Sometimes, it can be very tricky to try to find out what is going wrong in your relationship. You might have the feeling that things aren’t quite as perfect as they should be, but you can’t quite put your finger on what the problem is.
Making things even more confusing is the fact that it is often difficult to view your own relationship in an objective light. However, luckily there are many common mistakes that women make in relationships, which you may find that you’re currently doing.
By checking if you’re doing any of these things, you can pinpoint exactly what you may be doing to contribute to the downward slope of your relationship.
What are the most common mistakes women make?
Here is a list of some of the main ones that you can use to apply to your own relationship. Hopefully, this will help you solve your pesky relationship problems.
#1 Being overly needy. This is one of the single greatest mistakes that women make in relationships. Men are looking for romantic partners, not clients for a psychotherapy practice. So if you find yourself trying to get your boyfriend or partner to solve all of your emotional problems, this can definitely be an issue.
Sometimes, the emotions just start flying when you enter a relationship. Especially if your boyfriend is emotionally stable – you might see the relationship as an opportunity to heal some of your issues from your past. While healthy relationships definitely do involve emotional support, your boyfriend most likely does not want to become your therapist. [Read: 13 clingy girlfriends signs and how to avoid them]
#2 Being completely emotionally unavailable. On the other side of the emotional spectrum is complete emotional unavailability. In order to create a relationship that lasts, your boyfriend needs to be able to connect with you on a deep, emotional level. If you have too many walls up, he might feel that there is a barricade around your heart.
While many guys might see this as an exciting challenge at first, if they feel that they will never be able to break through the barricade, they might give up on you. So look out for that.
#3 Being too sarcastic. Sarcasm can often provide humor and comic relief, but too much of it, or inappropriate use of it, can make your boyfriend feel insecure. If you are constantly using sarcasm, your boyfriend might be getting the impression that you don’t actually like him enough, or that you can’t be genuine.
#4 Lying. This is another big mistake that both men and women often make in relationships. Trust is an important component of most relationships. Even though men are generally bigger and stronger than their girlfriends, they are not immune to heart ache, or the pain of being lied to. So, if you want your man to keep his heart invested in you, you have to make sure that he trusts you. He doesn’t want to get hurt either! [Read: How to stop lying to yourself and to your partner]
#5 Being unreliable. If you tell your boyfriend that you are going to meet him for a date at seven thirty, but don’t show up until an hour later, this is going to bother him. Besides the fact that you are wasting his time, it’s a metaphor for other things in your life.
Being unreliable about timing can translate to being unreliable about other things, like your job, or your bills, or other important things. If you are constantly proving yourself to be unreliable, it could definitely be putting strain on your relationship, and might be causing your boyfriend to rethink the whole thing.
#6 Being extremely messy. Although you may thrive in an apartment filled with mountains full of your belongings and other random objects strewn about it, it might be a turnoff for your boyfriend. In this situation, he might be thinking further down the line, and worrying that his life could turn into an episode of Hoarders. So, you might want to throw away some of the junk that you haven’t touched in three years.
#7 Partying too much. Partying too much is another common mistake that women make. Your boyfriend probably enjoys having some drinks with you, or going to the bar, or to a party, or whatever. But if you are constantly ripping Jell-O shots and puking in the bathroom, this may become a concern for him.
Interestingly, it might not only be a concern for him because it is frustrating to have to clean up after you, and watch out for you, but it may be painful for him to see someone whom he cares about hurting her own health with her drinking.
#8 Trying to force your boyfriend to get along with all your friends and family members. You may not consider this at first when you are thinking about your relationship problems, but this can be an important one. More than likely, your boyfriend wants you to accept him for who he is. He is not going to want to change his personality, or be inauthentic in order to win over your friend or family member.
These situations can be tricky. However, if you sense that your boyfriend is really stressing out about this, then maybe you really shouldn’t force the issue. Perhaps you can simply ask him to be civil to friends or family members whom he doesn’t get along with. Hopefully that will work.
#9 Neglect. This is a mistake that girls make that can sneak up out of nowhere. You might truly love your boyfriend, and want the relationship to last as long as possible, but if you aren’t giving your man enough of your attention, it might start to cause problems for him.
Men have psychical and emotional needs too, and if you aren’t meeting them for your boyfriend, he might start to consider other options for getting them met. This isn’t to say that he will cheat on you necessarily. But he may start spending more time with other females, and eventually, he may leave you for one of them if things don’t improve. So don’t forget to make time for him! [Read: 10 deceptively simple reasons why men cheat]
#10 Poor communication. Poor communication can be a very significant mistake for women in relationships. Problems inevitably arise when two people become a couple. These problems can be extremely varied in their nature. It could be as simple as forgetting to pick up some oranges at the grocery store, or as complex as not being able to read subtle hints of body language.
Whatever the case may be, problems have to be solved. If you are someone who is incapable of communicating in a healthy way, or apologizing for your actions, this can be something that really bothers your boyfriend. So don’t forget to communicate properly in order to help solve your problems!