Who doesn’t want to improve their love life with a few super simple little changes?
While you can invest weeks, months, and even years into changing your entire life and dating philosophy, you can still go a long way with just minor changes to improve how things are working out for you in the dating world.
In this fast-paced world, very few of us have the luxury to set aside time to make big changes in our life. Luckily, there are many little things we can do to drastically change the way we date, find love, and maintain a great relationship. So hold off on that sabbatical, and try these improvement tips!
Little changes that can make your love life better
In these 10 tiny changes, some are genuinely minute, while some will require a little more work or time, but all are in your best interest and do not require too much of your energy.
#1 Love yourself. This is number one with good reason. The more you authentically love yourself, the more you will be able to love others and allow others to love you, and the more confident you will be in your persona and relationships. All of this adds up to make you more attractive to the opposite *.
It won’t happen overnight, but you can work at it each day – practice being grateful for the things that you have and be kinder to yourself, flaws and all. It doesn’t take anything other than a small change in the way that you talk to yourself internally. [Read: 11 tips to fall in love with yourself and be a better you]
#2 Get in shape. Being in shape makes life better in many ways. Yes, people will find you more attractive and generally respond better towards you, but you will also feel better about yourself.
You will have more energy to spend with your partner. You will be happier and have better moods, which will reflect back on your relationships. You will be more confident and more likely to go after what you desire from life and relationships. Plus, your partner will be more excited to show you off to their friends and have mind blowing * when they find you *even more* physically attractive. [Read: 25 inspirational tips to get motivated and work out]
#3 Put down the phone. No, don’t hang up on your significant other. I mean the mobile. Just put down the phone, stick it in your pocket, and focus more on real life than the digital musings of the people you know. Admit it, who has ever sat swiping away on tinder, while with a tinder date? I have to admit that I have, and it wasn’t one of my best moments.
Your phone acts as a barrier to deep and open communication. There is nothing worse than trying to talk to someone or getting to know them when they have their nose in an iPhone and are only half listening. It is rude when you do it and discouraging when they do it – yet we all fall into the trap of doing it!
It takes a conscious effort to break this habit, as we are all so smartphone-addicted nowadays, but when you do, you will find that you can connect with people faster and on a deeper level. When you genuinely have each other’s undivided attention, fireworks will spark. [Read: The pros and cons of being attached to our gadgets]
#4 Improve your posture. Seriously, bad posture is unattractive. You do not look good when you’re hunched over, looking at the floor all the time. People notice this on a subconscious level. Few will know why, but they pick up a vibe that you’re not happy or confident.
Indeed, your posture affects your mood and vice versa. When your posture is bad, you will actually feel less happy, less confident, and less outgoing. Plus, you’ll end up experiencing a lot of back pain.
Make a conscious effort to sit and stand up straight, stop hunching over to look at your phone or tablet on your lap, and do some work to strengthen the postural muscles at the back of your body, while stretching out the tight muscles at the front of the neck, shoulders, and hips. This instant pick-me-up does wonders not only for your back, but for the attractiveness of your body language as well! [Read: 10 simple steps to be a lot more graceful and elegant]
#5 Dress well. If everyone else in the room is dressed a 7/10 and you walk in dressed an 8/10, every single person will notice you. You will command respect, and people will think that you must be someone important. You look confident, successful, and more than able to take care of yourself.
However, make sure that you don’t go over the top. Have a feel of the environment you’ll be in, so you can dress appropriately. You’ll just end up looking ridiculous if you waltz into a casual dining restaurant in a tux or a ball gown.
Again, like posture, this is a subconscious thing. People make snap judgments about people based on their appearance. The way that you dress and the way that you carry yourself are two of the things that you can change instantly, and it can immediately garner results. [Read: 13 easy ways to make yourself appear more physically attractive instantly]
#6 Be present. This is an extension of putting your phone away. When you are with someone, actually be with them! And this includes being mentally present, not just there in person and somewhere else in your head. Honestly, if someone cannot stimulate you enough to keep you present when you give it a concentrated effort, you probably shouldn’t be with them.
This goes for times when you are out meeting people, too. If you’re in a bar or a club, enjoy yourself in the moment. Thinking about stuff you have to do tomorrow isn’t going to make it go away or make dealing with it any easier. Enjoy the time you are living right now, and worry about tomorrow when it has become today. [Read: 16 things you need to stop doing to have a much happier life]
#7 Hold back a little. This mostly goes for when you’re seeing , and especially when you first meet. Let your partner chase after you a little bit. Do not lay everything out on a plate for them like they are the first person to notice your existence in years. They want to do a little bit of work to feel like you are worth the effort.
They want to woo you, and they want to feel like they won by attracting you. If you give yourself away emotionally too easily, you will never be exciting, and people will keep dumping you or cheating on you. If this has happened, and especially if it is a pattern, start keeping your cards a little closer to your chest.
Don’t jump straight into a relationship with someone the second you meet them. You want to maintain the ability to surprise them, after all. [Read: 20 ways to perfect your first date conversation]
#8 Be really good at *. This is not exactly mind-blowing information. People who have good * tend to have good relationships. Or at least good * makes a bad relationship bearable. But how often have you actually thought about how to be better at *?
It’s something that is very touchy for our ego. It is very hard for anyone to admit they are not as good as they could be in the sack. The fact is, ego aside, we could all improve. We could all be better. It will pay dividends for you and for your partner if you put a bit of work into being better.
This could be working on your fitness to be stronger, more flexible, and have more stamina. It could be using your imagination to spice things up and throw in some surprises. It could be researching new things and trying to make small tweaks to positions to increase the pleasure for both parties. [Read: 13 untold * secrets you need to know]
#9 Be honest and authentic. We hate putting ourselves, our ego, and our emotions on the line. We might be judged, or even worse, rejected. This is natural for humans. We are social creatures, and it cuts deep when you feel the sting of rejection.
Despite that, to have a true connection with someone, to live and love authentically, you absolutely must be honest. Be honest about your intentions. Be honest about your past. Be honest about your feelings.
If the other person doesn’t like it, then that is okay. It obviously wasn’t meant to be. They would find out eventually, anyway. You can’t live a lie forever. But if they do like what you genuinely have to offer, even if it’s not exactly what they hoped for, they will like you a WHOLE lot more.
#10 Spend more time apart and more quality time together. If you’re in a relationship and you spend your entire lives together, you are suffocating each other. You might not realize it, but if you are not doing things separately, you will not grow as people, and you will not grow together. If you don’t grow, the relationship will go stale eventually. [Read: How to give space to each other without drifting apart]
Spending more time apart will make you value the time that you spend together more, as a bit of absence can make the heart grow fonder. Plus, you can bring more experiences, tales, and tidbits of insight into the relationship. Don’t just spend time together for the sake of being around each other, as that will only breed contempt. Instead, make sure that every minute you have together is meaningful and enjoyable.