doing something in front of others, he’s definitely using you.

#3 To have s*x with you. Sometimes, a guy may pretend like he’s fallen in love with you only to have s*x with you. And once he gets to do that a few times, he’d start to lose interest in you or may start to take you for granted. Are you in a relationship where your guy’s lost interest in you ever since both of you had s*x?

#4 To get back at his ex. This is more common than you can ever imagine. Many guys date a new girl immediately as soon as they break up only to annoy their ex. How can you tell if he’s using you and not really interested in you? Here are two clues. He would try to take you to places where his ex hangs out almost all the time. Or by some miraculous coincidence, both of you would constantly bump into his ex now and then and he’d be more than happy to bump into her. And at times, he may even hold you closer when his ex is around.

#5 Your connections. Are you a popular girl with a lot of friends? Or are you working somewhere influential and have a lot of powerful friends? You’d definitely be on the date list of many guys who could benefit from the people you know.

#6 Sugar momma. If you’re a girl with a lot of money in the purse, you always need to be cautious about the kind of guys you date. Almost always, more than half the guys you date would be after your money than anything else.

Reading the signs of a guy who’s dating you only because you’re rich is never easy. Many guys pretend to behave chivalrously and never make it seem like they’re after you for the money until they’ve hooked you deep. But if you find that you’re the one who’s doing more of the splurging on dates and gifts, it’s a good sign.

#7 Easy pickings. Were you the one who asked the guy out? This is a common scenario that we see every now and then when a girl asks a guy out. When you ask a guy out or tell him that you like him, he may not really like you but he may accept to date you because he’s got nothing better to do every evening anyways. And by dating you, he gets to make out with you and go out with you all the time even if he doesn’t like you.

Take your time before dating him, and get to know him better through a few casual dates. If he seems unenthusiastic now and then, he’s probably not as interested in you as he says he is, and is just using you to pass the time.

It’s hard to truly find out if a guy’s really interested in you for the right reasons. After all, even the nicest guys may be seen using these signs now and then in their own small ways.


15 Reasons Why Nice Guys Finish Last All the Time


Are you a nice guy?

Do you feel like nice guys always finish last no matter what they do or how hard they try?

Now don’t hate all the girls in the world for it.

Instead, look inward and ask yourself if you’re the kind of nice guy that all girls choose to avoid.

Yes, there are different kinds of nice guys, and almost all of them aren’t really as good as they think they are.

One of the biggest problems with nice guys is how annoyed they are with the world.

Almost all nice guys truly believe the world is unfair and all girls are liars because all girls say they like nice guys but end up walking all over these nice guys all the time.

But is that really the way the game works?

Well, if you think you’re a nice guy who deserves the best girl in the world, here are a few things you need to ask yourself.

Do you have a nice guy in you?

All guys have a nice side to them.

But are you the one stepping aside so a girl can walk past you into the elevator, or are you the nice guy who lies on the ground and lets any girl walk all over you into the elevator because the floor’s dirty? That’s the difference that matters.

What’s makes a nice guy so lame?

Girls absolutely love a guy who’s nice. But they definitely don’t like a guy who goes overboard in trying to please them all the time, especially if they’re not in a relationship already. A regular guy may be nice to a girl, but a nice guy almost always ends up looking desperate and eager to please.

Why are the other guys better than nice guys?

Contrary to a nice guy’s belief, the world isn’t split into just two kinds of men, the nice guys and the bad boys. There are great guys, sweet guys, charming guys, flirty guys, principled guys and hundreds of other kinds of guys who are admired and liked by girls.

So a bad boy is no better than a nice guy. They’re both the two extremes of a spectrum that girls don’t care about. The bad boy makes a girl feel s*xy for a night. And a nice guy gives a girl a chance to have a man Friday to run her errands. Sure, she needs both these guys to have a better life. But will she fall in love with any of them intentionally? No way.

15 reasons why nice guys finish last all the time

Nice guys make great friends, but terrible lovers. Every time a girl meets a nice guy, he usually ends up falling straight into her friend zone. It’s not her fault really, because he behaves like such a good friend that she has no choice but to look at him as a friend.

After all, a guy who likes a girl will try to flirt with her or tease her, not just ask her if it’s okay to carry her grocery bags or wash her car for her.

If you’re a nice guy and are wondering why nice guys finish last, here are 15 reasons to help you understand yourself better.

So are you the kind of nice guy that girls would avoid dating? Find out here.

#1 Self respect. Nice guys don’t respect themselves. They don’t mind making fun of themselves or putting themselves down all the time, and they don’t care about getting pushed around by other guys.

#2 Too agreeable. Nice guys are too sweet to voice their real opinions and end up frustrating themselves. At other times, they may bottle themselves up with implosive anger and suddenly burst out one day out of the blue.

#3 Too needy and insecure. Nice guys start off as sweet and caring, but end up becoming too needy and insecure in a relationship because they’re always threatened by every other guy who talks to their girlfriend.

#4 They’re boring. The nice guys are never very fun because they don’t like crossing the line into the naughty side no matter what. This quality makes them great friends who can provide good and stable advice about life but bad boyfriends who are too predictable and boring.

#5 A nice guy isn’t an alpha male. A great girl always wants to date a guy who can be in control of his life and gain the respect of his friends. If your friends don’t respect you or listen to your opinions, it’s a sure sign that you’re a nice guy who’s walked over often, even by your friends.

#6 Manipulated. Nice guys are easily manipulated because they allow themselves to get manipulated even if they realize that they’re being manipulated. This can frustrate any girl they’re dating because nice guys almost always end up getting the short end of the stick.

#7 Avoid confrontations. Nice guys can’t defend the girl they like and try to resolve any issues by trying to even the situation using polite words. They’re not assertive and never challenge anyone’s views directly. Instead, they try to get their point across through sneaky manipulation which can annoy any girl who hates feeling manipulated.

#8 Nice guys are weak. They plot revenge secretly, but can’t man up and take a stand even if they know they’re right. This makes them appear weak.

#9 They want miracles. Nice guys constantly look to the future for a better life, be it by earning more money or getting a great job, but do nothing to change the present even though they know they need to change their behavior.

#10 Offence. No one takes a nice guy seriously because he never wants to offend anyone. He’s too accommodating and everyone treats him like a pushover.

#11 Nice guys get stressed by difficult situations. A girl would want to date a guy who’s her rock and her strength, not a scared pussy who’ll run at the first sign of danger. Nice guys aren’t protective or aggressive enough.

#12 Nice guys never lead. They always sit in the back seat of life. They may want to lead, but never make the effort or take the initiative directly. And they never really ask a girl out until it’s too late and then whine about how unfair the world is.

#13 Social strength. Nice guys are not socially strong. They’re almost always invisible in a group. No girl notices them until they make a move *as a friend* and then it’s all too late.

#14 Intimidation. Nice guys are always intimidated by strong personalities. If an alpha male likes a nice guy’s girl or tries to flirt with her, the nice guy wouldn’t have the internal strength to stand up against it. Instead, he may whine or sulk about it in the corner of the room.

#15 The dreaded friend zone. Nice guys always end up entering a girl’s friend zone. They’re really nice guys who make great friends and terrible boyfriends.

But girls do want nice guys

As you can see, there are many reasons why nice guys don’t really make the cut when it comes to getting a girl’s fancy. And you have to understand this, girls don’t hate nice guys. They just don’t like the behavior of an excessively nice guy who’s nervous and unconfident.

The confident nice guy always wins in the end

Nice guys are more sensitive and caring. They make great boyfriends and partners for life. But the only issue with nice guys is that they’re not ideal boyfriend materials.

The perfect guy that all girls dream of is a nice guy who has a spine, the guy who’s sweet and gentle, and yet composed and confident. As long as you let a girl see that you’re nice and believe in yourself, you’ll always be chosen over every other guy in the whole world. Just learn to take a stand, and you’ll be every girl’s dream date.


What is Pillow Talk? How to Use It Right and Perfect Your Passion


There are so many things that make a happy relationship what it is.

There are rules and there are ideas.

And there are hard times to learn from and good memories to cherish.

But what about pillow talk?

Do you indulge in that?

Communication is important in a relationship, but finding the right time to communicate can leave both of you feeling drenched in love and bliss.

What is pillow talk really?

Pillow talking is the kind of conversation you have with your lover when you’re lying down in bed with each other.

Have you ever lied down in each other’s arms and spoken about just about anything, be it your lives, problems or even your relationship? It feels good just listening to each other, doesn’t it?

Why do we need pillow talk in a relationship?

One of the most important things pillow talking does is build the connection and love in a relationship. Just listening to your lover’s calm voice in bed can soothe you and help you get rid of all the pressures and defeats of a bad day.

It relaxes both of you and helps you open up to more intimate conversations without worry of arguments or anger. And when communication starts to get frank and open, the feeling of love will definitely grow with each passing night.

Pillow talking is one of those times in the day when both of you get to be with each other, with no distractions. You could spend a whole day with each other and still feel like two companions, but all you need is a few minutes of pillow talking late in the night to feel like true lovers all over again.

There are couples that pillow talk, and there are couples that don’t. But the couple that doesn’t indulge in a bit of sleepy, happy conversations will never be as emotionally connected to each other as the couple that pillow talks.

Things to talk about in bed

Are you and your lover good pillow talkers? As with everything in life, there are good things and bad things to pillow talk too. Some conversations can make you feel on top of the world, while a few other conversations can leave you dejected and drained out of your energy as you turn in for the night.

Before we get to the good conversations in bed, let me give you a few pointers on the bad ones you need to avoid talking about.

Don’t talk about the problems in your life *unless you have a probable solution for it*. Don’t talk about financial troubles, sadness, how unfair the world is, or about your own miseries at work.

Couples do talk about all of this stuff, but that’s definitely not happy pillow talking. Try to look at pillow talking as the bright side of your life. If all you and your lover do before turning in to sleep is whine about how unfair life is, both of you will wake up feeling drained in the morning.

8 happy conversations that make pillow talk better

Wondering what the perfect conversations for pillow talking are? Well, here are 8 happy pillow conversations that will definitely help both of you fall more in love and feel more happy in life.

#1 Comparisons. This may sound rude, but as humans, we love making comparisons all the time just to feel better about ourselves. Compare your own love life with the love lives of your friends or colleagues.

You’ll feel good if you have a better relationship. And if there’s something you admire about another couple, both of you will subconsciously make those changes in your own relationship, which will improve both of you as lovers and create a much better relationship over time.

#2 Dreams about the future. Talk about each of your dreams and visions. Pillow talking about it will help both of you understand each other’s lives and goals better and create wonderful fantasies about the future too. It’ll feel great to imagine the good things that the future has in store for both of you, especially if both of you follow your dreams and motivate each other along the way.

#3 Compliments. Add a bit of passion and flirty talk into your pillow talk now and then. Did you take a second glance at your lover as you waved goodbye earlier in the day because your lover looked so irresistible in their new hairstyle? Or were everyone around staring in awe at your partner at the party because they looked so good?

#4 New things to try next time. Don’t ever look at tough times as hurdles, instead look at them as ways to come up with a better option, be it about work, love or your s*x life. If s*x wasn’t great one night, talk about things you’d like to try the next time. If you just celebrated a birthday, talk about what you plan to do on the next birthday. Talking about ways to improve something in your life always makes for passionate pillow talk.

#5 Vacations and getaways. Nothing beats a good pillow talk than vacations or weekend getaways. If both of you have been working hard, talk about taking a break from work three or four months from now. Discuss about places to go to and things to do, and all the other happy vacation ideas. Both of you will feel good about it, and it’ll motivate you to achieve your goals even faster.

#6 Passionate memories. Talking about passion is a happy time in bed. Ask your partner if they remember the first time you kissed, or the first vacation both of you took together, or any passionate incident that’s left a happy memory. One conversation will lead to another, and before you know it, both of you will feel more lucky in love than ever.

#7 Past struggles. Past struggles are like an inspirational movie, especially if both of you have achieved something worthwhile after the struggle. Did you have a hard time making ends meet? Or did both of you have to make a lot of sacrifices to achieve what you now have? Talking about old struggles and present good times will help both of you realize just how much both of you have achieved over time, be it in love or in life.

#8 About your day. This is the kind of pillow talk that brings both of you closer on a daily basis. Talk about your day, the good and the bad of it, and the little exciting details that made you proud or brought a smile on your face.