You long for a partner at your side, but love just doesn’t work? You meet men regularly and one or the other can imagine a relationship with you. You may be wondering now, Am I incapable of relationship or have I just been out of luck?
Some people are looking for love but do not allow it at the same time. As soon as it gets more serious, they quickly retreat. We tell you what you notice if you incapable of relationships are. In addition, we give you tips on how you can trust love again.
This way you can see whether you are incapable of relationship
You are single, but dream of a wedding and children. There is this great man who keeps asking you about a date. But you are unsure and put him off. It is up to you to find out if your trust in love is insufficient or if you are simply not your type.
We help you and explain the most common attachment anxiety symptoms below :
- As soon as it gets serious, you withdraw: you still enjoy the first meetings. However, the closer the man gets to you, the faster you withdraw. At some point you avoid contact and date other men again. Your inability to bind wins.
- You keep putting the other one off: he wants to invite you to dinner on Friday . But you have n’t replied to his message in three days. Do you write to him then, cancel or put him off for the coming week.
- Your thoughts spin in a circle: Instead of following your feelings, you think too much. You imagine what a relationship with the man looks like and weigh the pros and cons. At the same time, you ask yourself whether you might prefer to stay single.
- You prefer casual affairs: if you get involved with a man, he can hurt you. To avoid this, you have numerous affairs and one night stands . You have fun for the moment and enjoy being coveted by different men.
- The man does not become part of your life: you are in love with the man by your side. You will not succeed in letting him into your life. Instead, you run your everyday life as before. You meet up with friends and only suggest a date from time to time.
- It is not easy for you to open up: you are cuddling in bed , but you are distant. Crying in front of him, talking about your problems and showing yourself vulnerable is not easy for you. Even an I love you barely comes across your lips. You are locked up and cannot let the other person close to you.
Reasons for inability to relate
There are numerous reasons for fear of relationships . Your parents may have had an unhappy relationship and divorced. As a child, you have noticed this and are worried that your partnership will also end.
Another reason are experiences that you have had with past partners. If a man separated from you, you may have had to find your happiness again. You are afraid of a new separation and therefore build a protective wall around you.
A lack of self-confidence sometimes leads to inability to bind . You may think that you are not good enough for your partner.
The opposite can also be the case: you hold a lot of yourself, concentrate on yourself and want to live your life as you please. Then you may think that a partner is stopping you or that you have to change your everyday life.
7 tips against inability to relate
There are people who are happy solo. However, if you want a partner at your side, you can do something about your inability to relate. You can learn to engage with a man and believe in your love .
We explain to you what the correct behavior can look like with tie angels:
- Learn to love yourself: do you think that you are not good enough for your partner? Then learn to love and appreciate yourself. You are great, otherwise the man by your side would not have fallen in love with you. Strengthen your self-confidence and believe in yourself. Always keep in mind that your sweetheart is at your side and not with his pretty work colleague.
- Be willing to compromise: A relationship always requires compromise. Accept these and put the needs of your partner in front of your own. Find solutions together and paint the living room wall orange if you think of red and your partner of beige. You will quickly see that you can handle compromises well.
- Don’t think about the past: your ex-boyfriend cheated and you don’t want to go through the feelings from back then. That is understandable. But always remember: Your new friend is not your ex-partner. Everyone is different and an affair for your loved one may not be an option. Try to tick off past experiences and see your current or future relationship as a new chapter.
- Minimize your demands: Inability to bind can arise if you make too high demands on your counterpart. Do you like bad boys and your date is the lovely guy next door? Give him a chance. Maybe he is the one who can fulfill your desire for security and a family.
- Go step by step: letting yourself in on a man is the beginning of a relationship. That doesn’t mean that you should plan a wedding or get pregnant right away. So that there are not too many changes in your life, you simply go step by step.
You will see that everything will come together. And then comes the day when you are ready to marry your partner and your love feels right.
- Let your partner into your life: If you are used to shaping your life independently, you might think: How should a partner fit into my everyday life? , If you love the other, it is not difficult. You then wish to spend the evening with him and watch this romantic film that he talked about . And when Saturday arrives, you can hardly imagine anything better than going on a trip to the lake.
How to encourage your partner
Do you love your sweetheart, but realize that it cannot be dropped? If your partner is unable to relate, you should heed the following:
- Do not put pressure on him: Your partner loves you, but still makes a lot of thought to your relationship. Take the pressure off him and don’t talk about marriage and children right from the start of your partnership. Take it slow and show yourself understanding.
- Let him have his freedom: he wants to meet his buddies in the favorite bar every week? Don’t stop him. If he can continue to do the things he enjoys, that will reinforce him. Then he knows that a relationship doesn’t change everything. Also at your side he stays he himself and can unfold.
- Talk to him about his fears: If you notice that he is afraid of a relationship, you should speak to him. Try to take his worries away by assuring him that you love him. Together you can develop strategies, thanks to which he feels comfortable in the partnership.
Disabled or not in love?
If you are careful about love matters, it does not automatically mean that you are incapable of relationship. You may just not be in love with each other. To find out what keeps you from starting a relationship, listen to yourself. Try to switch off and listen to your heart .
Can you imagine loving the man? Or does it look great on paper but does not arouse feelings in you? If you feel that the other is causing your stomach to tingle, you should give your love a chance.
With the right man at your side, the question is, am I unable to relate ? quickly become a thing of the past. Then at some point you will be sure and build the relationship you have always wanted.